Messed up everything......
Member
Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: Abroad
Posts: 1,865
Originally Posted by life1681 
Thank you sweetie, I really feel this is going to be wonderful for me...
You can do it! Because you're worth it.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 4,251
Hi and welcome to you! It sounds like you made an incredibly important decision for yourself and your family. Even if the kids are away, when they come how now they will find the happy, healthy mom the remember. This work on yourself will also put you in better stop to start to repair things with your husband. Is rehab an option for you? I realise you have already gone through the detox phase, but maybe just 28 days away to succumb to complete care and find some quiet time to relax and get yourself completely clean?
If you need any pointers for help available in the Richmond, Virginia area let me know via PM.
If you need any pointers for help available in the Richmond, Virginia area let me know via PM.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2015
Posts: 27
Originally Posted by Soberween
Hi I'm a Virginian too and my story is very similar to yours. Never had a drinking problem when the kids were little, but as they became more independent and no longer needed me and eventually moved out and my nest was empty, my drinking escalated dramatically. I would quit drinking on my own through sheer willpower and I would be white knuckling it for years at a time and then would relapse, quit again, rinse, repeat. I finally found a women's AA closed meeting and once I started working the program, the miracle of contented sobriety slowly emerged. I've now been sober for several years and am happier than I have ever been. I have no desire to drink ever again. When I was doing it on my own without working a program of recovery and the help of others who have the same disease, I would say to myself "okay, only 30 more years of this non-drinking **** and then I die." It does not have to be that way. Make a recovery plan. It doesn't have to be AA. There are many other non-secular programs that have helped millions of people. By trial and error, you will find out what works for you. Early recovery is very daunting, but it gets better and better with every passing day. Waking up feeling great never gets old. I truly thought I'd never have fun again once I knew I had to quit drinking, but I love life now. I was totally enslaved to that bottle of wine and it was no fun whatsoever. Keep coming here and feel free to PM if you need someone to talk to that understands. Good luck!
Reality...what a concept!
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: CT, USA
Posts: 1,232
Welcome B! Another empty nester here and understand what you are going through. Also had no issues with drinking as long as the kids needed me, but once they were independent, sort of felt like it didn't matter if I was "all there" anymore.
Now I know I was wrong. Our kids will always need us even when it does not seem like they do. You are doing a great thing for them by considering your health first.
Definitely check out an AA meeting. I am completely secular but find the fellowship to be so helpful. Take from it what helps you.
Good for you on 8 days and many more to come 💪
Now I know I was wrong. Our kids will always need us even when it does not seem like they do. You are doing a great thing for them by considering your health first.
Definitely check out an AA meeting. I am completely secular but find the fellowship to be so helpful. Take from it what helps you.
Good for you on 8 days and many more to come 💪
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
Welcome. Congratulations on choosing sobriety and on day 7!!!
Good news!!! All of the stories of 'messed everything up' are behind you. Ahead lies a life of 'lived fully, deeply, with presence, joy and honor'.
Life is Good, past is past, and you have chosen well!! Keep it up!
Good news!!! All of the stories of 'messed everything up' are behind you. Ahead lies a life of 'lived fully, deeply, with presence, joy and honor'.
Life is Good, past is past, and you have chosen well!! Keep it up!
Blue Belt
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Soberville, USA
Posts: 4,174
Hi Life,
You probably know this, but now that you are just about done w detox, you have to make a new sober life or you will be miserable and may relapse.
I experienced physical symptoms and weakness for about a month.
The anxiety hung on for several months, and is just these last few months getting so much better. Yours may be better...same...or worse. We r all diff.
So...a sobe plan from dawn till dusk. Mine goes like this sort of...
Get up, clean up, get vitamins and eat, go to work, work out, tv, gadgets, chores, bills etc, sleep.
When I crave, I know it will pass. My big trigger is around 4 to 6 pm. That is when I used to get drunk. It is a strong crave, but I usually eat dinner and it passes. I also now work out at that time.
Stay clean. Alcohol is poison. Don't believe the hype.
You probably know this, but now that you are just about done w detox, you have to make a new sober life or you will be miserable and may relapse.
I experienced physical symptoms and weakness for about a month.
The anxiety hung on for several months, and is just these last few months getting so much better. Yours may be better...same...or worse. We r all diff.
So...a sobe plan from dawn till dusk. Mine goes like this sort of...
Get up, clean up, get vitamins and eat, go to work, work out, tv, gadgets, chores, bills etc, sleep.
When I crave, I know it will pass. My big trigger is around 4 to 6 pm. That is when I used to get drunk. It is a strong crave, but I usually eat dinner and it passes. I also now work out at that time.
Stay clean. Alcohol is poison. Don't believe the hype.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2015
Posts: 74
Hi, life! sounds like you are on a good track- but, you need some help & support! you can easily google AA meetings where you live- or nearby, if you don't want to go locally. there are many other ways to go, also- if you don't like AA! there are links here on this site for other avenues of assistance- whatever you might need! but, you do need help, support, love, & caring! going it alone is not the best way- we need guidance! do you have any hobbies- to keep yourself busy & feeling productive? take care- be well- stay sober- keep coming back here! you will find tons of support here- from many who have loads of good advice! 
