When did sobriety "stick" for you?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: canada
Posts: 748
When did sobriety "stick" for you?
I'm looking for a little weekend sobriety inspiration, so I'd like to hear your experiences about what made sobriety "stick" for you.
I don't remember the exact date for me, but it was somewhere about 3 to 5 months into sobriety when I took the option of ever drinking again off the table. That commitment has been a big source of power and strength. Sometimes when I get stuck with questions, temptations, rationalizing or labels then I go back to that very simple commitment of "I don't drink". That commitment transcends everything and makes everything else of little importance: what I think of AA, denial of my own condition, how I feel, what's happening to me, etc.
It took me a while to get that point. For the first while it worked best for me to just take sobriety one day at a time. Sometimes I had to take it an hour at a time or a minute at a time. In those earliest days of sobriety when the cravings were almost overwhelming as they tried to direct me to the liquor store on the walk home from work, I took it one step at a time as I looked down and counted my footsteps out loud to focus myself as I made it home safely.....one footstep at a time.
Today I am so grateful for every single one of those sober footsteps that I chose to make back then.
I don't remember the exact date for me, but it was somewhere about 3 to 5 months into sobriety when I took the option of ever drinking again off the table. That commitment has been a big source of power and strength. Sometimes when I get stuck with questions, temptations, rationalizing or labels then I go back to that very simple commitment of "I don't drink". That commitment transcends everything and makes everything else of little importance: what I think of AA, denial of my own condition, how I feel, what's happening to me, etc.
It took me a while to get that point. For the first while it worked best for me to just take sobriety one day at a time. Sometimes I had to take it an hour at a time or a minute at a time. In those earliest days of sobriety when the cravings were almost overwhelming as they tried to direct me to the liquor store on the walk home from work, I took it one step at a time as I looked down and counted my footsteps out loud to focus myself as I made it home safely.....one footstep at a time.
Today I am so grateful for every single one of those sober footsteps that I chose to make back then.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Nova Scotia
Posts: 801
2012, found myself in a treatment program modeled after SMART, major wake up call to me, I have lost count how many time I have been in and out of Detox over the years leading up to this and programs, nothing stuck. This program was different and it sank in, it's was a very intense 28 days, as I saw a Clinical addictions therapist (she had recovered from alcohol but never drank again), Physiologist and a Physiatrist.
Granted I have relapsed twice since then, both times because I didn't keep following through with a plan I made and overconfident but never again.
All the best
Andrew
Granted I have relapsed twice since then, both times because I didn't keep following through with a plan I made and overconfident but never again.
All the best
Andrew
Do your best
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 67,047
Sobriety happened through acceptance of the simple fact that I am alcoholic I had to work hard on my thinking feelings emotions I had to want to get sober for me not my wife not my dog not for anyone but me I went to meetings I went to group & individual therapy I started reading I got involved in things like short courses & volunteering that really helped
Member
Join Date: Jun 2015
Posts: 2,580
It's an interesting topic.
For me it was a confusing mix of a "one time decision" and "one day at a time". I feel like on Day 1, I made a decision ... I looked down the road and had a glimpse of where alcohol was taking me, and decided I didn't want to go there. I knew that for quitting to work, I had to really commit to it down deep, so I tried as best I could to do that.
Then that decision felt really overwhelming, and I went into AA. There I learned about coping with not drinking just one day at a time. I tried to keep my focus on one day at a time, sometimes an hour at a time, which helped a lot at first. I had the occasional thought of drinking, and all sorts of confusion about whether I was really an alcoholic. But I just continued to choose not drinking, and worked on improving my coping skills, and started to see really good things happen in my life.
Later on, around the year mark, some of the ideas like one day at a time and the "alcoholic" label started to feel like a hindrance. I started doing a lot of reading on other recovery methods including AVRT. I realized that I had truly taken alcohol off the table, and my occasional thoughts of drinking were just the addicted Beast part of my brain wanting its fix. It clarified things for me ... I had made a good decision on Day 1, and I'm sticking with it. Anything else is just noise in my head, to be observed and recognized as "not me" -- not part of the bigger truth of who I truly am and who I want to be for the rest of my life. I'm not allowing that part of my brain to be in the driver's seat, because it's a moron.
I feel that whatever method(s) one uses, the important thing is to keep choosing sobriety and choosing actions that support sobriety. Until it sticks.
Thanks for the thread!
For me it was a confusing mix of a "one time decision" and "one day at a time". I feel like on Day 1, I made a decision ... I looked down the road and had a glimpse of where alcohol was taking me, and decided I didn't want to go there. I knew that for quitting to work, I had to really commit to it down deep, so I tried as best I could to do that.
Then that decision felt really overwhelming, and I went into AA. There I learned about coping with not drinking just one day at a time. I tried to keep my focus on one day at a time, sometimes an hour at a time, which helped a lot at first. I had the occasional thought of drinking, and all sorts of confusion about whether I was really an alcoholic. But I just continued to choose not drinking, and worked on improving my coping skills, and started to see really good things happen in my life.
