Golfer34

Hi all. I have recently decided to give up drinking for good. To back up abit first I will share a brief history. I am 34 and started drinking at about 14. I drank fairly heavily from 18-30. Hard liqueur was never for me but I love beer. My tolerance was disgusting. It has affected relationships in the past but seemed to help my career belive it or not. Seems as though the oil and gas industry is a lot more accepting then most. Not so much anymore but it was at least for me. I always knew I had a problem but always dismissed it. I never did drink everyday or drink to get rid of a hangover mine was mostly binge drinking. Thurs, fri, sat. It was on. I am married to a very supportive women who never really says anything about it but I know deep inside it bothers her. I am now the Proud daddy of a beautiful 9 month old little girl. I grew up in a alcoholic family and saw and endured a lot that a kid shouldn't. I always said that when and if I have kids I will never put them through it, they will never see dad drunk or drink. The way I drink is easy. If I have 1 I will have 30 there is no in I between. I have been making excuses for the last 9 months about why I'm still drinking, party's , birthdays, concerts, camping etc..... Well I keep making excuses but enough is enough however my biggest fear is this. I feel I will be boring to be around, " party's over" how do I camp without it. I guess I'm just looking for some insight from some people who may have gone through this or have .

Thanks for reading.

Dee74

Hi and welcome Golfer

I think many of us fear we will be boring sober and that most of the things we do will lose a little gloss without alcohol...

Infact I was losing gloss from my life with how much I was drinking, and my life was very boring, geared only to drinking more.

My life has never been better or more interesting since I quit in 2007 and I have never been happier
what I thought would be a loss has turned out to be a great gift - I rediscovered the real me again, a me I'd forgotten

D

notgonnastoptry

Best of luck to you. Please stop drinking now. You don't want your daughter to remember this. Believe me, I'm struggling with this right now. My oldest hates me for myriad reasons, alcohol being among the foremost. She's sees it as a moral weakness. My husband has conveyed this attitude as well and it rubs off on her. I'm always amazed when I see the stories of support, the husbands getting their wives spirt, etc. (and knowing!). My husband did not know and was still super impatient while I was in labored breathing. That's for another time.

I would say step back from the party scene. I can't see them being any fun without alcohol. I'm all for dinner with friends (even those who drink--it doesn't tempt me), but setting yourself in a party scene is not going to help.

Soberwolf

Welcome Golfer

Delilah1

Welcome to SR!!!

BarOwnersSon

Welcome Golfer34! Yes, I have gone through this, and I wish more than anything that I could turn the clock back 17 years to when I was 34, with a 9 year old and 3 year old daughter. I wish that I would have found SR then, and realized what a dead end that the drinking life is for an alcoholic. Believe me, my friend, that it doesn't get any better, and the drinking will take up more and more of you, both mentally and physically. Raising girls is challenging enough (and rewarding without measure) when you are 100% present. When you look back at your life, 17 years from now, and know that you gave that precious daughter of yours all that you had, it won't matter how much fun you were at the party or at the camping trip. You will be respected beyond measure for being a good father. I don't mean to come across as preachy. I just feel like I'm talking to the younger me. I wish you all the luck in the world.

ZamZam

Hey, I've not drunk in nearly a year and before that I went through periods of not drinking but I still love goin to to clubs and parties. I love dancing take having a good time.

You don't need to drink to have a good time!

waywardson8260

Welcome Golfer! There are a lot of great people here for any support you need. Don't worry about being boring.You may not be the life of the party anymore but you will sure feel much better in the morning.

theVman31

Hello hello.
Been there aswell.
You have to stop

Golfer34

Thank you for the reply. Does sounds like we a have a bit in common.Bar owners son. It's been a week which I know is not long. I have done a month in the past but always seem to circle back and make an excuse to get on it.

Zebra1275

Welcome to SR!

oldsoul112249

Welcome golfer..happy to have you join us!

Cherrybreeze

I had (and still have, only being 6 weeks in) the fear of being "boring," etc....I had a lot of wonders if I (or anyone else) would even like sober me. Turns out I've held onto my signature sarcasm and sparkling wit (ha!) even without booze. I'm quieter when I do go out, but that also probably more means, I'm less obnoxious when I go out.

It's definitely worth re-finding the true "you."

Golfer34

Thank you for the reply. I agree. My wit and sarcasm are still there probably better and less foggy. I know for a fact I'm a lot quieter and yes I must agree less obnoxious. All not a bad thing. Just a weekend ata time and outing at a time.

SoberLeigh

Welcome to SR, Golfer34; glad you found us.

I hope that support, encouragement and understanding you find here will help you achieve sobriety and long-lasting recovery.

emme99

Hi & Welcome Golfer

Hevyn

It's so good to meet you, Golfer. You sound more than ready to get free.

zeroptzero

There is no better time for you to stop than now. I don't dwell in the past but I was about your age when my son was born. I knew then I had a problem and that I should change my ways but I didn't. A few years later I did something while drunk that profoundly negatively impacted my son's life. I don't waste time wishing I could go back and change things, but I encourage you to make the necessary changes before something happens that you can't fix. Yes, in the beginning you will feel like you are losing something, and you will feel bored and awkward at times. However, it gets easier and better each day, and you will find that you have lost nothing but gained your life back. Please stick with it - there is no once in a while/special occasions-that is a dead end. The thought of never again can be very difficult at first. Don't worry about it, just don't drink today.