neversane

I've considered this very seriously. Yesterday, I was freaking out badly enough that I was even considering inpatient. I picked up the phone to call, but hung up when someone was on the line. Today, I looked up meetings in my area, but ended up staying in bed all day again.

At the moment, staying sober is the most important thing to me. I have to do something soon to ensure this continues, before my brain tricks me into thinking I'm a normal person again. That's what happens.. I forget all the bad. I'll forget all the misery I've put myself through, and all the wreckage I've caused. It must be inevitable for anyone like me without a program.

Tomorrow I have one more day to rest before I go back to work, where there will be stress and.. alcohol. There's alcohol in the office, drinking during lunches and at the end of the day. Beer in the fridge and liquor in the cabinet. Never have a faced such a challenge. It seems to be an integral part of the office. Everyone drinks, and I don't know how to become the only sober one.

Dee74

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