Later on, around the year mark, some of the ideas like one day at a time and the "alcoholic" label started to feel like a hindrance. I started doing a lot of reading on other recovery methods including AVRT. I realized that I had truly taken alcohol off the table, and my occasional thoughts of drinking were just the addicted Beast part of my brain wanting its fix. It clarified things for me ... I had made a good decision on Day 1, and I'm sticking with it. Anything else is just noise in my head, to be observed and recognized as "not me" -- not part of the bigger truth of who I truly am and who I want to be for the rest of my life. I'm not allowing that part of my brain to be in the driver's seat, because it's a moron.
I feel that whatever method(s) one uses, the important thing is to keep choosing sobriety and choosing actions that support sobriety. Until it sticks.
Thanks for the thread!
Trudgin
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 6,348
I am satisfied, happily with taking each day as it comes. Perhaps this is a season in life which when younger I may have viewed differently. I find joy in embracing each day as a new beginning with a fresh outlook and keeping life in simple, small 24 hour bites.
In so doing today I am at 594 fresh starts to a day - I'm good with that. I appreciate what tursiops posted - choosing actions that support sobriety, whatever those may be for me (or you!)
Maybe someday I will have the benefit to look back with perspective and see a turning point, a time when sobriety stuck. That's what's in my noodle today - thanks for the thread!
In so doing today I am at 594 fresh starts to a day - I'm good with that. I appreciate what tursiops posted - choosing actions that support sobriety, whatever those may be for me (or you!)
Maybe someday I will have the benefit to look back with perspective and see a turning point, a time when sobriety stuck. That's what's in my noodle today - thanks for the thread!
Guest
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: The Deep South
Posts: 14,636
Sobriety stuck for me right away. I had stopped drinking many times along the way. When I'd finally had enough and chose to quit, I meant it for good. There was no ambivalence for me. No wavering.
When did sober living become comfortable?
Not right away! It tool a while. Six months, I was still an emotional wreck at times, one year, things were better, two years, even better.
It's still getting better.
When did sober living become comfortable?
Not right away! It tool a while. Six months, I was still an emotional wreck at times, one year, things were better, two years, even better. It's still getting better.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: canada
Posts: 748
Originally Posted by least 
Sobriety really took hold of me at around 3 months sober, which is when I started practicing gratitude. Really changed my whole perspective.
Really changed my whole perspective. 
quat
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: terra (mostly)firma
Posts: 4,823
It won't stick "for you", or at least it didn't for me while I was waiting for it to. I stopped for years and waited the sticking never came. The day /moment I said enough was enough and decided to remove drinking as an option was the day I quit, I had to stick it .
As to being "comfortable in my own skin" or believing enough in myself to trust that my resolve would hold , it got better and more "believable" and continues to grow ever since that moment.
Without the idea of quitting for good, the best we have is wishing for and wanting the negative consequences of our drinking to stop or be fixed until they happen again , allowing ourselves to drift from periods of drinking to periods of 'staving' it off or fighting the seemingly inevitable return to drinking. I proved to be too much of a wimp to handle all the back and forth, I just quit. Anyone can , decide to quit (not stop and hope it holds by waiting for the sticking to 'happen') and realize you Can trust yourself .
As to being "comfortable in my own skin" or believing enough in myself to trust that my resolve would hold , it got better and more "believable" and continues to grow ever since that moment.
Without the idea of quitting for good, the best we have is wishing for and wanting the negative consequences of our drinking to stop or be fixed until they happen again , allowing ourselves to drift from periods of drinking to periods of 'staving' it off or fighting the seemingly inevitable return to drinking. I proved to be too much of a wimp to handle all the back and forth, I just quit. Anyone can , decide to quit (not stop and hope it holds by waiting for the sticking to 'happen') and realize you Can trust yourself .
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,784
Originally Posted by Lance40
least - can you say more about this? This isn't the first time that I've heard someone talk about the benefits of a gratitude practice. I do occasionally take some time to think of a few things I am grateful for, but it's not really a practice. Do you mind explaining how you do this and what it does for you?
When my little dog wakes me up at 3 am to go out, I don't get irritated, but am grateful I have a computer to keep me company, and that we are blessed to live in a nice warm house.
I cherish my critters.
I spoil them rotten and am always loving them. I am grateful for so many things. When I first started practicing gratitude, it had to be forced. I was very depressed, and still in early months, and didn't feel very grateful for anything. But I made myself find at least one thing every day to be thankful for.
And it shifted my whole attitude. I now focus on the positive and no longer on the negative. I smile more. I feel better, physically and mentally.
Try it. It worked for me.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2015
Posts: 2,393
Really like what Tursiops said. I think that kind of progression is what I probably relate to. I don't know how long it will be before I really believe I can trust myself...so I'm trying not to worry about that. I'm just trying to keep the promises I make myself each day...this is new to me...not just about drinking, but also promises for a very small and manageable list of things that are progress for me. No one needs to know how basic is that list. I've not been a trustworthy guide to myself in a long time. Getting better. SR has been an incredible gift helping me see again how to live a day of my life.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2015
Posts: 2,580
Originally Posted by Lance40
least - can you say more about this? This isn't the first time that I've heard someone talk about the benefits of a gratitude practice. I do occasionally take some time to think of a few things I am grateful for, but it's not really a practice. Do you mind explaining how you do this and what it does for you?
