Bruno1979

Hi guys,

I hope everyone is doing well,

I'm finding it so much easier now I've got no sobriety time goals,

Before I've set myself challenges to remain sober for 30/60 days etc and I've been like a ticking time bomb waiting for my said time to elapse,

This time I've set no goals or targets and I truly do feel free,

I just needed to share,

Bruno.

ScottFromWI

Thanks for sharing Bruno, and congratulations on finding a solution that works for you.

Soberwolf

Congrats Bruno

Lightning Bug

My plan is similar. I am not counting days, I am only counting today.

Dame

Hey Bruno,
I don't daily count my days either.

But I do enjoy the 24 Hour Recovery Connection Thread. I only have to commit to the next 24 hours and, for some reason, that seems to lift a burden off my shoulders. Also, I know that every other 'signee' is on board too and lending me support.

But to each their own- absolutely. Whatever works for you is best for you.
Stay well

dwtbd

I am sober, it's nature's default setting. I guess I could say I came back to it more than got sober or that I try and get sober. I did used to get drunk and keep drinking , I had to do something in order to reach those states. I suppose acceptance that I was doing and getting and those things needed to stop in order to come back to or be sober , was something I needed to have in order to start to be comfortable with the idea of sobriety. At first , even though determined to remain sober, I was 'fighting' to get sober and stay sober, quitting is hard. But once you make the decision to quit full stop and start to live with that decision , at some point and I'm sure it varies with indviduals, but at some point you realize that you would have to get drunk , or start drinking again to 'leave' a state of sobriety. Sometimes not doing anything comes more naturally to me , hey it finally paid off
Staying quit is much easier than trying to get(back) sober, I just don't have the energy for that hell any more, well that why would I want it?!!
Rainbows and unicorns 24/7? Nope , just the real aspects of being human, the idea that continuing to drink could or would in any way be a benefit was just as fanciful a notion, only more dangerous.

IvanMike

Right on.

I do count days, but I don't have a target number other than the intent to remain clean for life.

I do actually have a target every day. - Stay clean today. This works remarkably well.

This leaves us all sorts of time to explore why we got loaded in the first place.

FarToGo

I like to congratulate myself on milestones, but the thought of not drinking ever again sometimes overwhelms me, even though I know I can't. Does not really make sense, maybe I'm also staying in the day and just not really named it.
Whatever works. I'm so glad you've found your groove and feel free.
xx

fripfrop

Me too, don't set targets I mean. I always felt I should have some reward for meeting a target...and surprise! That reward was always drink!
As my mindset is that I will never drink again, when never ever comes, I will consider a reward then.

freshstart57

Congratulations to you, Bruno. That is awesome!

For me, making that forever commitment was a tremendous relief. I never have to ask that question again, about drinking today, or ever. I never have to answer it either. There is no doubt, nor will there ever be. I made that plan about continuing to use alcohol, and I will never change it. There are too many other goals to achieve now that I have done this one. Onward!

Gottalife

My goal, once the fog had lifted, is to stay sober for good. I set that goal only once and I have not gone back on it.

A tactic I used in the early days before the program kicked in, and I could not conceive never drinking again was not drinking just for today, allowing that I may drink tomorrow but not today. It is not a sustainable tactic in the long term.

I learned about living life one day at a time. The actions I take today are what will set out my future. The goal is not to stay sober just for today, it is to live life to the best of my ability today, which is todays step towards my goal of staying sober for good.

Most effective goal setting strategies involve breaking it down into the actions we can take today, to take us towards our goal.

Not drinking is not an action, it is an inaction. Staying sober just for today is a goal just for today. A new goal must be set tomorrow. Setting a new goal every day has no certainty about it.

As the pressure comes off, it has a nasty habit of morphing into I will limit myself to two drinks. There is no room for that if my goal is permanent sobriety.

I never took a note of the date I stopped. I did not think I would be successful. I did not count the days, instead I filled the days with action on my recovery. My sponsor rang me to tell me I had 90 days up. I had no idea! All that time and hardly thinking of a drink. Working towards the goal of permanent sobriety seems to have worked better than not drinking one day at a time.

Dee74

Keep it going Bruno

D

noneever

I've had so many sobriety goals in the past. One week, two weeks, 30 days, 3 months, an entire year.
At the moment, I'm just taking it one day at a time. Anything more is either too overwhelming or if I reach say a week, then my AV whispers (shouts!), hey you made it, you CAN control this- celebrate with a drink.

chrcarlson

My only goal is today. It pops into my head that 1 year would be nice but really just not drinking today is the goal.

August252015

Disagree. I got the point about your shift and choices on one day at a time. However, not drinking is exactly an action. You do not drink. Full stop. As Yoda says, "do or do not; there is no try."

And, as far as goals, I like to celebrate the milestones- and you can bet I am picking up a chip a day the week I hit one year!!- but my goal is simple: forever. No ifs, ands, buts, or incremental goals.

It's cool what works for each of us as long as we stay sober - I do think it's important to keep learning and "shifting" what works in terms of your time goals, in order to keep going. Mine simply had to be never again, from day one. 165 days of the rest of my life down!