whopper

My father has been at it again. He is the mirror object of George's father on the show Seinfeld. You know the, the Costnanza's! My father is getting on exactly like that, like Georges' father. Hel yells the same way over and over.

OMG, I cannot even breathe. He is so crazy. The things that upset him-my not being married, my not working, no friends etc., Then it is about his moving us to the city to live close to his siblings, but they don't like us . What am I suppose to do? I feel right now that this verbal abuse is too much, I mean I cannot even think of looking for a job with this hanging over my head. Then I have to think about how I am not married etc?

I just feel like moving out right about now. I dunno how to afford it, or make it work, but its all I can think about. I don't want to spend another week here and have my father yelling at me about how I am such a loser and have nobody. I don't need to hear that. Its not my fault that my relatives don't wan't to help me to meet women or fit into this community.

REsoberALITY

Why can't you look for a job? Sounds like the perfect thing to get you away from him...... Then keep you away from him when you land that job! Your signature says "life is what you make it" I think you should go get that job and eliminate 2-3 problems at once...... Just my 2 cents. You can do it!!

KarenOskie

Hey Whopper, sorry you are having such a hard time. What is keeping you from getting a job?
Don't let your father's words get into your head and heart. You have to think good things about yourself and about your future to be able to move on. As long as you are believing what he says about you, you will continue to have a hard time.
Try talking to yourself, saying "I am not what my father says. I have had a hard time, but I have the ability to overcome, to do better, and to have a wonderful life". Keep saying it. I know it sounds silly, but it will help. Write it down and put it in your pocket to remind you.
Hugs to you, I will pray for you.

least

If my dad were acting like that, I'd be out the door looking for a job so I could move out. His verbal abuse isn't a reason for you to not look for work. If anything, that's a huge reason for looking. Just to get out of the house every day and earn money to support yourself.

SoberLife90

You can do it!

EBIII

Find a job, maybe join a local gym or something. Just get out of the house and clear your head. Don't let a negative father bring you down. I've been there with an old man like that. I couldn't even mow the lawn right.

You can do it my friend.

"Life IS what you make it"

whopper

Yea I should look for a job. I am lazy, I admit it. I had a plan to make a lot of $$ in the stock market and he talked me out of it last year. I should have made about $85,000 last last yr, but it didn't happen cause of him. I am a little bitter about it but that's how it goes I guess. Yes I need to get another job. I had a job last year and it was okay. I was actually dating a 2 women from that place, but it blew up in front of me and I lost my job there. After that I felt deflated and couldn't look for another job. I didn't even have the enthusiasm to get another job. I don't have much of a life, if I did, I think it would make a big difference,

EBIII

Start small. Don't look to change everything all at once it will become overwhelming. Don't let it. One thing at a time.

zerothehero

Make a plan. When my dad tried to kidnap me, I ran away and got my ass 500 miles from his house to my mom's. When her alcoholism made me too sad I just wouldn't go home, and not to nag (you're probably thinking we all sound like your father) but getting a job was my ticket out. I actually moved out of my mom's house while I was still in high school. No job, no money. No money, no options... I hope you find the motivation.

Berrybean

Ightfield be worth checking out CoDa meetings in your area. And AA. It'll get you out of the house, away from him, and help you to look past your father and stop judging yourself through his eyes.

Sounds like you live with him for convenience rather than any love for him. Once you get a job you can start taking responsibility for yourself by being financially self-supporting. In the meantime you don't have to stay in the house listening to him.

PS. Those little foam ear plugs can be a godsend. When my OH is drunk and being a ***** (insert expletives of choice) they make him far more bearable. ��

plantwhisperer

Hi whopper!


I can totally relate to the raging father. Mine screams at my mother, and everyone in the family and It is one of the most triggering things for me. Its violent and scary, and definitelt not condusive to a ecovery environment. I am new to recovery again but I wanted you to know that you are not alone and Im here if you need a friend. I would love to talk, and share with someone else.
Hang in there, message me anytime.
💕Emily

AnvilheadII

seems your priorities and realities are all over the place.

you do not KNOW for a fact that you would have made $XXXX in the stock market.....hardly anyone DOES make a quick buck. i don't think it is your dad's fault that your "get rich quick" scheme did not come to fruition.

you say you had a job LAST YEAR.....it's July of THIS year now, so what have you been doing for the past seven or more months? if you don't make an active work search, you won't get a job. you have to actually DO the foot work.....

almost every post mentions WOMEN somewhere.....i don't see that a woman is going to make things any better than your stock market dream or anything else. if i recall, you are at or near 40 years old.....perhaps it's time to finish growing up? you aren't chained to the radiator, you don't HAVE to live at your dad's forever.....there are solutions. you have to be willing to put in the effort.

Gonnachange

Lazy or not, use your domestic situation to give you added incentive to find a job and remove yourself from what sounds like a toxic arrangement.

As for the stock market, don't dwell on woulda, shoulda stuff. Surely learn, but bemoaning what could have been is counterproductive to your goals. As someone who has supported his family for decades via investing I can write with certainty that the only way you're going to make consistent money is by having conviction in your analysis to either buy or sell a stock.

I wish you well.

geldofc

Tell yourself he's going senile and ignore him vv

Lightning Bug

You have no control over what your father says or does. But you have control over how YOU react. Do you see where you are putting all the blame on your father when you are not doing what you need to do to fix it? You need money to get out so you need to get a job and start saving. You said you are lazy. Being lazy is going to keep you in your father's house and the cycle is going to keep going. Take control of your own life.

Dee74

How are things Whopper?
D

LadyBlue0527

Whopper, I hope that everything is ok. I have debated all day replying to your thread because this is no laughing matter. Then I really thought about it and if it brings a smile to your face even just for a moment it was worth it.

Did you ever think of walking up to your father and yelling "SERENITY NOW!"? I apologize, I couldn't resist, you brought up Seinfeld so it had to be said.

On a more serious note, parent's can be tough. Is there any way that you can get a break? Go for a walk when he starts in?

The other posts sounds spot on. What's keeping you back from getting a job?

teatreeoil007

Get a job, save up dough, and in the meantime tell to Pop to stop it!!!op it!!!!!

kinzoku

Save, work, move. There is no fighting crazy. I'm fighting to move out of my house in one of three most expensive cities in the world. I know your pain. People manage to scrape by here though, people who work harder, shittier jobs than I. McDonalds if it must be.