lovetolisten

Been reading in this forum at least 4 times a week for 5 months. Today's posts struck me with this idea more than usual - of all the SR members, with all their years of experience, from all around the world, of all ages and histories - there isn't a soul who has had "luck" moderating or giving alcohol another try. It has universally been a failure - 100% of the time. I hope I can learn from this and internalize the fact I am not any different. There's not a 70, 90, or even 95% chance of continuing to have problems if you are an alcoholic who keeps drinking. It seems to be a scientific, 100% guarantee that you will go downhil. That's powerful when you think about it

tomsteve

alcohol is an equal oppertunity destroyer for anyone anywhere for sure.

Mountainmanbob

If one is a (true) alcoholic that for sure seems to be the case.

For me liquor had ceased to be a luxury and became a necessity.

I believe that at that point in time I was alcoholic.

There would never again be a comfortable drink out there for me.

MB

AdelineRose

Yup you definitely nailed this one on the head.

Once you cross over the line of normal drinker to alcoholic there is no turning back. Just like once I started getting horrible W/D from heroin I finally had to admit to myself that if I wanted to have a true life I could never touch it again. There is no "only on the weekends" for any of us that have already crossed that line into addiction.

The good news is once you learn that you do not need a substance to have a happy and successful life then we can progress in our recovery and come out the other end a stronger person. We can all have happiness and joy in our lives, as long as we are honest with ourselves and know we can never touch our DOC ever again.

Para

That dangerous thought of 'I can moderate my drinking' - I hate it. It has always got me in trouble.
With my last binge two weeks ago, it took me literally a week to feel better. The first day after drinking: I was throwing up, shaking, my mouth and body wanted hydration, but everytime I drank water or gatorade or juice, I couldn't stomach it.
2-7 days after - I felt like I had a fire in my stomach, felt nauseas, body ached, hot flashes, it was so bad.
And I was surprised because with my last binge drinking -I would vary rarely throw up, i'd just be tired and anxious, but would jump back to being physically healthy.

That last (I really really really hope it is) was a different one. I drank to excess when I only planned to have two drinks, and the detoxification was the most painful and uncomfortable ever.

At this moment - I actually don't want to drink, and the thought of moderating in the future is not even on my mind. The alcoholic voice can pop up anytime I know. But right now - i'm good without!

sugarbear1

and yet, as a certified hard head, I have to learn this one by doing it......like trying to fit a square peg in a round hole, I HAVE to keep trying and trying.....

ok, I tried and tried for many years to moderate.

Today, I am working on 5 years of sobriety from alcohol and drugs. This can be done!!

2muchpain

And yet, after having some decent amount of sober time and doing pretty good, and knowing the horrors of what happens if I drink again; the thought of drinking still crosses my mind every now and than. It makes absolutely no sense. It's just nuts. John

least

I tried to drink "normally" but that's not what I really wanted. I drank to get drunk, to get numb and not feel. Just drinking one or two didn't cut it for me. I had to accept that I was better off not drinking at all.

And over six years later, I don't regret a minute of it.

resolute50

I'm happy I gave up trying to moderate.
Going to be 3 years this summer since then.

entropy1964

Well I can't speak for everyone but that has certainly been my experience.

Delilah1

It was true for me. Moderating was too much work, I would obsess over how much I could/couldn't drink, and still gradually ended up right back to where I was when I decided to start moderating.

Time2Rise

Well, to be fair, the sample is biased. Anyone suffering from Alcohol Use Disorder (AUD) who managed to once again moderate and control their drinking (and I believe such people do exist) wouldn't come back and post here (actually, I believe someone did, but I can't remember his username, and IIRC, the lengths he went to in order to moderate were pretty daunting, and I don't know if his controlled drinking lasted).

I prefer to look at this issue in terms of probability rather than possibility. Many things are possible, including a return to controlled drinking; however, IMO the probability of a person with a serious drinking problem returning to moderate drinking is very, very low.

In other words, the rational and smart option is to just give alcohol up for good--if you do that, you're really controlling your drinking

ALinNS

For years I have dreamed/wished people could somehow be transferred the really tough learning lesson I had to go through about this sickness so that it could save them and people around them a lot of heartache but as with anything in life learning takes time.

I tried moderation many times over the years but always picked up where I left off, it's a very common post here on the forum and a stark reminder to me as people come back to never go there again.

Andrew

LadyBlue0527

I am now on my 4th and FINAL attempt at total abstinence from alcohol. Each time I went back out I got away with it for a while. Each time the bottom that I hit was far worse than the last. I convinced myself every time that I had a learned a lesson and this time would be different.

Well, this time, once I get through what I'm facing, I'm going to be a complete financial wreck and facing possible jail time. I deserve everything I have coming to me.

Don't think it won't get worse, it will, it's just a matter of time. Fully guaranteed.

MIRecovery

Yup, Once the alcoholism threshold has been crossed you have two choices. Complete abstinence or accept the fact that alcohol will kill you one way or another but not before you have given away everything you love and cherrish

Hawkeye13

Yep, I also did great with sobriety until the moderation idea crept in.

Not going there again either

Aellyce

Yes the consequences of picking up the drink are highly predictable. The only way I managed to "moderate" my drinking (once I was hooked) were a very few occasions when I bought limited amount, not enough to knock me out in the end, and there was absolutely no source of more alcohol. I would tend to do shameful things I would never do sober to get more though: go out to the other side of town in the middle of the night to find a liquor store open 24/7 or steal from other people's booze. And the few times when I had zero chance to find more were some of the most miserable experiences as having a few drinks in me typically sets out a giant monster craving that truly feels insane with the lowered inhibitions by the amount I already consumed. Not pretty and never leads to anything else but regrets and destruction.

I relapsed earlier this year after >2 years sober and, in a way, it was amazing how immediately I was back drinking the way I did at my worst. There was no gradual progression like I could have a drink or two here and there and I never wanted to have just a couple drinks, I wanted to get wasted. I don't see any "value" whatsoever in having a couple drinks or a mild buzz.

thomas11

I had no desire to moderate. All in, all the time.

2ndhandrose

Ditto for me. I had absolutely no interest in 1 or 2 drinks. It was 10 or 20 drinks or nothing for me.

Normal drinkers don't entertain the idea of moderation, they just do it without having to restrain themselves from more than they planned.

thomas11

God. What's wrong with us? Its not funny but it your post made me chuckle.