In a total funk- seems to be common
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 4,251
In a total funk- seems to be common
Hi everyone, just checking in to keep on the straight and narrow.
I guess you can tell from my post the other day I am just in a big funk, a bad mood that continues to persist. This is not how I like to be and now how I generally am.
I would say it started the day after I had my slip some time ago- one night of drinking (not even that much, as if that matters) and it just won't go away.
I know it has to do with my disappointment in myself but it is like something profound has changed in me. I felt so clean and positive going on 5 months, working towards 6 months when I would be invited back to my rehab centre to speak to a group. Now I can't even remember how many sober days- I guess it is more than a month now- that I have strung together. it is like I have lost the will to care.
But it can't be just that. We all make mistakes and I got back at it. I am not sure what it is. My medication seems to be at the right level. My psychiatrist doesn't think i am depressed, he says he sees me doing a lot of active, positive things for my recovery and my life. But I don't know, I am just really... meh.
Me and my boyfriend got back together. I had broken up with him ONCE AND FOR ALL!!! But he wouldn't give up and came back with the passion and determination of one thousand white hot suns. We have had many, many long talks about what we both want and need and he is really and truly making so many efforts and changes to accommodate my needs. It is all very positive. He is finally, fully on board with my sobriety, even offering to go to an AA meeting with me (he couldn't, the meeting here is closed).
Things should be good but I am just really grumpy.
I see a lot of these posts of people hitting a slump where they don't feel good. Why do you think this is? Why do we get this way? Do you think it is all because of the relapse I had some time back?
What can I do to get back to being my positive self? I don't like being this way.
By the way, the issue with the mom group was resolved. I spoke directly to the mother who posted the racist photo and explained my point of view. She appreciated me speaking to her directly and said she would be careful about what she posted in the future. I didn't try to change her views, I just asked her not to expose me to such stuff. I'm only worried now if any of my son's friends will come to his birthday party in November. I have time to worry about that though....
I guess you can tell from my post the other day I am just in a big funk, a bad mood that continues to persist. This is not how I like to be and now how I generally am.
I would say it started the day after I had my slip some time ago- one night of drinking (not even that much, as if that matters) and it just won't go away.
I know it has to do with my disappointment in myself but it is like something profound has changed in me. I felt so clean and positive going on 5 months, working towards 6 months when I would be invited back to my rehab centre to speak to a group. Now I can't even remember how many sober days- I guess it is more than a month now- that I have strung together. it is like I have lost the will to care.
But it can't be just that. We all make mistakes and I got back at it. I am not sure what it is. My medication seems to be at the right level. My psychiatrist doesn't think i am depressed, he says he sees me doing a lot of active, positive things for my recovery and my life. But I don't know, I am just really... meh.
Me and my boyfriend got back together. I had broken up with him ONCE AND FOR ALL!!! But he wouldn't give up and came back with the passion and determination of one thousand white hot suns. We have had many, many long talks about what we both want and need and he is really and truly making so many efforts and changes to accommodate my needs. It is all very positive. He is finally, fully on board with my sobriety, even offering to go to an AA meeting with me (he couldn't, the meeting here is closed).
Things should be good but I am just really grumpy.
I see a lot of these posts of people hitting a slump where they don't feel good. Why do you think this is? Why do we get this way? Do you think it is all because of the relapse I had some time back?
What can I do to get back to being my positive self? I don't like being this way.
By the way, the issue with the mom group was resolved. I spoke directly to the mother who posted the racist photo and explained my point of view. She appreciated me speaking to her directly and said she would be careful about what she posted in the future. I didn't try to change her views, I just asked her not to expose me to such stuff. I'm only worried now if any of my son's friends will come to his birthday party in November. I have time to worry about that though....
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 937
Happens to me too. A lot. One change I have noticed though is that I can rebound much more quickly - and of course when I feel a funk, or a "meh" mood, or even downright pissed or sad, I tell myself that it will pass - and it does.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: W Washington
Posts: 11,589
i think we forget that "funks" are NORMAL......everyone has down days, or down weeks, hitting a slump. the difference is what we DO about it.
sometimes ya just gotta suck it up. left, right, repeat. act as if. trudge that happy road to destiny. there is a very good reason why the use the term TRUDGE in the Big Book. it ain't all sunshine and unicorns. life, real life, isn't like that.
sometimes ya just gotta suck it up. left, right, repeat. act as if. trudge that happy road to destiny. there is a very good reason why the use the term TRUDGE in the Big Book. it ain't all sunshine and unicorns. life, real life, isn't like that.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2016
Posts: 409
I totally understand! I have good days and bad days all in the same week consistently. I often wonder why! But I assume that is just part of change of lifestyle and feeling emotions since I have nummed them for so long. The good thing about bad days is a good day is just around the corner
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: US
Posts: 5,095
Hi Mera
I'm sorry you're feeling down. I don't have any fab words of wisdom. Maybe some of this is due to your relapse....some kind of chemical upset that may take time to correct. You don't sound like the obsession to drink has returned. Has it?
