Pressmetilihurt

Man... AA meetings are bumming me out. It's not that I hate AA completely, it's just that it's one sad story after another. The speakers seem sad, the audiences seems sad. I was used to going to AA meetings with laughter and joy. The prob is I just realized I need support to do this deal. I so wish I understood how a higher power is supposed to help. I don't get how to rely on something that isn't tangible.

Berrybean

Are you problems 'tangible' then?

Mine weren't. They were invisible to most people, and although I felt the force of them inside, I couldn't actually hold or grasp them. You know - much of our recovery is about altered perspective. And to change our perspective we need to be ready and willing to let go of our old one.

Love is not tangible, but it is real enough. The fellowship I feel in the rooms isn't tangible, but again, that is real enough. It is okay to not understand how the HP thing works - why should I (or you) be the one person who completely understands it?? You don't need to understand it for it to work for you.

This was the Daily reflection for yesterday....
13 February: WE CAN'T THINK OUR WAY SOBER
To the intellectually self-sufficient man or woman, many A.A.'s can say, "Yes, we were like you — far too smart for our own good. . . . Secretly, we felt we could float above the rest of the folks on our brain power alone."
— AS BILL SEES IT, p. 60
Even the most brilliant mind is no defense against the disease of alcoholism. I can't think my way sober. I try to remember that intelligence is a Godgiven attribute that I may use, a joy — like having a talent for dancing or drawing or carpentry. It does not make me better than anyone else, and it is not a particularly reliable tool for recovery, for it is a power greater than myself who will restore me to sanity — not a high IQ or a college degree.

PS I used to go to a meeting where there were a large number of people who wanted to dwell in the problem, rather than the solution. It left me feeling very low, so when I'd been enough times that I knew that was the norm for that meeting, I replaced it for one that worked better for me. Maybe look into alternative meetings - it's very true that different meetings have different vibes. Are there any BB study or 12&12 meetings near you? I find these really helpful for my step work, as there is a good positive focus on the program itself, and what it has done for people.

Dee74

have you tried a different meeting?

Is there someone there who you like the cut of their recovery?

Have you asked them about their conception of HP and how it helps them?

stevieg46

.

Reality is an illusion caused by lack of alcohol , that's how it can feel when we stopped , when drinking we escaped from reality .

When we remove alcohol from the body , taking into consideration that alcohol was only a symptom of alcoholism ? we are left with ''untreated alcoholism '' if you feel that the meeting you are going to is ''living with the problem ''? then like Beccy says find a meeting that is ''living with the solution '' and the best source are ''recovery based '' Big Book Study , 12 Step Discussion meetings there are loads of them , we ''all know how to get drunk '' we need to find how to ''stay sober '' take care .

Stevie recovered 12 03 2006 .
words are easy music is a lot harder . ps try to stop thinking GOD means religion , try GOD means spiritual .

mns1

AA isn't for everyone, including myself. But there are so many ways to get support. My support system consists of my family, friends, therapist, and SR.

And kind of touching on what Dee said, I think the concept of a higher power and spirituality in general means different things to different people.

For me it is simply about being driven by something greater than myself, and acknowledging my humble place in the grand scheme of things.

One of my favorite quotes goes something like: "You are ghost driving a meat-encased skeleton made from stardust, riding on a giant rock, hurtling through space. Fear nothing."

Anytime I find myself getting all worked up over petty problems (which are a lot of the time problems I create myself through the way I react to things), I recite this quote to myself. Suddenly whatever is bothering me just doesn't seem like such a big deal anymore.

Mountainmanbob

Chapter to the agnostics?
May be of some help?
Mountainmanbob

Soberwolf

If that particular AA mtn didn't work out you can try others if you want or you could try Smart, AVRT or lifering ?