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2016
Location: richmond, Virginia
Posts: 84
I have not heard of AVRT, what is it? And I will do that search also, today is day 8, I am of from work and the house is quiet, this is where I would get in trouble and find myself with my dear freind....... NOT ....... the bottle, but today I say no to it I have decided that I really need to catch up on some things I have let go around the house and then do one of my favorite things...... cook and find new recipes to try out. I just wish this darn fatigue would let go of me. Not used to feeling so tired and sluggish, funny I used to call wine my go go juice, but I know this is my body recovering and the more I take my vitamins the better I will feel. Thank GOD for this place...... you all have been so caring to me. Means so much to me considering I forgot just how much worth I am, and felt my relapses did not warrant understanding. This road may be long but can see that little light telling me it will all be ok
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 1,869
Something that really helped me too at the beginning was hanging out here. Reading and posting, kept me occupied.
AVRT is addictive voice recognition techniques... Do a google search or even a search here, you will get lots of info. It has really helped me.
I'm glad that you are almost past the withdrawal stage, it's tough but in a way it's easy because your memory of he misery is fresh. It's easy to stop, difficult to stay stopped so start working on your sobriety plan. It will change with time but it's really important that you have something ready so that you are prepared when cravings start or triggers begin.
AVRT is addictive voice recognition techniques... Do a google search or even a search here, you will get lots of info. It has really helped me.
I'm glad that you are almost past the withdrawal stage, it's tough but in a way it's easy because your memory of he misery is fresh. It's easy to stop, difficult to stay stopped so start working on your sobriety plan. It will change with time but it's really important that you have something ready so that you are prepared when cravings start or triggers begin.
EnjoyingTheJourney
Join Date: Aug 2015
Posts: 3,847
Hi and welcome life!
So glad you found SR. It is a good place to land and without the support of my January class and so many other wise people here I wouldn't be at over 100 days sober and appreciating it more each new day.
Have you looked into joining the April class? You'll receive a warm welcome-
In the early days drinking tons of water, herbal tea (Sleepytime) or anything with chamomile and walking slowly around the neighborhood or in a nearby park really helped with the achy withdrawal symptoms. And lots of naps! It's good you have some time off right now and can do that. Hugs to you and keep reaching out, learning and posting. You can do this!
So glad you found SR. It is a good place to land and without the support of my January class and so many other wise people here I wouldn't be at over 100 days sober and appreciating it more each new day.
Have you looked into joining the April class? You'll receive a warm welcome-
In the early days drinking tons of water, herbal tea (Sleepytime) or anything with chamomile and walking slowly around the neighborhood or in a nearby park really helped with the achy withdrawal symptoms. And lots of naps! It's good you have some time off right now and can do that. Hugs to you and keep reaching out, learning and posting. You can do this!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2016
Location: richmond, Virginia
Posts: 84
I am still learning to navigate the site and I find myself reading more and more, I am still putting together my plan, I found it very hard to start one as I wasn't sure just where to begin. I have begun a daily schedule that from the time I wake up to the time I go to sleep, is filled with things I can do for me that are positive, I had forgotten how many things I truly enjoy, it's time to let them back into my life. I think the hardest part is going to be reaching out to my family. I pushed them away because of the shame I felt and to he honest did not want to hear the lectures, I never meant to push them away in the beginning, but the more I drank the more time got away from me, missed a ton of special times, I'm hoping they forgive me.... I love and miss them so much, but the only one who can make it right is me, no matter how scary picking up that phone is to take the first step to getting my family back.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2016
Location: richmond, Virginia
Posts: 84
I just posted in April's class, my goodness I feel like a kid at Christmas time there are so many wonderful threads and people here, this site is the best gift I could give myself. Thank you for being here
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: North Cackalacky
Posts: 45
Hi Life, welcome!
Mom here too but still have my kids in house.....
I tried to get sober on my own for years and finally one day I gave up. I didn't want to die but I did not really want to live either- not the way I was living. I had tried everything......dr.'s, therapy etc.... and then i walked into AA. It is kind of a blur but I knew white knuckling would only last so long so it was rehab or AA and I researched rehab and didn't want a room mate so i decided to try AA.... so silly really... but i wasn't thinking too straight at the time. AA hasn't helped me quit drinking but it has helped me stay sober for 72 days. I know how to quit drinking, i just need to learn to stay sober and they have the tools and the experience.
It might not be your thing but I do hope you give it a try... they will understand you and you will understand them!!
Mom here too but still have my kids in house.....
I tried to get sober on my own for years and finally one day I gave up. I didn't want to die but I did not really want to live either- not the way I was living. I had tried everything......dr.'s, therapy etc.... and then i walked into AA. It is kind of a blur but I knew white knuckling would only last so long so it was rehab or AA and I researched rehab and didn't want a room mate so i decided to try AA.... so silly really... but i wasn't thinking too straight at the time. AA hasn't helped me quit drinking but it has helped me stay sober for 72 days. I know how to quit drinking, i just need to learn to stay sober and they have the tools and the experience.
It might not be your thing but I do hope you give it a try... they will understand you and you will understand them!!
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