oakleaf82

Wow almost crumbled today, totally unexpectedly. My partner and I have been in this together. We usually have a standing Friday night dinner date. Today he was quite irritable and just in a sour mood. We were discussing where to go eat and he kept saying how he really wanted a beer. Just one or two. I can't believe how strong the pull was. I resisted and when it started looking like we were seriously going to get in an argument over this, I knew if he suggested it again I would cave instantly. But he dropped it and we ended up getting take out, and I'm still sober I think using AVRT helped immensely because I really thought it through and knew how much I would regret it and how it just be the first step back into the abyss.

It's funny because I've been feeling sooo confident lately. A few events coming up that normally would be opportunities to drink. I've been doing lots of visualizing how this is going to go and telling the people I'll be with that I'm not drinking. Very comfortable and confident I can handle these occasions. And a random Friday where I had not a single thought of drinking until my partner mentioned it and it almost all fell apart. A good reminder of how fragile sobriety is at this early stage.

Thanks for listening SR.

sleepie

oakleaf Congrats on day 48! Good to hear you refrained from drinking- keep it up, you will benefit greatly.

Dee74

I'm glad you made it through oakleaf - have you thought of beefing up your recovery plan a little?

D

Soberwolf

Congratulations on 48 days

least

Congrats on 48 days sober! I found my strength in recovery thru gratitude. Every day I make a list of what I'm grateful for, big or little. It helps me focus on the positive.

thomas11

Hi oakleaf, congratulations on 42 days, that's great. My wife and I also have a couple "standing" dates per week. We have Friday night, as you do, and then we have Sunday breakfast. It keeps some structure in our lives. Those things were kind of out the window when I was drinking heavily on the weekends. They've come back. Great going.

oakleaf82

Thanks for the replies. As for my recovery plan, well, shaky as it was, whatever I did worked. I think if I hadn't been reading as much I have been and practicing AVRT already I'm certain I would have given in right away. It definitely reminded me I need yo on guard, visualize, and prepare for even the mundane days when nothing was planned.

Part of that is going at this with another person. I know that I am only responsible for my own actions and that is one of things I told myself when we were having the conversation last night. We have been married almost 10 years and together 16 and have been through many ups and downs so am hopeful we get through this stronger. I knew when I made the decision to quit there would probably come a situation such as what happened yesterday, but being faced with it was still surprising.

I need to start telling more folks in real life about my decision as I think that will strengthen it. I'm thinking about starting a blog as well. I have been journaling a lot too, and it is very helpful

Happy sober Saturday!

kinix

I used to get to a meeting and count. I counted upto 90 and then refused to accept my chip. I lost 5 years after that. Recovery is a state of mind. I just got back after 9 months in rehab. I feel good recovery is a state of mind just hang on till the moment comes.
My feeling is you get recovery when you are ready for it. The paradox of the program is that you have to admit defeat in order to win.