Hello Everyone! (Warning: Long Post)
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2016
Location: VA
Posts: 5
Hello Everyone! (Warning: Long Post)
Hey everybody. Just wanted to introduce myself and provide a little background. I'm a 21 y/o male, been drinking for about 8 years, and heavily for about 5. Have alcoholics on both sides of the family, some of whom just love to drink every day but can do so in moderation, others whom don't drink as often, but binge drink. I got the worst of both worlds. I could (and have) drink every day, and as soon as it touches my lips it's game over, I can't stop.
I have had multiple run-ins with the law, because I am completely incapable of making good decisions when I drink. Most recently was a theft (I don't steal things sober) and a DUI (my second one, first as an adult). On top of that, I've completely disappointed the wonderful family with which I've been blessed. I've been known to disappear for a few days on a bender and leave everybody worried sick. Lost a few jobs as well because of it. Yet despite all this, I still continued to drink.
I've "tried" multiple times in the past to get clean, but it's gotten to the point where no one believes me when I say I'm going to (rightfully so, I might add). I went to A.A. a few times, but the average age of everyone there had to have been early 60's, and I just felt like there was no way they could take me seriously. Seems like any time I get some cash I immediately go back, no matter how much I had told myself I really wanted to get clean. However, I've come to the realization that I WILL wind up dead or in prison if I keep drinking, and I can NOT keep letting my loving family down like this.
This time, I'm wanting it to be different, and I feel like I'm actually beginning to put forth effort. I've created a new facebook and blocked all my old drinking buddies, and let all my other friends (not drinking buddies per se, but still friends that drink) know that if they bring it around me, I will be forced to cut them out of my life, no questions asked. I know the decision is ultimately mine, but I feel it will be much easier without it around me. I also quit smoking pot, which I never have done before. Seems like I can't really be sober if I'm still getting high, y'know?
I do still live at home, as I'm in debt to my eyeballs in court costs, as well as unemployed (because of my drinking), though I am waiting for the urinalysis results on a job now. Dad does like the company though, so I don't mind. I've decided that I'm gonna give my Dad my first few checks so he can monitor my spending until I feel like I can control myself and not get alcohol. I feel pathetic for having such little self control, but it is what it is I suppose. This time around, I want to make everyone proud, and surprised. I want to do this for myself too, because I KNOW I have potential and am just wasting it.
It just terrifies me to know that this could be just like all the other times, but I'm doing everything to make sure that isn't the case. I've never been the suicidal type (nor am I now, would never do that to my family) but over the past few months I've sunk lower than ever before. Seems like if this is the endless cycle I'm doomed to repeat, life isn't even worth living. I had my last drink on September 30th. I believe if I can make it to November, then I can make it to December, and so on and so forth.
So, I figured I'd join the forum, because of how I felt about the people in A.A. not being able to take me seriously due to my age. I look forward to meeting you all, and I just wanna thank everybody that took the time to read this. My apologies for the long post. Just not really stuff that I like to discuss with people that I know in real life, and it feels good to get everything out. -Tyler
I have had multiple run-ins with the law, because I am completely incapable of making good decisions when I drink. Most recently was a theft (I don't steal things sober) and a DUI (my second one, first as an adult). On top of that, I've completely disappointed the wonderful family with which I've been blessed. I've been known to disappear for a few days on a bender and leave everybody worried sick. Lost a few jobs as well because of it. Yet despite all this, I still continued to drink.
I've "tried" multiple times in the past to get clean, but it's gotten to the point where no one believes me when I say I'm going to (rightfully so, I might add). I went to A.A. a few times, but the average age of everyone there had to have been early 60's, and I just felt like there was no way they could take me seriously. Seems like any time I get some cash I immediately go back, no matter how much I had told myself I really wanted to get clean. However, I've come to the realization that I WILL wind up dead or in prison if I keep drinking, and I can NOT keep letting my loving family down like this.
This time, I'm wanting it to be different, and I feel like I'm actually beginning to put forth effort. I've created a new facebook and blocked all my old drinking buddies, and let all my other friends (not drinking buddies per se, but still friends that drink) know that if they bring it around me, I will be forced to cut them out of my life, no questions asked. I know the decision is ultimately mine, but I feel it will be much easier without it around me. I also quit smoking pot, which I never have done before. Seems like I can't really be sober if I'm still getting high, y'know?
I do still live at home, as I'm in debt to my eyeballs in court costs, as well as unemployed (because of my drinking), though I am waiting for the urinalysis results on a job now. Dad does like the company though, so I don't mind. I've decided that I'm gonna give my Dad my first few checks so he can monitor my spending until I feel like I can control myself and not get alcohol. I feel pathetic for having such little self control, but it is what it is I suppose. This time around, I want to make everyone proud, and surprised. I want to do this for myself too, because I KNOW I have potential and am just wasting it.
