For ME
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2013
Posts: 919
For ME
Getting sober is selfish.
I am not here to fix anyone but myself, I don't have that kind of power. Maybe someday I will.
I am not a victim.
I am lonely and scared a lot of the time.
I am happy and hopeful sometimes.
Today I turn 25. Next week will mark 6 months sober, the longest time I've been sober since I started drinking.
Today I nearly broke down and cried.
I was listening to a podcast where they were discussing my next port-of-call, a country I hope to live in. They talked about beer and drinking culture and I thought god, here I am alone in my apartment. Soon I'll be leaving this country, my girlfriend, my job, and stepping into the unknown.
My parents are on their own path. My friends aren't here.
I am alone. And I want that simple comfort. Really really freaking bad I want that beer that buzz that escape.
*takes a deep breath*
Its stress and loneliness and fear.
I had a great productive day. I worked out, I hiked, I wrote, and I studied a new language I am working on.
Its not easy though I guess, to do it alone. I'm going to work harder to reach out to people around me. I need them in my life to keep me sane.
Thanks for listening.
-Kin
I am not here to fix anyone but myself, I don't have that kind of power. Maybe someday I will.
I am not a victim.
I am lonely and scared a lot of the time.
I am happy and hopeful sometimes.
Today I turn 25. Next week will mark 6 months sober, the longest time I've been sober since I started drinking.
Today I nearly broke down and cried.
I was listening to a podcast where they were discussing my next port-of-call, a country I hope to live in. They talked about beer and drinking culture and I thought god, here I am alone in my apartment. Soon I'll be leaving this country, my girlfriend, my job, and stepping into the unknown.
My parents are on their own path. My friends aren't here.
I am alone. And I want that simple comfort. Really really freaking bad I want that beer that buzz that escape.
*takes a deep breath*
Its stress and loneliness and fear.
I had a great productive day. I worked out, I hiked, I wrote, and I studied a new language I am working on.
Its not easy though I guess, to do it alone. I'm going to work harder to reach out to people around me. I need them in my life to keep me sane.
Thanks for listening.
-Kin
Member
Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: England
Posts: 2,675
Thanks for sharing kinzoku. Congrats on 6 months of sobriety! It's not easy, things can seem overwhelming in sobriety especially when you're making big changes. But these big changes could lead to something great, just don't pick up that drink. Stay productive, keep us updated, and I wish you luck.
Guest
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: The Deep South
Posts: 14,636
Happy Birthday. 
'I am alone. And I want that simple comfort. Really really freaking bad I want that beer that buzz that escape.' -- But is it really comfort? Isn't it an illusion of comfort? I'd say so. For alcoholics and problem drinkers, it causes more trouble than it's worth. It was a big time waster for me, personally. It was a hole I dug in order to escape the responsibility of doing the things I was passionate about.
I understand being alone, and how essential it is to writers. We need solitude. It's non-negotiable. Just remember that you are never truly alone. SR is here 24/7. It's been invaluable to me.
'I am alone. And I want that simple comfort. Really really freaking bad I want that beer that buzz that escape.' -- But is it really comfort? Isn't it an illusion of comfort? I'd say so. For alcoholics and problem drinkers, it causes more trouble than it's worth. It was a big time waster for me, personally. It was a hole I dug in order to escape the responsibility of doing the things I was passionate about.
I understand being alone, and how essential it is to writers. We need solitude. It's non-negotiable. Just remember that you are never truly alone. SR is here 24/7. It's been invaluable to me.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,445
Hi Kin
The AV is relentless isn't it ? it's packaging up that mythical one beer as the answer to each and every one of your fears, worries and problems.
You AV is totally full of it.
If drinking was the answer to your problems you wouldn't be here on SR.
Staying sober gives me the chance to make my life the way I want it. I have the opportunity to chase my dreams and make them real.
Drinking I have no chance at all.