My thoughts and emotions drive my behavior. Gratitude doesn't come naturally to me so I have to choose to be grateful. If I'm grateful I can't be resentful at the same time. It's hard when I'm down in the dumps but necessary to make change happen. I also know my thinking gets all screwed up when I start focusing too far in the future or thinking about things I have zero control over....just kind of starts a downward spiral in my healthy thinking.
Hang in there. Focus on the positive. Watch a funny movie. Smile. Be grateful. This too shall pass.
I'm sorry you're feeling down. I don't have any fab words of wisdom. Maybe some of this is due to your relapse....some kind of chemical upset that may take time to correct. You don't sound like the obsession to drink has returned. Has it?
My thoughts and emotions drive my behavior. Gratitude doesn't come naturally to me so I have to choose to be grateful. If I'm grateful I can't be resentful at the same time. It's hard when I'm down in the dumps but necessary to make change happen. I also know my thinking gets all screwed up when I start focusing too far in the future or thinking about things I have zero control over....just kind of starts a downward spiral in my healthy thinking.
Hang in there. Focus on the positive. Watch a funny movie. Smile. Be grateful. This too shall pass.
Blue Belt
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Soberville, USA
Posts: 4,174
Now that I am nice and clean a good work out gets me feeling good. Today I took a day off from the gym. Need those too.
Today, while i wasn't too funked, i cooked up a nice steak. It was good and made me happy.
Today, around 4 pm...my crave window....I was riding in my truck i listening to my favorite music. I sang along and laughed at how bad I sung. The crave passed in moments.
I think these things are pretty much what sober people do to have fun...
Oh ya...check in w SR....that is a great sober activity...
Thanks for the post.
Today, while i wasn't too funked, i cooked up a nice steak. It was good and made me happy.
Today, around 4 pm...my crave window....I was riding in my truck i listening to my favorite music. I sang along and laughed at how bad I sung. The crave passed in moments.
I think these things are pretty much what sober people do to have fun...
Oh ya...check in w SR....that is a great sober activity...
Thanks for the post.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Toronto, ON
Posts: 518
Originally Posted by Linz805 
I totally understand! I have good days and bad days all in the same week consistently. I often wonder why! But I assume that is just part of change of lifestyle and feeling emotions since I have nummed them for so long. The good thing about bad days is a good day is just around the corner
Hear me out.. when drinking (while drinking) we can keep our state of being in a perpetual numbness (escapism) at a drop of a dime you take a swig to control your emotions.
In Sobriety (real life), there is no perpetual state; just ups and downs that come and go. Maybe that is what life is supposed to be? Maybe as alcoholics we didnt like the fluctuations of normal emotions - and did something about it, Ofcourse the outcome is horrible. but perhaps it is better to simply "enjoy" the downturns in emotion and accept them as normal - there is no secret cure to the blues.
As i approach 11 months i have come to the conclusion that periodic general malaise and/or disinterest is simply a part of life. I try to remsain patient knowing that it will pass. It always does.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 709
Exercise. Volunteer. Meditate. But you know all these things. Is it possible that you were feeling like this in years prior but drinking made you forget about it? Now that the newness of sobriety has worn off, we are faced with the issues that got us drinking in the first place. Or, maybe it's that your brief flirtation with alcohol made you sad that you can "never" have a drink again? Or....well, I don't know you, but you seem very self-aware. Could seeing a counselor help?
Member
Join Date: Jul 2016
Posts: 409
Originally Posted by JoeCree
just thinking outloud here, but is there anything written about emotional consistency in sobriety?
Hear me out.. when drinking (while drinking) we can keep our state of being in a perpetual numbness (escapism) at a drop of a dime you take a swig to control your emotions.
In Sobriety (real life), there is no perpetual state; just ups and downs that come and go. Maybe that is what life is supposed to be? Maybe as alcoholics we didnt like the fluctuations of normal emotions - and did something about it, Ofcourse the outcome is horrible. but perhaps it is better to simply "enjoy" the downturns in emotion and accept them as normal - there is no secret cure to the blues.
As i approach 11 months i have come to the conclusion that periodic general malaise and/or disinterest is simply a part of life. I try to remsain patient knowing that it will pass. It always does.
Hear me out.. when drinking (while drinking) we can keep our state of being in a perpetual numbness (escapism) at a drop of a dime you take a swig to control your emotions.
In Sobriety (real life), there is no perpetual state; just ups and downs that come and go. Maybe that is what life is supposed to be? Maybe as alcoholics we didnt like the fluctuations of normal emotions - and did something about it, Ofcourse the outcome is horrible. but perhaps it is better to simply "enjoy" the downturns in emotion and accept them as normal - there is no secret cure to the blues.
As i approach 11 months i have come to the conclusion that periodic general malaise and/or disinterest is simply a part of life. I try to remsain patient knowing that it will pass. It always does.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Toronto, ON
Posts: 518
Originally Posted by Linz805
Yes. Sobriety as in real life. Sometimes I would think oh if I could just quit drinking I would be so happy but now that I have been sober it's just part of living. Drinking or not we will all have our days! Totally normal and ok! Obviously the sober bad funk days is a million times better then the drunk bad days!
I will say that your average day vastly improves being sober, but you will still get bad spells and enjoy great periods too. Being sober has allowed me to truly appreciate my life, and espevially to live life on my terms now. It's very empowering, to have freedom.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
