6 months today was my turning point
Guest
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: London
Posts: 367
6 months today was my turning point
So 6 months to this day, was the day I realized I couldn't continue as I was. I had almost 2 years sobriety under my belt previously then thought I would try to moderate. Well a week into relapse I slipped back into old ways, drinking daily, hiding booze, living a shameful life with no regard for anybody else. 6 months yesterday, I started drinking red wine at about 11am and didn't stop, until I had drank the house dry.....I even drank the Christmas dregs, brandy, sloe gin, literally anything I could get my hands on. I passed out that night , no idea how I got to bed, woke up fully dressed the next day..in a state of panic! Checked my phone for the random drunk text messages and incriminating emails so my husband wouldn't find them, little did I know he had read each and everyone and was disgusted with me but too angry to speak! I got up drove drunkingly to meet some people for a Sunday run, I could hardly focus let alone drive or run, but was so drunk still was oblivious to things going on around me, I managed to get around the run some how, but no idea how I didn't have a heart attack, palpatations had kicked in, I felt clammy, my head was throbbing my skull felt tight and I could feel my brain pulsating. I needed to get home, I needed to lie down....I felt like I wanted to die. When I got back home my husband, looked at me and said is there something I needed to tell him..
Realization had just hit me like a bus, he knows everything, he had read everything......my life has just ended....I want to die.
That was the last time I drank.....and I will never drink again.
Realization had just hit me like a bus, he knows everything, he had read everything......my life has just ended....I want to die.
That was the last time I drank.....and I will never drink again.
Guest
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: London
Posts: 367
Yes Delilah, I am experiencing lots of positives.but it's taken a while to gain trust back which has created a horribly isolated feel to my life, things are so different, not comparible to before. I have very little social life and have let go of most of my friends. I have buried myself in work and looking after my family and my health. I am not where I want to be yet, but I wake up every morning and can face myself in the mirror and I know my husband has forgiven me.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 8,704
Hi zlh, if I remember correctly when I joined this site you were sober and doing a lot of running and things were going good. I guess I didn't realize that you had relapsed. I can appreciate your honest, and it sounds like it was fairly severe (drinking the xmas booze). Very nice to hear you are at 6 months. That is great.
Guest
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: London
Posts: 367
Hi zlh, if I remember correctly when I joined this site you were sober and doing a lot of running and things were going good. I guess I didn't realize that you had relapsed. I can appreciate your honest, and it sounds like it was fairly severe (drinking the xmas booze). Very nice to hear you are at 6 months. That is great.
I was doing lots of running yes, things have changed for me in the last 6 months, I got injured after Xmas and had to have a break. It meant my social life has become zilch as running was my life. I don't run atm as I can't seem to get back to the level I was at before and have lost the drive and competitiveness I used to have.
Thanks for the post zlhzlh, you just helped me to realize that there will be a point that I can come and admit to all what's going on right now. That there will be an "after" and I will make it through this. I'd say as long as I don't pick up but that won't be an option. So that tells me that at some point I will get relief from the right now and be so grateful for that.
Guest
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: London
Posts: 367
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)