soberclover

I am very sad today. Very sad. My daughter and the grandchildren are moving south today. A wonderful employment opportunity and awesome life opportunities for them all and for that I am excited and grateful for. I've never done loss well as I usually drank through it and never accepted it. Today is different as I don't drink any more and can't do that.

I have to feel the realities of this and not try to escape it. If I don't do this, I put my sobriety at risk. I will cry. A lot. And that is ok. Crying doesn't kill me. Drinking will. And I will say not good bye this afternoon but rather "see you later".

ALinNS

As a single parent my heart goes out to you as I have been through this, My daughter has a great career on the other side of the country while my son's career is in the centre of the country.

The empty nest syndrome

Della1968

I am sorry

Anna

And, believe in your heart that you will see them soon. Make a plan for visit and imagine them showing you around their new home. I really understand. I have one child living near and the other is thousands of miles away. We use iChat and have a weekly specified time for our 'visits'. It helps. You can deal with this with lots of tears but no alcohol.

Mountainmanbob

You remind me of me.
Lose my first wife in a car accident -- I got drunk for many years.
Thank God we don't escape like that anymore.
I have found that when we stand up to these hard events and stay sober
we come through even stronger than before.
We have matured in sobriety.
And are very grateful for that.

Bob

Jillian2563

If I ever slip up and say bye to my cousin, she always yells, "this ain't goodbye! I'll see ya later!"

ItWillBeWorthIt

It is difficult when loved ones leave.

Remember, you can always set up SKYPE calls, social media message or sharing of pictures helps as well.

I don't know if you fly, but if you do, you can think of when you will visit them.. place flights seem to have gone down in price, especially if you book in advance.

I was devastated when my son left for university, but over the days, weeks it was fine. I stayed the course didn't pick up and we skyped, message all the time, she sent me pictures of his apartment, university, etc. Just like I was there with him.

She has been home a few times since.

You will get through this... it takes the time to get through the emotional roller coaster.

Take very good care of yourself.

ScottFromWI

People leaving is hard...but what a wonderful opportunity for her. Today's technology allows us to visit each other virtually much more easily than ever as well. And I'm sure you'll be making visits too!

Crying is good for us when things hurt...and sharing is good too, glad you came here to tell us. And hope your day ends up being OK!

Soberwolf

Dee74

I'm sorry soberclover but don't forget you have support - and friends - here

D

soberclover

Thank you everyone for the support; it does mean a lot.

I was able to spend time with my daughter and her family as the last of things were packed up. Pictures were taken, hugs and kisses given, and teary goodbyes happened. I have been a wave of emotions and I can't remember the last time I have cried so much. It is good. And I am sober and feeling this. It hurts. A lot. And in time I will be ok. And I will not drink; no matter what.

Thank you again

Hevyn

Soberclover, I'm sorry for the pain you're feeling over the move. I'm proud of you for not giving in & trying to numb yourself. As we have learned, it ends up backfiring. We think we're helping ourselves to cope - but just the opposite is true. Stifling our feelings is unhealthy & damaging. Glad you posted and stayed sober.

Delilah1

Soberclover,

I am sorry you are feeling so sad. I moved across the country when I was 28, and I know how difficult it was for my mom. We still live 3000 miles away, but we talk every day, and the kids and I go back to visit once a year (I wish it was more often.)

As difficult as it is living far away she knows that I am happily married, have a job I love (99% of the time) and that her grandkids are happy and doing well.

You can sense how proud you are of your daughter in your post, and that you are happy for her and your grandchildren even though it is hard for you.

Sending lots of love your way tonight, and I look forward to hearing about trips you make to visit her in the future.

❤️ Delilah

fantail

This makes my heart ache. I've spent a lot of time living far away and now that I'm close to home again I know my mother hates when I talk about maybe moving again. It's so hard to balance careers and family.