Water441

Hopeful That the people who have worried about me and the people who have nastily just whispered meanly and the people who love me get to see me get stronger as I feel myself grow stronger. Get to see the old me re emerge as the better me.

I know we aren't supposed to care about what others think, but my obsession with that contributed to my drinking more and more. And then all the time. Ironic that I have made them think way worse things about me than before.

Day 4 started strong, but my mind keeps whirling to the fact that I've been drunk (not unruly but drunk) at every social event for as long as I can think back... Ughhhh

I know I can't change that and can only do better today and better tomorrow so in 2 years I don't have the same regrets but those regrets are so fresh and so punishing right now.

biminiblue

In retrospect, I think the feelings of remorse and self-loathing were entirely appropriate emotions for me to be having in response to my past behaviors.

Remembering that has been really helpful to keep me from going back to drinking when it seemed like an option. I believe we are given emotions for a reason and negative emotions mean something needs to change.

Hang in there, you're doing the right thing. I had to learn to forgive myself as well as others.

least

Stay sober and do the best you can. In time I hope you can come to forgive yourself.

Dharma33

Hi, Water-

I've had moments when I would physically cringe and shudder thinking back to things I said or did while active in my addiction. However, it has been fairly recently I have come to let go and have a clearer head regarding my past behaviors.

As long as I don't pick up a drink, I do and say everything with purpose and responsibility. It is a much better way to live.

Everyone in your life will notice your hard work in your sobriety after they can finally see the real you. Stick with it, it gets better!

Ariesagain

I've come to believe that shame and regret are part of the biochemical effects of alcohol addiction...after all, they're emotions closely linked to depression and alcohol is a powerful depressive agent.

But all that aside...as a species, we have short attention spans and always want new news. So hang in there, hold your head high, and let someone else be the new one they all whisper about! It'll probably be sooner than you think!