It just terrifies me to know that this could be just like all the other times, but I'm doing everything to make sure that isn't the case. I've never been the suicidal type (nor am I now, would never do that to my family) but over the past few months I've sunk lower than ever before. Seems like if this is the endless cycle I'm doomed to repeat, life isn't even worth living. I had my last drink on September 30th. I believe if I can make it to November, then I can make it to December, and so on and so forth.
So, I figured I'd join the forum, because of how I felt about the people in A.A. not being able to take me seriously due to my age. I look forward to meeting you all, and I just wanna thank everybody that took the time to read this. My apologies for the long post. Just not really stuff that I like to discuss with people that I know in real life, and it feels good to get everything out. -Tyler
Member
Join Date: Sep 2016
Posts: 249
New to the World (great username)
Welcome to Sober Recovery forums!
I'm Snarly - 14 days Sober today.
Sir:
First. what an amazing first post. Outstanding. REALLY.
You are me quite a few years ago!
I can relate on just about every point.
I joined the military to escape heavy addiction and very bad crowd.
I did not have your resolve until many relapses and years later.
I am 14 days sober today.
This forum and members are a huge part of why I have 14 days. I came here and had major withdrawals and could not think straight.
I set a thread and introduced myself just as you have done.. Great job on posting this and being so honest.
My thread allowed my to create a safe haven here in Sober Recovery (aka s/r) forums.. I used it as a tool to ramble and vent.. so many posts!
Members were quick to welcome me and responded to my posts regardless of how petty my concerns were.
AA has principles that s/r members demonstrate through their action n the forums:
They do not judge
All are welcome
All you need for membership is a desire to stop drinking
...and so much more
Do not be put off on my AA advertising: this forum is open to all forms of recovery ... I myself have an interest in "Rational Recovery" and another called "SMART" to supplement the tools that AA has taught me.
Please stick around and read the forum posts.. Thank members whose posts you really relate with... remember that all of the content on this site is from members sharing their experience, strength, hope and yes failures and regrets.
Again welcome .... keep coming back
Snarly
ps
s/r is global.. 24/7 someone's always "on" I've met some amazing people
Welcome to Sober Recovery forums!
I'm Snarly - 14 days Sober today.
Sir:
First. what an amazing first post. Outstanding. REALLY.
You are me quite a few years ago!
I can relate on just about every point.
I joined the military to escape heavy addiction and very bad crowd.
I did not have your resolve until many relapses and years later.
I am 14 days sober today.
This forum and members are a huge part of why I have 14 days. I came here and had major withdrawals and could not think straight.
I set a thread and introduced myself just as you have done.. Great job on posting this and being so honest.
My thread allowed my to create a safe haven here in Sober Recovery (aka s/r) forums.. I used it as a tool to ramble and vent.. so many posts!
Members were quick to welcome me and responded to my posts regardless of how petty my concerns were.
AA has principles that s/r members demonstrate through their action n the forums:
They do not judge
All are welcome
All you need for membership is a desire to stop drinking
...and so much more
Do not be put off on my AA advertising: this forum is open to all forms of recovery ... I myself have an interest in "Rational Recovery" and another called "SMART" to supplement the tools that AA has taught me.
Please stick around and read the forum posts.. Thank members whose posts you really relate with... remember that all of the content on this site is from members sharing their experience, strength, hope and yes failures and regrets.
Again welcome .... keep coming back
Snarly
ps
s/r is global.. 24/7 someone's always "on" I've met some amazing people
Member
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Toronto,Ontario
Posts: 1,027
Tyler-
AA is a tool to get/stay sober... As the big book states - "drinking is but a symptom".. It is critical you peel the onion back, and address the underlying issues of your addiction.. Naturally, there's evidence that genetics do play a role, but I am a great example of what can be accomplished.
Science behind addiction has also drastically evolved since the early days of AA, as such - it is CRITICAL you speak to someone in a medical field that understands alcoholism and is FIT & EXPERIENCED to treat it..
Revia and Vivitrol are great medications that can be taken to support your recovery....
Please keep us posted, and feel free to PM me with any questions.
All the best brother.
TG.
AA is a tool to get/stay sober... As the big book states - "drinking is but a symptom".. It is critical you peel the onion back, and address the underlying issues of your addiction.. Naturally, there's evidence that genetics do play a role, but I am a great example of what can be accomplished.
Science behind addiction has also drastically evolved since the early days of AA, as such - it is CRITICAL you speak to someone in a medical field that understands alcoholism and is FIT & EXPERIENCED to treat it..
