Trying to say sorry
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2016
Location: Hampton NH
Posts: 3
Trying to say sorry
I read a post from someone saying "will they ever say I'm sorry?".
I can't tell you how I've tried to find the right words but to no avail.
I recently heard the following which is helping me.
"The best apology is a change in your behavior."
I can't tell you how I've tried to find the right words but to no avail.
I recently heard the following which is helping me.
"The best apology is a change in your behavior."
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Welcome to SR frmrbellhead. Tha'ts a great observation, and I think it's very true in relation to sobriety. Words/apologies are much less effective than actually staying sober. Our actions speak volumes!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2016
Posts: 982
Very true!!! I've said I am sorry a MILLION times. And I DID mean it! But once I went back to the very behavior that I was sorry for the meaning that I really did feel went out the window for the person whom I said it too.
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Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Canada
Posts: 7,837
Originally Posted by FarToGo 
Um....... you're all right, a behavior change is big and meaningful.
For me, living with a guy who's never said sorry for anything in 10 years, the word would have meant something too.
xx
For me, living with a guy who's never said sorry for anything in 10 years, the word would have meant something too.
xx
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,456
Welcome to SR frmerbellhead 
I think what folks are getting at FarToGo is that anyone can say sorry - I made many apologies for 20 years - I meant them at the time - but I kept on drinking.
When I finally walked the walk I think it meant more?
D
I think what folks are getting at FarToGo is that anyone can say sorry - I made many apologies for 20 years - I meant them at the time - but I kept on drinking.
When I finally walked the walk I think it meant more?
D
Guest
Join Date: May 2014
Posts: 89
You know who I've never said sorry to?
Myself. I've never said sorry for continuing to hurt myself the way I do, for not giving myself a chance to shine, and for neglecting myself.
I'm very angry at myself, and I think it'll take a long time to forgive me.
But I might start with sorry.
Myself. I've never said sorry for continuing to hurt myself the way I do, for not giving myself a chance to shine, and for neglecting myself.
I'm very angry at myself, and I think it'll take a long time to forgive me.
But I might start with sorry.
Member
Join Date: May 2015
Location: UK
Posts: 1,042
Originally Posted by SuperMario
You know who I've never said sorry to?
Myself. I've never said sorry for continuing to hurt myself the way I do, for not giving myself a chance to shine, and for neglecting myself.
I'm very angry at myself, and I think it'll take a long time to forgive me.
But I might start with sorry.
Myself. I've never said sorry for continuing to hurt myself the way I do, for not giving myself a chance to shine, and for neglecting myself.
I'm very angry at myself, and I think it'll take a long time to forgive me.
But I might start with sorry.
This is really nice, and wise.
xx
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Lakeside, Ca
Posts: 10,208
Interesting
I heard in a meeting once that the best way to say I love you
is to say nothing at all.
This makes sense to me although hard to explain.
Sometimes best to just keep my mouth shut.
In early sobriety I wanted to say I was sorry to everyone and get on with life.
Probably takes some time before they really wish to hear those words from me?
Seems that drunks want it all and want it all right now.
From time to time I still suffer from this.
Progress in sobriety not perfection.
Being grateful is important -- thank God for progress.
Bob
I heard in a meeting once that the best way to say I love you
is to say nothing at all.
This makes sense to me although hard to explain.
Sometimes best to just keep my mouth shut.
In early sobriety I wanted to say I was sorry to everyone and get on with life.
Probably takes some time before they really wish to hear those words from me?
Seems that drunks want it all and want it all right now.
From time to time I still suffer from this.
Progress in sobriety not perfection.
Being grateful is important -- thank God for progress.
Bob
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
Originally Posted by frmerbellhead
I read a post from someone saying "will they ever say I'm sorry?".
I can't tell you how I've tried to find the right words but to no avail.
I recently heard the following which is helping me.
"The best apology is a change in your behavior."
I can't tell you how I've tried to find the right words but to no avail.
I recently heard the following which is helping me.
"The best apology is a change in your behavior."
At some point - especially when it's about addicts / alcoholics - "sorry" is just a bunch of empty words.
If we are truly 'sorry' then our amends become our apology. Our 'sorry' is evident in the changes we make in our lives. Our sincerity is seen in our behavior.
Only then will the words "I'm sorry" take on real depth of meaning for those we've hurt.
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