How to stay sober if your out with friends who drink
Do your best
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 67,047
How to stay sober if your out with friends who drink
Do your best
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 67,047
I get that Mir but some people go out with friends who drink and are not alcoholic i'm not advising to hang out with old drinking buddies old behaviors etc im helping any alcoholic that has friends who drink but don't have a problem
plus I hope it helps those who are going to a gathering, a reunion, a wedding, any situation where alcohol may be present
Normal people will drink regardless this is just to help an alcoholic who will properly face a situation like this sometime in thier lives
plus I hope it helps those who are going to a gathering, a reunion, a wedding, any situation where alcohol may be present
Normal people will drink regardless this is just to help an alcoholic who will properly face a situation like this sometime in thier lives
That bell or bike person
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: london
Posts: 4,978
5 )
Always make sure you have a plan that relies on no-one else to get out of there . you do the driving , you don't hang round giving drunks a lift , If temptation calls get out of its way .
6)
question yourself why your going somewhere like that in the first place , there is no good reason for an alcoholic to go to bar , no one will die by you not attending and bowing out .
play it safe especially in the early days , my sobriety was hard won , the hardest fight of my life and i won't play fast and loose with it .
job promotions , having a social life the addiction likes to try all of these things out to tell us lies that we won't get on without alcohol ,
tries to make us make out that something is more important than sobriety … That way inebriation and dissolution lay .
4 1/2 years sober says all that is guff and that being sober hasn't effected my career or friendships in any way other than in a positive way , sometimes that means growing away from the safety of drunks and users
Bestwishes, m
Always make sure you have a plan that relies on no-one else to get out of there . you do the driving , you don't hang round giving drunks a lift , If temptation calls get out of its way .
6)
question yourself why your going somewhere like that in the first place , there is no good reason for an alcoholic to go to bar , no one will die by you not attending and bowing out .
play it safe especially in the early days , my sobriety was hard won , the hardest fight of my life and i won't play fast and loose with it .
job promotions , having a social life the addiction likes to try all of these things out to tell us lies that we won't get on without alcohol ,
tries to make us make out that something is more important than sobriety … That way inebriation and dissolution lay .
4 1/2 years sober says all that is guff and that being sober hasn't effected my career or friendships in any way other than in a positive way , sometimes that means growing away from the safety of drunks and users
Bestwishes, m
Behold the power of NO
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: WA
Posts: 7,764
This is a good article Wolfie.
Another thing is to be really honest about where we are at with ourselves and be aware and mindful.
For example, I don't go to bars or events where the sole purpose is to get loaded but generally speaking people drinking socially does not bother me.
I had committed myself to help at an auction fundraiser for the homeless last Friday which was being held at the VFW and where alcohol would be served.
I have had quite a bit of stress lately and also have been overworked and tired so I knew it could be a potential problem.
What I did is that I took with me one of my very few friends who knows I am a sober alcoholic and who is older. It gave me the perfect excuse to leave early if I was tempted and also an accountability partner: someone who would know if I drank.
Anyway, things worked out great: we raised money and I was not tempted to drink at all but I had been, I had a solid plan in place.
Also if that event had not been for a cause close to my heart and if I had not given my word to help, I would definitely have stayed home even at 3 plus year sober since I did not feel I was in the best of places mentally that day.
Another thing is to be really honest about where we are at with ourselves and be aware and mindful.
For example, I don't go to bars or events where the sole purpose is to get loaded but generally speaking people drinking socially does not bother me.
I had committed myself to help at an auction fundraiser for the homeless last Friday which was being held at the VFW and where alcohol would be served.
I have had quite a bit of stress lately and also have been overworked and tired so I knew it could be a potential problem.
What I did is that I took with me one of my very few friends who knows I am a sober alcoholic and who is older. It gave me the perfect excuse to leave early if I was tempted and also an accountability partner: someone who would know if I drank.
Anyway, things worked out great: we raised money and I was not tempted to drink at all but I had been, I had a solid plan in place.
Also if that event had not been for a cause close to my heart and if I had not given my word to help, I would definitely have stayed home even at 3 plus year sober since I did not feel I was in the best of places mentally that day.
waking down
Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 4,641
I only go out with friends who drink if we're seeing live music or having dinner. I no longer go out with friends who drink without some other reason for the gathering. The bottom line is I'm no longer interested in hanging out in a bar even with friends. I invite them to other venues or activities like taking a walk or playing music together or coming over for dinner or a movie... As long as drinking isn't the main focus of the evening, I don't care if they drink. I just don't "go out for drinks."
