Lonelywombat67

I'm wrapped in a blanket on the couch breathing with my CPAP mask on. I have severe sleep apnea that was discovered last summer. The mask forces my breathing to be normal when I'm anxious. I wish I had a supportive warm body in my life right now. I'm too alone in this. Early mornings are a time I used to love. Sleep apnea can cause anxiety in itself. I'm trying to love myself but I'm not being successful.

Nowsthetime

Remember it's going to pass! What's going on?

Venecia

It's not unusual to feel a wide range of emotions early in sobriety, and to find them troubling. They pass.

Can you introduce something new into your life? Is there something you've always wanted to try, a hobby or pastime that interests you? This is a good time to start building new sensations, new patterns.

Take care. It gets better.

Venecia

One of our members occasionally posts messages from the Brave Girls Club.

They have a daily email, to which I subscribe, that is quite uplifting. Sounds like something you might want to check out!

Brave Girls Club - Life-Changing Fun for Women

Lonelywombat67

I'm shaming myself and feeling guilty. My closest friends are far away. My ex-work friends aren't close. I rescheduled a dentist appointment I quite needed because I can't face the world. I've got lots of hobbies and like to make things but can't concentrate on anything even my trashy reading. I wish I could sleep for a week but not possible. The weird thing is, before I knew I had sleep apnea, I could spend a lot of time sleeping except that none of it was good sleep because I'd stop breathing up to 50 times an hour(!) I chowed down a huge bag of popcorn last night from anxiety and now I'll have digestive issues. I'm obsessively going over my blood tests from last June when I had surgery. The liver function tests look normal but albumin was very low. I guess it can be caused by trauma but it also can be caused by liver damage. My doctor signed off on all my tests though without remarking on it. I'm just a big ball of worry, hopeless and craving love.

Fabela

Could you get a cat? That's a great friend to have, someone warm and fuzzy, another heartbeat in the house. Go to a shelter and find one that loves cuddling, and you have a friend for life. Plus, you help each other, and that's the best thing. <3

Lonelywombat67

I miss my dog. He's gone away over the rainbow bridge.

Here's a joke I just remembered.

A duck walks into a bar, approaches the counter and orders a sandwich. He says to the bartender, “Listen, I’m a bricklayer on the construction site nearby. The work will last for some time and I’ll be coming here every day around lunchtime for a sandwich. How about a discount?”

The bartender, shocked as he has never encountered a talking duck before, agrees to give the duck a small discount for his daily sandwiches.

The duck takes his sandwich, pays, thanks the bartender and goes out.

The bartender immediately calls his friend who owns a circus:

“Listen, there’s a talking duck coming to my bar. Come tomorrow around lunchtime, you gotta see this for yourself!”‘

So the next day the circus owner waits in the bar. Sure enough, the duck goes in, jumps on the barstool and orders a sandwich.

The circus manager overcomes his awe and says:

“Hello sir, I’m a circus owner and I want to offer you a job. I can give you whatever money you want, plus a company car, a cell phone, best hotels. Really, whatever you want!”

The duck considers his offer for a moment and says:

“So you’re a circus owner, right?”

“Right.”

“And your circus is one of those big tents, right?”

“Right.”

“With a sandy arena in the middle?”

“Yes.”

“And with rows of seats around?”

“Of course.”

“So what the heck do you need a bricklayer for?”

entropy1964

It sounds like you're having obsessive thinking....a huge part of early withdrawal/abstinence for me. I will just obsess and obsess on a thought....its crazy making. For me, movement helps. Light exercise, walking, house work, yard work. It will pass.

I suggest calling your dr to go over your labs in more detail. Maybe get new blood work just to ease your mind.

Anna

Try to remember that your thoughts are just thoughts and they don't control you. Have you tried meditation or Mindfulness? Mindfulness can help you to live in the moment, rather than focusing on the past or the future.

I hope you feel better soon.

bemyself

Yes! I absolutely second Anna's motion about mindfulness meditation - it saves my life, over and over again.

And it's free, you don't have to go anywhere, no equipment required - just sit (or lie down, as I do) and breathe, watch thoughts just come...and go....distracted? return to the breath. Rinse and repeat.

Marvellous for anxiety especially. It literally quiets the body-mind, but you have to stick with it, not give up after 5 or 10 minutes. Heaps of mindfulness guided meditations on the net if you think that'd help.