blueberry2015

Wow. 4 years I went through that. Its only just dawned on me how ill I was. That awful vicious cycle of drinking to avoid the flashbacks to numb how I felt, then in turn being crippled by anxiety and regret of drinking, tried to stop, flashbacks came back so I drank again and the cycle began all over again, whilst grieving the loss of my father. The suicidal thoughts, the self harm, drinking to oblivion, not being able to function, get dressed, look after my kids, the house, feelings of being lazy and useless, full of self loathing. It was living nightmare.

I don't think Ive given myself any credit for just how much I have overcome!

Today I am free from that hell and so so so grateful to be sober and I am going to give myself credit for coming out of all that. Wow. Just goes to show there is light at the end of a very dark tunnel,

MythOfSisyphus

We're often stronger than we realize, and we deserve more credit than we give ourselves.

sleepie

blueberry you're doing awesomely!

I know you had a hard time for a bit and got through it without drinking

You are good to give yourself credit, remind yourself of that

Soberwolf

blueberry2015

Thank you. I have to pinch myself sometimes. People have said how strong Ive been but never really acknowledged it myself. It feels amazing to be free

sweetichick

Hey Blueberry, That was a really encouraging post. It shows me all things are possible.

LadyBlue0527

Thank you for the powerful post blueberry, what a testimony to the fact that this can be done!

You're doing awesome!

entropy1964

Very cool Blueberry. Do you mind sharing what you do to manage your PTSD? Is it Acute or Chronic/complex?

Fabela

I'd like to know that too.

blueberry2015

I don't know in all fairness what type! Well quitting drinking has definitely helped with the major symptoms, plus Ive had talking therapy. I am much much better than I was, I am also on antidepressants too, which was upped when I first got sober to the correct dosage, that has really helped too. There are still things which I know I actively avoid, just to not be reminded. But I am not so jumpy or on edge anymore, I used to tremble in times of stress that hardly happens anymore. The flashbacks have faded now too. I am so much better. To be honest I cant think about the trauma too much, I deliberately push it out of my mind. Haven't had a bad flashback for almost a year now.