I take a little time every morning (well, to be honest some days I forget) to sit quietly and write down a list of things I'm grateful for. Some things are on the list every morning, but new things come up all the time. It can be simple things.. .my morning cup of tea, the way the clouds look in the morning, the fact that I have heat in my house, a safe place to live, food in my refrigerator. Family members or friends that I love. The opportunity to work and make a living.
If you google something like "gratitude practice rewires your brain" you will see that there are scientific studies out there establishing that this literally alters the connections in your brain to reduce depression and increase happiness.
There's also a good book called "Hardwiring Happiness" by Rick Hanson that expands on this subject.
I would never have believed such a simple thing could be so powerful, but it has changed my mood and disposition quite noticeably.
Choosing Life
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Montana
Posts: 1,435
It "stuck" for me when I made a move to a new state thinking that I could leave the alcohol and all of its problems behind and start a new life. I was very hopeful that would happen. Well, it didn't. My drinking continued, and worse, after I moved. I blamed it on the stress of the move, getting unpacked and settled into a new house, all of the adjustments that I and my autistic son would have to make, etc.
It wasn't the stress, or the move, or any one of 1000 other things. It was me. I may have left a bunch of wreckage behind me, but I still brought ME with me. And that was the problem. It suddenly hit me that nothing was going to change - regardless of geography or anything else - unless I changed. My life was going to continue in a downward spiral whether I lived here or on Mars.
Great thread. Thank you to all who shared.
It wasn't the stress, or the move, or any one of 1000 other things. It was me. I may have left a bunch of wreckage behind me, but I still brought ME with me. And that was the problem. It suddenly hit me that nothing was going to change - regardless of geography or anything else - unless I changed. My life was going to continue in a downward spiral whether I lived here or on Mars.
Great thread. Thank you to all who shared.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: South Bay, So Cal
Posts: 6,124
I was 55 when I went into Detox at Kaiser, my health insurer here in So Cal. That moment I left my husband and 21 year old son behind the glass doors, I physically felt a burden was lifted.
That feeling grew while I was in a Women's Rehab. I learned about my disease, did what was asked of me, just followed directions. I haven't stopped learning, taking suggestions from my Sponsor, and am of Service. I take the words of AA , that this is a Program of Action, as just that.
Maybe because I was older when I gave up , "Surrendered" , that it "stuck". But, it has...for 3 years. I also know this disease waits around and so I do "work my program" daily. Life is precious, just lots more since I started my path.
Bobbi
That feeling grew while I was in a Women's Rehab. I learned about my disease, did what was asked of me, just followed directions. I haven't stopped learning, taking suggestions from my Sponsor, and am of Service. I take the words of AA , that this is a Program of Action, as just that.
Maybe because I was older when I gave up , "Surrendered" , that it "stuck". But, it has...for 3 years. I also know this disease waits around and so I do "work my program" daily. Life is precious, just lots more since I started my path.
Bobbi
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: California
Posts: 2,693
At one year it was completely normal and fine to not drink alcohol. I was so used to it it was no longer a positive or a negative. It was just normal. I no longer crave alcohol.
The first month I felt like A huge part of my life was missing and I didn't know what to do with myself.
The first month I felt like A huge part of my life was missing and I didn't know what to do with myself.
Trudgin
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 6,348
Originally Posted by tursiops999
I just wanted to chime in, along with least, about gratitude practice and how it works for me.
I take a little time every morning (well, to be honest some days I forget) to sit quietly and write down a list of things I'm grateful for. Some things are on the list every morning, but new things come up all the time. It can be simple things.. .my morning cup of tea, the way the clouds look in the morning, the fact that I have heat in my house, a safe place to live, food in my refrigerator. Family members or friends that I love. The opportunity to work and make a living.
If you google something like "gratitude practice rewires your brain" you will see that there are scientific studies out there establishing that this literally alters the connections in your brain to reduce depression and increase happiness.
There's also a good book called "Hardwiring Happiness" by Rick Hanson that expands on this subject.
I would never have believed such a simple thing could be so powerful, but it has changed my mood and disposition quite noticeably.
I take a little time every morning (well, to be honest some days I forget) to sit quietly and write down a list of things I'm grateful for. Some things are on the list every morning, but new things come up all the time. It can be simple things.. .my morning cup of tea, the way the clouds look in the morning, the fact that I have heat in my house, a safe place to live, food in my refrigerator. Family members or friends that I love. The opportunity to work and make a living.
If you google something like "gratitude practice rewires your brain" you will see that there are scientific studies out there establishing that this literally alters the connections in your brain to reduce depression and increase happiness.
There's also a good book called "Hardwiring Happiness" by Rick Hanson that expands on this subject.
I would never have believed such a simple thing could be so powerful, but it has changed my mood and disposition quite noticeably.
Tops - I'm going to check out the book recommendation - thanks
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