Lightning Bug

Ok so you are probably aware of the fact that I tend to talk a lot and my posts are usually long. I am articulate and my posts are well thought out. That is because I am a writer and I like to paint a picture with words. I am always in perfect control of what I say and how I say it.

Well, in real life I am known as the world's greatest listener. I am the one who only opens her mouth to ask where the bar is. I smile and nod and encourage others to talk TO me instead of WITH me. I can't think of anything say without proper preparation and you can't do that in a conversation.

Well, I am going to raise my hand with gusto tonight and I am going share about my rough homecoming and my need for a sponsor. I am going to just throw out a bone and hopefully someone catches it. Because I know damn well that I am not going to approach anyone privately. And my recovery is on the line. I have to start the steps.

So send some courage to me please. I will report back my success.

Lightning Bug

Anyone? Words of encouragement please!

Berrybean

Just tell your story. As it is. No matter if you think it embarrassing or boring or whatever. It will be helpful to someone. Betcha!!!

We just plop the pebble in the pool and send the ripples out. Sometimes we even get to see the ripples hit the shore, and learn how our story made a diffrence to someone. Sometimes we just send the ripples and don't know the exact effect of them. I've never heard a share yet that I didn't get something from, and I don't suppose yours is going to be any diffrent.

It's fine to feel nervous or fearful. As long as we're not led by that fear. Just lean on into it. A good calming technique I use is slow deep breath in (thinking 'God in') and breathe out slowly and controlled (thinking 'fear out'). Repeat x4.

You CAN do this. Looking forward to hearing how it goes.

Lightning Bug

Thanks Beanie. What really makes it weird is that most people are nervous or anxious of public speaking. I am not. Can get up in front of a hundred people and speak. Going up to one woman at AA ? Terrified.

mecanix

good luck earth steps ,

It can be hard to reach out but the help can be invaluable even if it is uncomfortable , isolation is part of the dis-ease for me , maybe it is for you .

Be your own best advocate .

Bestwishes, m

Berrybean

I know. It's personal stuff and very precious to us. We want to protect it and keep it safe, but the only way to keep it alive is by sharing it. X

MidnightRider

You will do fine..... Speak from the heart. Just like you do when posting here. Straight forward !

Best to you tonight... We will be here rooting for ya.

Lightning Bug

Isolation is my go to response to anything that makes me feel bad, hurt, uncomfortable, etc etc. I put up a wall so tall and strong that Humpty never even attempts to try and sit on it.

Gotta work on that.

Lightning Bug

I tried that my first night at AA when I bawled like a baby about how I wanted to go back to rehab because reality was scary.

soberclover

I'm the same earthsteps in that I can speak openly in my professional life, but freak about speaking at an AA meeting. I'm getting better with practice. And I try to stay focused on the fact that I'm sharing for my benefit really and I need to do whatever is necessary in order to stay on my recovery journey.

MidnightRider

Well then... At least you got that out of the way! ;-)

Lightning Bug

Lol. I got more numbers that night than a Chippendale dancer on ladies night.

sugarbear1

Now use those numbers!

Lightning Bug

Damn. I am here and the first thing I did was sit in the back by myself. I can't even bring myself to sit next to anyone.

Psyching myself up.
I can do this.
I really really can.
I am never going to get anywhere if I don't speak to anyone.
Got a go.

Delizadee

I was terrified to speak at AA.
I finally started in detox.
After that you couldn't shut me up.
You'll never know what the waters feel like until you jump in off that cliff. It seems scary standing at the top looking down but I bet you do it once you'll want to do it over and over again.

Delizadee

I also bawled my eyes out the first time I spoke. we all need to find our voice in recovery. The isolation and silence is part of the sickness. Imo

Soberwolf

You can do this

Lightning Bug

Psyched myself up and poof. Dual speaker meeting. No time for sharing.

I will do this.

sugarbear1

Talk with people after the meeting.

Do you want to recover or not?

Lightning Bug

Salty! I actually did speak with someone and she gave me her number.