mue114

Dear Guys!
I'm Mate from Hungary, having alcohol problem, I feel a strong urge to drink on every second day. Having a hangover is a pieceful state because I dont hear my mind finding ways to drink.

4 years ago I tried to stop drinking. I could do it for half year.
It was not like having a weak moment grabbing the bottle again. It was like a feeling getting stronger month by month telling me my life was better when I was drinking.
When I went out with my friends I was bored, waiting just to go home.
When I met my brothers who I truly love, I was not in the mood to talk about myself nor ask them how they were doing. I was just bored, watching the clock when we can leave. I even received that from my family "hey Mate you seem you are not with us, you seem depressed, you seem ". And they were right. So I started to drink again, and my motivation came back to talk about myself, and inquire about the others, being active in the conversations and being the last one who wants to leave the meetings.
Now 4 years later, I'm thinking about stop drinking to avoid mind and body destruction.

But I'm afraid I will become a boring+bored person again with my friends and my family.

Anyone had some experience about these things?

Dee74

Hi and welcome Mue

I tried just not drinking before and it was pretty much doomed to failure because my whole life was geared to drinking.

Drinking made my old life tolerable - without it it was not a good life.

So, I had to stop drinking - and build a new sober life I could be happy in.

It's about finding new things to do - new interests and hobbies and new friends...really your life sober can be whatever you wnat it to be - all it needs is a little work and effort.

You'll find a lot of support here

D

least

I had to build a new life sober. Just not drinking wasn't enough, I had to make a whole new life. One of the things that helped me the most was being grateful for all my blessings in life. That helped change my attitude toward the positive.

Welcome to the family!

Anna

As others have said, it takes more than just not drinking. Are there changes in your lifestyle that might be helpful to you?

If you are depressed, it could be an idea to talk to your dr. and see if he has any suggestions.

teatreeoil007

It's a leap of faith.Its like a new birth. It's a path you used to walk before you ever started drinking. It's a restoration of mind/body/soul. It's accepting the help that is available. Welcome!

MIRecovery

For me discovering who I am is an on going processes. I am not the person I was when I drinking thank God. It took awhile to reinvent myself and the new me is someone I like warts and all when I look in the mirrors

Hevyn

Welcome, Mue! Good suggestions already - I hope you'll stay with us and keep talking.

mue114

Thanks for the answers.

>>> Are there changes in your lifestyle that might be helpful to you?

Well 4 years ago I started to go hiking again which was very good, but still not enough to pull me out of the boredom of the daily life routine. I have a feeling that I've lost some "essence of life", the ability to be enthusiastic, and this process can not be reversed. I can feel deep boredom and loneliness even playing with my young children who I love very much. From this boredome I didnt find any other way out, only alcohol. It wakes up my interest for other people, so I want to talk to them, hear their stories, I feel motivation to be funny. Without alcohol I want to be far away from social situations. What if actually alcohol is the last thing which can connect me to other people, my family? (they dont drink)

Im not here to say depressing thoughts. I want to know if any of you were in similar conditions and could come back.

loulou1981

Hey Mue, welcome. Yes i felt the same. I was so worried & i thought my life would be grey & dull without alcohol. My life did feel like that for a few weeks, but now i feel like a new person. Remember, those days when u were a kid, life was great & u had no idea about booze!!!
Things will get better, u just have to ride the storm 1st. Perhaps being honest with ur family might help as they seem to care alot about u

ubntubnt

I think you should stop drinking and use your sober time to think about whats really important to you in your life. Think about who you want to be, what you want to be and what is important to you. You will maybe find that your drinking lifestyle that you thought was ok actually was holding you back or even stopping you from thinking about these things.
Its not really about stoping drinking and finding something else to do but rather planning and taking steps to move towards a life that you will find more deeply rewarding.

endlesspatience

You say your family don't drink. Can you talk with someone in your family about your problem? It could be helpful to have their support.

blueberry2015

Excellent advice here.... getting sober and staying sober takes time. If you feel depressed then please see your doctor, my depression hit in around three months sober and I felt I was going out of my mind, I relapsed but learnt nothing changes or nothing is better whilst drinking infact its worse. You need to make sobreity work for you and it is hard at times. Its a completely new way of life, and it takes time to adjust. Its really really important that you get support during this transition, doctors, groups, counselling, therapy, taking up a new hobby or exercise etc etc whatever it takes, do it. Sobriety alas isnt handed on a plate, it takes work and it takes courage. Be gentle on yourself, seek the support you need your first step would be to see your doctor. Just because it is tough going it doesnt mean it cant be achieved and that you cant have a better life for yourself. I do understand what your going through at times it can seem like a losing battle, stuck between drink and depression IS hard but you can break that chain okay?! You CAN do it. Good luck x x x x

SoberinSyracuse

Of course! We all do! But if you think you're boring and life is boring sober, think about how bored you'll be in a coffin.

The longtime sober people here tell us it's all about forcing ourselves to find new friends and interests. Hey, I'm only on Day 9 so this feels very strange to me too. But this is the work we must do, so we might as well get busy and start doing it.

FreeOwl

It might feel 'worse' without alcohol, for a while.

But then again if you're like me and many others.... it will DEFINITELY be worse WITH alcohol.

And worse, and worse, and worse......

Fly N Buy

Really the biggest potential change for me in sobriety is perspective. It is the only thing I can truly control - how I view the world. This took a lot longer than six months for me and getting past the point of gee, I don't get to drink to yea, I don't want to drink. This was fundamental change and doesn't happen overnight.

As I got away from the selfish behavior of drinking, I gain(ed) more interest in those around me. I genuinely became interested in what other people thought and how they felt. This was not the case when I was drinking - I may have paid some amount of lip service to what you said, but it was all about me.

Sobriety for me isn't about para gliding or climbing Everest. It not about being the life of every function I attend. It is about being engaged with my fellow man and getting outside myself. Thinking that alcohol was the only way to fuel the fire is very, very dangerous thinking. The stimulating effects of those first couple drinks doesn't last - remember? My witty, clever repartee after an hour with the gang was like - blah, blah, blah - ya know how we should solve the worlds problems>>> Blah, blah, blah......

Grateful today that what I use to call boredom I now call serenity.......

Blacky

I know what you are feeling Mue, I felt dead inside when I quit before years ago. Our brains are changed by our use of alcohol and as said seeing a Dr. is what I eventually did. Over time things got better. Was I able to be the outgoing talkative sort I used to be ? .. no .. I had to work at things for a long while.

Now through many relapses I don't get as down as when I first quit and stayed sober for years because I know it got better and I eventually felt really good and was able to be social and function fine.

This time I went right into a treatment sort program along with seeing a Dr. for certain medications that help me.

Hang in there.

Soberwolf

Your going to need a plan

PurpleKnight

Welcome to the Forum Mue!!