Find what is right for you & keep moving forward bud

PaulDaveSmithJo

I sympathize entirely with what you feel. My having had similar feelings is what drove me to seek other means to recovery. The idea that I was powerless over my affliction, the idea that I must regularly attend meetings for the rest of my life, and the idea that there was no end in sight, i.e, no cure, for my affliction - these things had me just as bummed out as you were, and just as sad as the speakers and audience you mentioned. I wanted more out of life than that - and I now have it, thanks to other means; thanks to Albert Ellis; Allen Carr; Jack Trimpey; Philip Tate; Herbert Fingarette; Jeffrey M. Schwartz; Marc Lewis; Bhante Gunaratana; Gabor Mate; Noah Levine, and Siddhartha Gautama.

With all due respect, I think it's important to remember that Bill W. was born in 1895, and likely wrote the idea quoted above in the late 1930s. I think that Bill was likely correct in what he said, that in his time and place, given the relatively undeveloped state of the sciences of the mind, that yes - one likely couldn't think oneself sober at that time.

But in the almost 100 years since then, there have been remarkable progress in the sciences of the mind. Mindfulness/cognitive based approaches and neuroplasticity are pointing in the direction of enabling individuals to assert control over such things as addictions. They've certainly helped me. I'm no longer bummed out or sad, and, yes, I've "thought my way sober" - thank you very much.

But unfortunately, there do not seem to be any absolutes for removing this affliction; probably because there are simply too many variables for such to be the case. At the end of the day, a method either works, or doesn't work, and I think we render a tremendous disservice to others when we use the language of absolutes, like Bill has in his unfortunate statement.

tomsteve

oxygen isnt tangible.
but it works at keeping me alive.

least

I really like this.

Anna

I agree that looking around for other, more upbeat AA meetings or add something else to your recovery.

You might want to check out our fantastic Book List and add one of these positive and inspirational books to your recovery plan:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ependence.html

stevieg46

Hi Paul .

In 1935 there was no alternative to AA in mid to late 50 s I reckon, in the mid to late 39 s the alternative was Mental Asylums .

Science and medicine have made little progress in the field of alcohol/drug abuse .

In the late 60 s new age thinking into the 70 s became fashionable as did drugs I read one of the first sort of new age books , Norman Vincent Peale '' Power of Positive Thinking '' I say sort, of as it was based on religious thoughts and problem solving but interesting and helpful at the time .

Scientific based ways of Spiritual thought and practices have been very helpful to many , open mind is paramount in the recovery or spiritual path , I never impress AA is the ''only ''way in recovery , I am a regular on Lifering and have been so for about 9 years, they do not welcome talk of Steps Higher Power and I have no problem with that , Personally I am an AA member and very content to be so , but I am happy to extend a helping hand to others with alcohol problems , take care .

Regards Stevie recovered 12 03 2006 .
mind is like a parachute it only functions when open

Aellyce

I gravitated towards sad, depressed, anxious, and otherwise troubled people when I was drinking heavily and in early recovery for a while. Also people who were overly critical of me while not owning their issues, not trying to turn things around. I think I did that because they mirrored my own self and state of being as a reflection I identified with consciously or unconsciously. We can find this everywhere not only in AA meetings, just like we can find the opposite as well: upbeat, forward looking and nourishing company. I feel it's just the question of focus and looking and an (often learned) ability to leave behind what does not support us. Not sure it has anything to do with personal HP concepts but this is just my opinion. More an orientation to life and way of existence.

MIRecovery

I believe the single greatest piece of advice I was given and can give is, "Find healthy happy people with long term sobriety. Then do what they do and do what they have done."

SportsFan15

I have found this to be true after a few years trying to think my way sober:
"Even the most brilliant mind is no defense against the disease of alcoholism. I can't think my way sober. I try to remember that intelligence is a Godgiven attribute that I may use, a joy — like having a talent for dancing or drawing or carpentry. It does not make me better than anyone else, and it is not a particularly reliable tool for recovery, for it is a power greater than myself who will restore me to sanity — not a high IQ or a college degree."

Thanks Beccybean for posting this.