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Well I've relapsed

Old 05-20-2016, 10:10 PM
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Unhappy Well I've relapsed

...Xanax, adderall, and alcohol... and Valium a few days ago. I had my Xanax script filled and couldn't help myself. I found myself taking 1, then 1/2 by mouth to make it more effective...then I'd be about to snort one but add another 1 or 1/2 to snort cuz why not? Next thing you know I'm almost out, and it's been a week. I'm on anti-seizure medication as it is. I just need to slowly reduce my intake over the next couple of days...pray for me.

Can anyone relate? Not to mention, I've never felt so lonely in my life. I know this will pass, but I have a sad feeling and I don't really know why.
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Old 05-20-2016, 10:33 PM
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Just coming back to this site after an alcohol relapse. I know that pills have a worse withdrawal, I hope things go well for you. Relapsing just ups anxiety and depression's games times a thousand. No words of wisdom, just wanted to say the cycle of addiction is hard to break. It takes too much out of you. I don't know about you, but a relapse is just a reminder of how joyless use and abuse is for me now. I want sobriety more now, but sure took a lot of falls to finally wake up. Good luck.
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Old 05-20-2016, 10:39 PM
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Addiction tends to make us even more isolated and makes relating to others difficult .
I hope you reach out and build some face to face connections too beach kid , that might help ?

Bestwishes, m
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Old 05-20-2016, 10:45 PM
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I can certainly relate to 'doing ok' moderation wise and then going back to worse than my previous worst.

do you have any support apart from us?

If you find yourself in trouble, please do go and see your dr or your local hospital.
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Old 05-20-2016, 11:01 PM
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Hi Beachkid You are in my prayers. I can relate to the alcohol, and if I had been prescribed Xanax, I am sure that as well. I am glad you are here.
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Old 05-20-2016, 11:03 PM
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I can totally relate. Been there. I went to rehab. I couldn't have done it on my own. Nowadays I go to meetings. You can do it too.
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Old 05-21-2016, 06:53 AM
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I'm sorry you relapsed. I'm kind of a broken record on this one but benzos are so dangerous for most alcoholics. The combination with alcohol absolutely can kill you dead. I tried to kill myself in 2007 (first PTSD attack) with alcohol and benzos. They had to resuscitate me 3 times. So I almost succeeded. If you want to be sober you will have to be strong enough to refuse benzos. The dr that is prescribing...does he/she know you're an addict? If they do, find a new dr. Good luck.
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Old 05-21-2016, 07:04 AM
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Not the judge yet again!

Originally Posted by Beachkid View Post

Can anyone relate?
You remind me of me.

Years ago I was a couple of weeks short of getting my 3 year sober token in AA. I went to get my Valium prescription filled and in short time I was taking more than prescribed and mixing them with booze. I was like -- dang what hit me -- then I crashed our motor home into a commercial building.

Back to sober day one with a mad wife, mad neighbors, disappointed family and not looking forward to seeing the judge yet again.

MB
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Old 05-21-2016, 07:55 AM
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Beachkid, you do know that's a dangerous combination of prescription drugs and then mixing alcohol....can kill you, right? I'm praying for you. Take it easy on yourself.
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Old 05-21-2016, 08:19 AM
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Do check with your dr if you feel concerned about your withdrawals. Is there something you can do differently this time to help avoid a relapse? I'm glad you're back and posting.
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Old 05-21-2016, 08:40 AM
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I can relate....

Sure am glad I made it out alive.

Hope you door, too.

Sobriety has been a gazillion times better.
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Old 05-21-2016, 08:57 AM
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I would consider more drastic measures, such as an inpatient rehab program. Good luck friend!
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Old 05-21-2016, 10:16 AM
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Hey BeachKid,

I take Xanax on a rare occasion for anxiety, I have been fortunate not to let it get to me. Your feelings of loneliness are probably just that--feelings(drug induced). You're not alone, many people on here and in the world are going what you are going through right now.

A person who is prescribed medications like Xanax needs to learn to appreciate and respect the power they hold. I know this may come off harsh but I don't think you appreciate and respect them at all by abusing them the way you have and even going as far to snort them. They are meant to alleviate anxiety as needed. I never understood anyone's reason for wanting to take Xanax to get high since the end result is always drowsiness and falling a sleep within a few hours of taking one for me.

Don't beat yourself up over this, however. You need to learn from this and abstain from filling and taking these sort of medications that you know you have a high potential to abuse. If you live with someone else who is not an addict maybe you should entrust your medication with them so that it can serve as a check of you not abusing them, someone who will make you follow the directives of that particular medication.

I am going to pray for you and I certainly wish you the best and want to see you well. Do yourself a favor though, if you start experiencing withdrawals you are likely going to need to visit the ER. Benzodizepine withdrawals are no laughing matter.
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Old 05-21-2016, 10:24 AM
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Sticking to a plan because you know a dead end road is a dead end road
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