I'm sorry you're feeling low. I know your AV has been pulling out all the stops lately. Maybe a little more support might help? or at least looking at your recovery plan and beefing it up in some way?
congrats on your 6 months - don't let the AV put you off. It's lies are as bogus as they were on day one. Re read old posts if you have to Kin....stay with us
D
The AV is relentless isn't it ? it's packaging up that mythical one beer as the answer to each and every one of your fears, worries and problems.
You AV is totally full of it.
If drinking was the answer to your problems you wouldn't be here on SR.
Staying sober gives me the chance to make my life the way I want it. I have the opportunity to chase my dreams and make them real.
Drinking I have no chance at all.
I'm sorry you're feeling low. I know your AV has been pulling out all the stops lately. Maybe a little more support might help? or at least looking at your recovery plan and beefing it up in some way?
congrats on your 6 months - don't let the AV put you off. It's lies are as bogus as they were on day one. Re read old posts if you have to Kin....stay with us
D
Member
Join Date: Jan 2016
Posts: 770
Originally Posted by kinzoku 
Getting sober is selfish.
I am not here to fix anyone but myself, I don't have that kind of power. Maybe someday I will.
I am not a victim.
I am lonely and scared a lot of the time.
I am happy and hopeful sometimes.
Today I turn 25. Next week will mark 6 months sober, the longest time I've been sober since I started drinking.
Today I nearly broke down and cried.
I was listening to a podcast where they were discussing my next port-of-call, a country I hope to live in. They talked about beer and drinking culture and I thought god, here I am alone in my apartment. Soon I'll be leaving this country, my girlfriend, my job, and stepping into the unknown.
My parents are on their own path. My friends aren't here.
I am alone. And I want that simple comfort. Really really freaking bad I want that beer that buzz that escape.
*takes a deep breath*
Its stress and loneliness and fear.
I had a great productive day. I worked out, I hiked, I wrote, and I studied a new language I am working on.
Its not easy though I guess, to do it alone. I'm going to work harder to reach out to people around me. I need them in my life to keep me sane.
Thanks for listening.
-Kin
I am not here to fix anyone but myself, I don't have that kind of power. Maybe someday I will.
I am not a victim.
I am lonely and scared a lot of the time.
I am happy and hopeful sometimes.
Today I turn 25. Next week will mark 6 months sober, the longest time I've been sober since I started drinking.
Today I nearly broke down and cried.
I was listening to a podcast where they were discussing my next port-of-call, a country I hope to live in. They talked about beer and drinking culture and I thought god, here I am alone in my apartment. Soon I'll be leaving this country, my girlfriend, my job, and stepping into the unknown.
My parents are on their own path. My friends aren't here.
I am alone. And I want that simple comfort. Really really freaking bad I want that beer that buzz that escape.
*takes a deep breath*
Its stress and loneliness and fear.
I had a great productive day. I worked out, I hiked, I wrote, and I studied a new language I am working on.
Its not easy though I guess, to do it alone. I'm going to work harder to reach out to people around me. I need them in my life to keep me sane.
Thanks for listening.
-Kin
Look at the part I highlighted in bold above. Find a way to get rid of those feelings because those are the ones that put you in this position mentally.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2013
Posts: 919
Thanks for the support everyone. I'll be up at it battling the demon tomorrow. Gonna enjoy a slice of the birthday cheesecake I bought myself, read, and sleep. Not feeling great but I can at least count on my sobriety, and yalls support, so thanks
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2013
Posts: 919
The Imjin War - Samuel Haley (About Japan's 1592 invasion of Korea)
When America First Met China - Eric Jay Dolin
Life and Death are Wearing Me Out - Mo Yan
I was also on a John Grisham binge but those books only last a few days so I'm back to nonfiction.
When America First Met China - Eric Jay Dolin
Life and Death are Wearing Me Out - Mo Yan
I was also on a John Grisham binge but those books only last a few days so I'm back to nonfiction.
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