Back on the merry-go-round...
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: middle of nowhere
Posts: 2,849
Back on the merry-go-round...
I'm done. I want off the merry go round. I've been trying to taper myself back to sober days for the past month. I walked out of detox and back to back meetings with all the gusto to tackle life sober and was thrown into the nightmare of my life. I hit the bottle again fast and hard. I'm just done. There is no relief in drinking. I've been coming to this forum off and on for years. Now it's time to speak up and get my **** together. Nobody else is going to fix it for me, and certainly not mr. shmirnoff. So halloo, everybody! A few more days of the worst of the physical withdrawals and I will be back to counting sober days. How many times does it take to detox before you get the point that detox isn't fun, so what's the point in starting again? 
17 times? I'm looking forward to the getting back to counting sober days instead of frikken counting the number of times I've detoxed. 
17 times? I'm looking forward to the getting back to counting sober days instead of frikken counting the number of times I've detoxed. 
I'm a big fan of the guitar. I love that damn instrument. - Steve Vai
Join Date: Aug 2015
Posts: 46
Best of luck. Number of times through the process varies individually; just never give up! It sounds like drinking has brought you to the place where it's now more pain than pleasure.
I hope the support here can help you get sober for good. 
I could see peace instead of this
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Canada, eh
Posts: 2,360
Welcome, Delizadee!
When I was exhausted from the beating alcohol gave me, I was ready to do what it took to get and stay sober. I never let myself forget how horrible it was.
When I was exhausted from the beating alcohol gave me, I was ready to do what it took to get and stay sober. I never let myself forget how horrible it was.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: middle of nowhere
Posts: 2,849
Thanks everyone! I'm going to take some time today to work on my recovery plan. I think I've gotten myself past the absolute worst of the physical withdrawals, I'm a little more clear-head and not very shaky. The withdrawals weren't as bad but I'm sure I'll struggle with PAWS this time even worse but I'm going to throw everything I can at it.
Yeah this time I'm not going to let myself forget about it. I'm going to write it down and keep it in my recovery book. I basically erased most of January from my mind and spent almost month tapering off. I was dealing with massive anxiety and started hallucinating while I was still drinking. I was already detoxing because I couldn't drink as much thanks to reverse tolerance. This past year and a half of this back and forth and missing chunks of my life even if I wasn't drunk, that is in itself enough. I'm done!
Yeah this time I'm not going to let myself forget about it. I'm going to write it down and keep it in my recovery book. I basically erased most of January from my mind and spent almost month tapering off. I was dealing with massive anxiety and started hallucinating while I was still drinking. I was already detoxing because I couldn't drink as much thanks to reverse tolerance. This past year and a half of this back and forth and missing chunks of my life even if I wasn't drunk, that is in itself enough. I'm done!
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