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Georgia
Posts: 3,062
Having an exit plan is very important to me. Going to an event where I know there will be a lot of drinking is just not an invitation I generally accept. I didn't go to my daughter's going away party as I know the wine would be f.l.o.w.i.n.g. It isn't a place for me to be. She understood. People who get me understand. I, too, don't ever "go out for drinks". I suggest breakfast or coffee whenever possible.
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
I personally found that I CAN certainly be around drinking, I also found the need to "prove" to myself that I could earlier in sobriety. But what I really learned is that I simply do not WANT to be around it anymore. When I was drinking I didn't notice how obnoxious, loud I and the other people around me were. So while it's certainly possible to hang out with these people, it's not enjoyable at all. And it's 100% avoidable...there's actually more people NOT drinking than people who are drinking at any given moment from what I've found.
Behold the power of NO
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: WA
Posts: 7,764
I think there is Drinking and drinking.
I do not hang out in bars and I never had much patience for drunken fools (even when I was drinking).
While many people don't drink, many people will also have the occasional glass of wine with a good meal.
The majority of my friends are not alcoholics and (that's me) I have no problem with having dinners or going to a restaurant with a friend who might (or might not) order wine or a beer. I know some people who socialize only within the "people in recovery" bubble, and that's great for them. It is not just for me.
Since I was a closet drunk and there was absolutely nothing social about my drinking, I did not see any need for dropping my friends just because I quit drinking (with the exception of one friend I dropped when he started smoking crack but I probably would have also dropped him even if I was still drinking.).
I value my sobriety and I am pro active about it but I also try to lead a normal life.
I do not hang out in bars and I never had much patience for drunken fools (even when I was drinking).
While many people don't drink, many people will also have the occasional glass of wine with a good meal.
The majority of my friends are not alcoholics and (that's me) I have no problem with having dinners or going to a restaurant with a friend who might (or might not) order wine or a beer. I know some people who socialize only within the "people in recovery" bubble, and that's great for them. It is not just for me.
Since I was a closet drunk and there was absolutely nothing social about my drinking, I did not see any need for dropping my friends just because I quit drinking (with the exception of one friend I dropped when he started smoking crack but I probably would have also dropped him even if I was still drinking.).
I value my sobriety and I am pro active about it but I also try to lead a normal life.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: Hill Country, Texas
Posts: 228
Great thread and timing for me SW. I have a huge family wedding tomorrow night and the live music and booze will be flowing. I have several non drinkers in the family and i will definitely be hanging with them. Went to a service club gala a couple of weeks ago and it was held at brewery which was having its grand opening. Had a brief urge but it passed once i found the coffee. I will post late Sunday with news of continued sobriety. Good ole accountability post couldn't hurt.....
A Day at a Time
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Grand Rapids MI
Posts: 6,435
I agree there is drinking and there is drinking. I go out to dinner a lot. Friends and family will have a glass of wine or a beer. To me that is not drinking. Maybe in the beginning it was but not anymore.
I do go to one event a year where there is a lot of drinking. Nobody is an alcoholic but when they get together the alcohol flows. I really like these people and enjoy the party for a while. When I go I always bring a normal drinking friend and drive separately. When I start feeling uncomfortable I just say my goodbyes and leave.
I go to events I enjoy. If I'm not having a good time there is no point in staying
I do go to one event a year where there is a lot of drinking. Nobody is an alcoholic but when they get together the alcohol flows. I really like these people and enjoy the party for a while. When I go I always bring a normal drinking friend and drive separately. When I start feeling uncomfortable I just say my goodbyes and leave.
I go to events I enjoy. If I'm not having a good time there is no point in staying
Guest
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: London
Posts: 367
I've just got in from a night out with colleagues and all of them drank bar me.....it was a fab night and the reason was we did something other than sit and drink. We had a meal, then did Salsa and I didn't notice them drinking and they weren't bothered by me not drinking. No pressure Cus I have always been known as the non drinker. I am so glad that I can still go out and have fun with them . I know they like me going out too !
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