Madruski

Hey everyone,

Just a small update and I guess i need dislodge and vent some information from my mind.

So as said I didn't get a single craving today, and what a time ! Today my relationship with quite a nice girl ended today, that's a good 1.5 years of trying for both of us.

It's no biggie, relationships come and go, it was mutal and amicable. With in a few days I will be back on my horse. (Btw booze didn't cause this end)

But the positivity I took from it was on my way home, I walked past 2 bars, 2 beer worlds and one supermarket, and not a SINGLE thought of "ooo time for a drink" crossed my mind. Nor did it at home

I actually looked at that beer sign with quite abit if anger and thought " I have no time for this sh*t atm" . And it wasn't a forced anger , it was a natural response.

For once I actually felt like I don't drink, I had no urge, no craving, no love or Friendly thoughts for my so called "friend in a bottle"

My mind was so full of thoughts that it just had no room for the thought "a drink will make this good"


To use the ending as an excuse to drink would if really been a new low for me and iam glad I didn't.

And I still can't believe I actually said no without gritting my teeth and forcing

Delizadee

Sorry about your relationship but you sound like you're doing really well with sobriety. Good for you and I hope youre proud of yourself. That's great

Madruski

Thanks

It is still very early days for me though.

Sorry I forgot.

I forgot I walked Into the store to get milk, But still straight past all the booze without thinking . I did observe the man infront buying whiskey though.

He was old, face was puffy, he looked like life has beaten him or the alcohol has :/

These people always stand out to me now, like huge STOP signals.

MrPL

Good effort man!

I find that when everything around is telling me to drink and I don't it gives the whole recovery process a big boost, hope it works this way for you too, seems like your head is in the right place!

P

Madruski

So far I've noticed that's it's in a much better place then previous quitting attempts.

I seem to be taking this more seriously this time.

MrPL

Same here. Let's keep going!

P

PurpleKnight

Sorry to hear about your relationship Madruski, great job pushing through!!

Ooona

Im sorry about your relationship break up and it sounds like it was a healthy break up with it being amicable and etc. I have always struggled with endings even if they are for the best and in fact what I wanted in the first place ( confusing? I know!). Maybe its about having too much time on my hands after someone significant has left my life, it just leaves these open blocks of time and I have been known to have some people withdrawal. Im married now but when that happened to me before I found getting involved in some sort of new project or hobbie helped me get thru the early days.
Re. Alcohol cravings, I could really relate. Maybe it has to do with surrendering completely to the fact that we are choosing to be alcohol free, helps us to turn off those chirping voices and takes all of that internal struggle away. I know I am dealing with a very tough situation right now, one that has me feeling quite heartbroken and fearful but drinking hasnt even been a thought for me. ( Thank You Lord!)
Have a great day. Be Blessed.

Dee74

I'm glad you didn't drink

D

Madruski

Оoona - I suppose when there is something really important and heavy on ones mind, it out weighs the perceived "importance" of drinking. In your case the heartbreaking and painful event ( which I hope resolves it's self soon for you). But I believe the trap is in the coming days even if first few days were drink free.

Dee - you won't believe how glad I am!
Btw thanks for the updated plan link, I've downloaded the PDF and currently reading through it. Il post a plan in the upcoming days.

PrinzessinD

Yes! Let's all keep going

Prinnyruler

That's very interesting.
I use my alcoholic workmate as inspiration...to not drink.
I think seeing other people who are heavy drinkers gives us pause for thought so we don't become/go back to that

Madruski

Thats exactly right, and I always stop to think what journey they have had to get this far into alcoholism. It's a bright realisation that it's very VERY possible to get to that stage If one is not careful.

Ironically, I am also aware that some ppl here are at that exact stage, and I ofcrourse wish them luck and progress and congratulate if a change has been made.

Ofcourse we are all at different stages of age, life experiences and problems. Iam a young alcoholic and id like to say that iam aware that although to me my problems are big, they are tiny compared to some of the stories I have read here. Which relates back to the old man at the shop.

Dee74

have a good day MadRuski

D