Sadly i relapsed .. Long rant
Alive in the Superunknown
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: 30.47ºN, 98.15ºW
Posts: 1,460
As an atheist new to my own recovery, I accept responsibility for my own deeds ... and misdeeds. I'm putting together my own program including a plan in place, looking at individual therapy, and a couple of different secular options.
But at the end of the day, I am responsible for my own sobriety.
But at the end of the day, I am responsible for my own sobriety.
A Day at a Time
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Grand Rapids MI
Posts: 6,435
No program is going to keep you sober no program is going to make you drink. Staying sober or drinking is 100% in your court. The best any program will do is to suggest the necessary changes that a person needs to make and provide them a set of tools that will help.
People spend a lifetime learning and practicing what AA teaches so giving up on AA in two days is like giving up on antibiotics because you took one pill and it didn't make you feel any better
People spend a lifetime learning and practicing what AA teaches so giving up on AA in two days is like giving up on antibiotics because you took one pill and it didn't make you feel any better
You can have reasons, or you can have results, but you can't have both.
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Syracuse, NY
Posts: 1,232
Originally Posted by ProudPenguin 
Thank you very much ! Amazing to hear that there is a way without the famous 12 steps
Feeling pressured to embrace ideas which are antithetical to your own is a big stressor, and early sobriety is not a good time to be exposed to unnecessary stressors. I know for a fact that you can find sobriety without tearing apart your personal value system.
You did a good thing, though. You tried a potential program of recovery to see if it would be helpful. It wasn't, and that's okay. Re-embrace your sobriety because it's for YOU, and then carry on your journey toward a richly fulfilling and happy life.
Guest
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: U.S.A
Posts: 236
Originally Posted by Carlotta
Ok so you drank and you feel like crap and like many people you either don't believe in a higher power or you feel that yours has probably better things to do than micromanaging your life.
No need to project onto the AA program the anger you probably feel at yourself for relapsing. That won't help you get sober. If nothing else, anger is often a fuel for active addiction.
If AA is not a good fit for you there are many alternatives.
Why not instead formulate a new plan?
Check out the secular section for some non 12 steps alternatives:
Secular Connections - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
and also the secular 12 step recovery section
Secular 12 Step Recovery - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
I also hope you will join us on the 24 hours recovery connections where we commit not to drink or drug for that day. It's a fun supportive way to hold ourselves accountable
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ml#post5820076
Make sure you drink a lot of water today and don't beat too hard on yourself. You can do it!
No need to project onto the AA program the anger you probably feel at yourself for relapsing. That won't help you get sober. If nothing else, anger is often a fuel for active addiction.
If AA is not a good fit for you there are many alternatives.
Why not instead formulate a new plan?
Check out the secular section for some non 12 steps alternatives:
Secular Connections - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
and also the secular 12 step recovery section
Secular 12 Step Recovery - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
I also hope you will join us on the 24 hours recovery connections where we commit not to drink or drug for that day. It's a fun supportive way to hold ourselves accountable
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ml#post5820076
Make sure you drink a lot of water today and don't beat too hard on yourself. You can do it!
If you believe in God .. A.A could be wonderful, but for people like me and the thread creator .. they don't offer a solution except the fact being around other sober people can be inspiring / motivating if they speak in language we can understand.
Guest
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: U.S.A
Posts: 236
Penguin,
You made it a month. That's great. I know you may feel like it was wasted .. but you must of learned tools and overcome a lot in that month. Just because you relapsed doesn't mean you can't start over. You know how to get and stay sober for a month. Start again but really be thinking about what happened at the one month mark so you can overcome that obstacle.
You made it a month. That's great. I know you may feel like it was wasted .. but you must of learned tools and overcome a lot in that month. Just because you relapsed doesn't mean you can't start over. You know how to get and stay sober for a month. Start again but really be thinking about what happened at the one month mark so you can overcome that obstacle.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Boston, MA
Posts: 1,601
Originally Posted by ProudPenguin
Been sober for a month and 2 days . Yesterday relapsed , feel like **** today . Not looking for excuses, happened what happened. I was doing so well and to be honest the 12 step program that I started with my sponsor was the worst thing to do . I am still happy to go to the meetings and just listen but I would never ever try doing steps again . I couldn't go past first step because I have no God to believe in ... I told this woman such a personal and embarrassing things about my life and it went nowhere. I absolutely without slightest doubt admit that I'm an alcoholic, I can't drink and I know it , I am powerless over alcohol but there is no way I will admit that I'm powerless over my life ! And no I don't have God to believe in and I'm fine with that . I don't want any God in my head telling me something, I myself telling me all these things and making decisions not some god in my head . I will not admit that my life is unmanageable and only God can keep me sober . And yeah I know many of you would say to me that I'm in denial and that I probably still don't understand it . Trust me I do and I can scream on top of my lungs that I am an alcoholic but no God can keep me sober just me and nobody else . I totally understand people who really had messed up lives , who really suffered a lot and even lost everything in their lives, probably they are at this point when they looking for God and that higher power , but I know it's totally not for me . I really wanted to do the steps and I truly believed it would help me more to keep me sober , but looks like in there
you can't have any opinions any different understanding or anything. I don't know how I feel about AA anymore and this force feeding God AA book . Sorry for the rant but I needed to vent . Also if someone have any recommendations maybe some of you using any non 12 step programs
you can't have any opinions any different understanding or anything. I don't know how I feel about AA anymore and this force feeding God AA book . Sorry for the rant but I needed to vent . Also if someone have any recommendations maybe some of you using any non 12 step programs
My mind snaps shut to things so easily. I'm constantly working on opening my mind up to things so I can experience them.
