DoctorEis

I wouldn't have agreed with you all that long ago, but I do today wholeheartedly. I actually had the thought today that maybe I just need a break for a while, but I'm smart enough now to know I've been saying this for 20 years and the only thing that's changed is my increased tolerance.



Evil s@&t. I'm ready to be in control for a change!

DoctorEis

Not bad if you're looking from the outside. I spent too much time and effort trying to reconcile the bs from my childhood. Absent parents except I lived with them and they hate each other. . I figured out that I was letting this toxicity eat away at my soul, but no longer. It will take time to heal and I'll never be over it, but I know how to handle it now. Glad I have this site and glad you all are taking the effort to connect with me. It means a lot!

least

Welcome from a fellow Buckeye.

Pondlady

Welcome to SR. It's great you want to stop and stay stopped. I needed to change my routine for the times I usually drank and plan some stuff to do. I took a lot of walks and ran errands....I also went to bed earlier and got up earlier....habits that have stuck with me

ForMyGirls

I can relate. 4 years ago, I became the youngest person promoted to partner with my firm. I'd been with them 14 years, all the while drinking 12-24 pretty much nightly. I was doing the same thing for 6 years prior to joining the firm while bartending my way through school. I have to admit though, my work has suffered greatly the past couple of years... I'm 42... Just can't seem to power through it like I used to... I went from highly functioning to just getting by. I'm certain that it would have continued to get worse. Thank God nobody noticed, and thank God that I've now decided to live a sober life. I'm glad that you've decided the same, and I wish you the best of luck.

DoctorEis

"Thank God nobody noticed ". We are about the same age and I bet neither one of us will go unnoticed for long if we hit the bottle again. Praying for you, brother.

ForMyGirls

I'm also a married father to three girls.

Prayers to you too.

bigsombrero

I'm 40 as well - I quit drinking 3.5 years ago and a lot has changed. Like others here, I also considered myself a "high functioning alcoholic" and often felt the need to post my resume on recovery boards just to prove it.

Today, as I close in on 4 years sober, I don't think I was "high functioning" at all. Sure, I had a job and made money. Aside from that, I was really struggling inside. I was wasting my life and didn't have too many experiences that didn't involve being under the influence of alcohol.

It's time to learn how to live like a sober adult. Change your way of thinking, man. Remember that kid inside? The person you've drank to cover up for so many years? Be that guy. Live your life for the person you truly are, not the person you think others expect you to be. You can do this man - here on SR is a good place to start. You can't hide your drinking problem under your resume forever. Good luck and welcome.

Hevyn

Good stuff already said - but I want to welcome you too. We are so glad you're here with us. Sharing our feelings & ideas really helps with the anxiety in early recovery. I'm glad you've decided to make this big change in your life. You can do it, DoctorE.

DoctorEis

I started reading The Sober Truth and love it already. Thanks for the recommendation!

Delilah1

Welcome Mark!! You will find lots of support on SR. Glad you are here!:-)

Zufrieden

Welcome Mark and thanks for your post.
As you can see, many of us carried the high functioning mantle at one point.
Like others it has only been through an extended period of sobriety that I've realized how incredibly poorly I was functioning wholistically.
I liken high functioning, in my case anyway, as a decent looking car running its last miles on zero oil or maintenance before the engine blows. Under the hood things didn't look so good.
Take this time to be thankful you haven't blown up yet...
Best wishes
Jonathan