Revia and Vivitrol are great medications that can be taken to support your recovery....
Please keep us posted, and feel free to PM me with any questions.
All the best brother.
TG.
totfit
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Ft Collins, CO
Posts: 1,273
Congratulations on recognition and starting to take steps and your age. Though getting sober and gaining ground is a tough process at the beginning, it is not near as tough as continuing "down the drunken path". I did not put alcohol aside because I am a "masochist". I put alcohol aside because it truly is the easier softer way. Just put one step in front of the other, make some small achievable living goals and progress along the way. Find other interests and pursue those interests. Develop a mindset not that you are "not going to drink", but instead that you are going to do something else. If you continue soberly doing and achieving small goals you will look back one of these days and think, "wow, what a difference".
Member
Join Date: Aug 2016
Posts: 379
Im so glad you are here. Stick around and let us help you to realize your dreams, let us love you and support you through it.
Theres people from all ages around here, your age isnt important your willingness is. Personally, I adore people your age. Maybe it brings out the mama in me !
Be blessed and just dont drink today!
Theres people from all ages around here, your age isnt important your willingness is. Personally, I adore people your age. Maybe it brings out the mama in me !
Be blessed and just dont drink today!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: milwaukee wi
Posts: 3,574
I knew some great people so long ago.. and so many that had our problems with no where to go.... today is the day a light in a motel room never went out.. but the Little Girl Blue shot up with no one there.. and never knew of the person that loved her so much... please play and then look at yourself in a mirror and know that this group loves you so much... a Lady Clown...
https://youtu.be/rX8hOw31wCQ
https://youtu.be/rX8hOw31wCQ
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 6,902
I've met plenty of younger people in AA. And as long as they take their recovery seriously the folk around them do as well. You know, most of us start our AA journeys with a little contempt prior to investigation. I had a great list of reasons for how I was 'different ' to others in the rooms, and why it probably wouldn't work for me. I almost managed to prove myself right. Luckily I got desperate enough to find the willingness needed for my leap of faith, and to put my faith in something that I could see worked for others (because all I knew was that what I was doing wasn't working too great for me - sure, I was sober, but I was also insane and getting closer and closer to suicidal).
Anyway - that aside. Glad you found your way here, to this forum.
Wishing you all the best for your recovery. BB
Anyway - that aside. Glad you found your way here, to this forum.
Wishing you all the best for your recovery. BB
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2016
Location: VA
Posts: 5
Thanks for the welcomes everyone! Glad to be here, and definitely looking forward to getting to know everyone!
Snarly- Thank you, and congrats on making it two weeks! Appreciate the kind words as well. Seems like it will be good to have other people around that get it, y'know? I'll have to look into the Rational Recovery and SMART that you mentioned.
ZenLifter- Thank ya! Nice to see so many people on here with similar stories.
TorontoGuy- Thank you! I agree completely. I think a lot of it stems from anxiety. My mind stays racing, have trouble sleeping because my brain won't shut up, etc. Once I get some of this court money paid off I'm gonna start seeing a substance counsellor to "peel back the layers" as you stated.
totfit- Thank you! I do agree that in the long run it will be less rough on me, because the only other option is the grave or prison. Kinda seems like a worthy sacrifice if ya think about it, haha.
Ooona- I appreciate it more than you know! That's the plan. I've been told that a big thing is just doing like you said, taking it a day at a time and remembering not to drink today.
Soberwolf- Thank you, nice to meet you as well!
Berrybean- That's good to know. I'm still planning on going back, because I do feel that you're right in saying that my brain is just making excuses to justify not going through A.A.And thank you for the welcome!
Snarly- Thank you, and congrats on making it two weeks! Appreciate the kind words as well. Seems like it will be good to have other people around that get it, y'know? I'll have to look into the Rational Recovery and SMART that you mentioned.
ZenLifter- Thank ya! Nice to see so many people on here with similar stories.
TorontoGuy- Thank you! I agree completely. I think a lot of it stems from anxiety. My mind stays racing, have trouble sleeping because my brain won't shut up, etc. Once I get some of this court money paid off I'm gonna start seeing a substance counsellor to "peel back the layers" as you stated.
totfit- Thank you! I do agree that in the long run it will be less rough on me, because the only other option is the grave or prison. Kinda seems like a worthy sacrifice if ya think about it, haha.
Ooona- I appreciate it more than you know! That's the plan. I've been told that a big thing is just doing like you said, taking it a day at a time and remembering not to drink today.
Soberwolf- Thank you, nice to meet you as well!
Berrybean- That's good to know. I'm still planning on going back, because I do feel that you're right in saying that my brain is just making excuses to justify not going through A.A.And thank you for the welcome!
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