However, AA is not the only way. Smart Recovery is another option. These boards. Therapy etc.
We're here to support you in whatever road you choose to obtain a happy, sober life!
saoutchik
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: London
Posts: 16,205
Originally Posted by Grendhar
So someone relapsed and has something negative to say about A.A .. and their criticism is false just because they relapsed? I
As you mentioned yourself the non religious bits are pretty good. Not all AA groups stress the praying/higher power stuff - waste of time in secular London where I live. Some AA teachings seem a little "hokey" but most of it is good sense and from people who have stood in our shoes.
I think the point I am tortuously making is don't throw the baby out with the bathwater
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 11,434
I don't use AA either, but have developed my own program which
includes reading and posting support to others here on SR,
journaling, exercising, meditation, and developing creative pursuits
to fill my life and the time I used to spend drinking.
Works very well for me.
I'm not really a "program" person but I think whatever
gets folks sober is OK by me.
It doesn't mean I have to agree, or go, or even hear about it.
I get irritated when I'm told I'm doomed to fail, but that's
ultimately up to me in the end
Keep going with sobriety PP, no matter what it takes to get you there.
It's so worth it!
includes reading and posting support to others here on SR,
journaling, exercising, meditation, and developing creative pursuits
to fill my life and the time I used to spend drinking.
Works very well for me.
I'm not really a "program" person but I think whatever
gets folks sober is OK by me.
It doesn't mean I have to agree, or go, or even hear about it.
I get irritated when I'm told I'm doomed to fail, but that's
ultimately up to me in the end
Keep going with sobriety PP, no matter what it takes to get you there.
It's so worth it!
Behold the power of NO
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: WA
Posts: 7,764
Originally Posted by Grendhar
So someone relapsed and has something negative to say about A.A .. and their criticism is false just because they relapsed? I too have the same issue with A.A as the creator of this thread. Sometimes I get something out of the meetings .. if they don't babble on about God. When they do, it was a complete waste of time. The steps .. forget about them. God, God and more God.
If you believe in God .. A.A could be wonderful, but for people like me and the thread creator .. they don't offer a solution except the fact being around other sober people can be inspiring / motivating if they speak in language we can understand.
If you believe in God .. A.A could be wonderful, but for people like me and the thread creator .. they don't offer a solution except the fact being around other sober people can be inspiring / motivating if they speak in language we can understand.
I just suggested that instead of getting angry at a program which will accomplish nothing, it would make much more sense to use that energy to make a plan and explore other avenues which might be a better fit.
The same way that no one and nothing could make me pick up a drink but myself, therefore drinking at this stage is my choice when I am confronted with an institution or an organization I do not like I have choices.
I can chose to be pissed off and quack angrily about it, I can chose to change it or I can move on in a different more positive direction.
There are other alternatives and if you re read my posts on this thread you will see that I posted a link to the secular forum, the secular 12 step forums (for those who are atheists in AA >yes quite a few atheists< recover there and lastly to the 24 hours recovery connections which is a place with people doing every and any method and what not.
Btw: Neither am I a Christian nor am I attending AA anymore.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2016
Posts: 41
Just got back and been able to read the responses. I if some of you think I'm starting a debate about anything, it wasn't my intention as I mentioned in my title it was a rant and how I felt about my own situation. I truly understand some of your suggestions to get involved more in SR and comment on other people's posts etc . I get it but I'm not a very social person and I got so much going on that I simply can't find anything to say to other people at this point. And for those who supported my post and feeling same way thank you . I am starting over and I am ok , I will try smart recovery because I really feel the need of a real life program not the online . I barely go on internet as I have a disabled son and other little kids so I'm sorry if the things I post been discussed a lot here in the past and that I post only about myself , but this is what I needed to do .
Behold the power of NO
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: WA
Posts: 7,764
I am glad you reached out and started this thread and also that you plan to attend SMART PP
Being sober might seem like a lot of work at the beginning but it is really worth it in the long run.
You can do it and you are worth it.
Being sober might seem like a lot of work at the beginning but it is really worth it in the long run.
You can do it and you are worth it.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,517
PP, you are welcome to post here about your problems and not have time to read around the boards. We want the boards to be helpful to you, whatever you need at the moment. Sometimes we give and sometimes we take and that's how we all get along in this journey.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,454
I truly understand some of your suggestions to get involved more in SR and comment on other people's posts etc . I get it but I'm not a very social person and I got so much going on that I simply can't find anything to say to other people at this point.
Posting here more certainly helped me, but you've reminded me my experience is not universal. My apologies
I do urge you to always try and make some time for your recovery tho, best you can - it is important, and I think it will help you in the other areas of your life as well
D
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