Dream's 1st year in Recovery
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Toronto, Canada
Posts: 378
Dream's 1st year in Recovery
Hi All,
Dec 31 2014 was my last drunk before I decided to change my life for good and start the journey of recovery. I knew I had enough, I knew the good days were long gone. The future was full of gloom and just plain scary if I continued drinking.
This is when I made a decision.
Wow, what a year it has been. Despite some spectacular falls and several relapses, I stuck with it and never left, not even for a day. I didn't give up. I kept coming back. That perseverance was SO worth it.
I can honestly say that this has been the best year of my life.
It's mind blowing how many things I've learnt in this past 12 months.
Let me name a few, as maybe it can help a newcomer and also let me do it for myself, to keep track of my progress:
-anxiety - I used to think this fear, tension, constant rush, inner pressure etc were my natural state of being. My faithful companions, my personality. What a surprise it was to discover that all this was HUGELY alcohol related.
- social situations - that was such a big fear of mine. How do I ever go out and not drink? I can't tell you how much better socializing is sober. Without the constant 'where's my next round', 'why is this person I'm talking to drinking so slow', 'this buzz is not good enough I need more!' Take all this out of a situation and it's a different dimension of interacting with people.
-reward/pleasure/relaxation - one of the biggest lies we tell ourselves is how much we DESERVE a drink. There's so little benefit to getting drunk. Nothing compares to waking up sober, clear headed, without the impending doom of 'what did I do last night'
- living life on life's terms -it's not all unicorns and rainbows, there's bad days, there's challenges, there's LIFE. But I show up these days. I do my part. I don't cancel last minute, I don't hide in a bottle. Just by doing that, I feel good about myself. This is truly rewarding way of living.
- PAWS/Kindling - both very real. PAWS can be really tough and discouraging but one of the golden lessons is 'this too shall pass'. Recovery is a process. Kindling... I'm actually glad I experienced it - the anxiety after one night binge in a relapse lasting for days on end is possibly the main thing that made my decision to stay in recovery stick
- SPIRITUALITY - I could write a book about it. By far the best thing about recovery is discovering this completely new side of life. It's beyond words.
- it's all for myself - people, places, things. Triggers, reasons, excuses.
No one and nothing can make me take that first drink. It's always my own choice
- other people - I heard somewhere that the opposite of alcoholism is CONNECTION. One year in, this rings so true. My relationships with everybody around me have changed. Deepened. I'm less and less self centered and selfish. What a relief that is.
- self respect, dignity, confidence - still work in progress for me. But I am starting to see that there's forgiveness and there's redemption. There's hope.
- gratitude - that was a new word for me as well. Now I get to experience it everyday, multiple times.
I could go on. I'll simply sum up by saying: Recovery is the best thing that has ever happened to me.
Thank you, SR community, for being a huge part of it.
If you're new and struggling, don't give up. You have it in you, we all do. Keep at it and one day you'll get it.
Grateful
IfYouCanDream
Dec 31 2014 was my last drunk before I decided to change my life for good and start the journey of recovery. I knew I had enough, I knew the good days were long gone. The future was full of gloom and just plain scary if I continued drinking.
This is when I made a decision.
Wow, what a year it has been. Despite some spectacular falls and several relapses, I stuck with it and never left, not even for a day. I didn't give up. I kept coming back. That perseverance was SO worth it.
I can honestly say that this has been the best year of my life.
It's mind blowing how many things I've learnt in this past 12 months.
Let me name a few, as maybe it can help a newcomer and also let me do it for myself, to keep track of my progress:
-anxiety - I used to think this fear, tension, constant rush, inner pressure etc were my natural state of being. My faithful companions, my personality. What a surprise it was to discover that all this was HUGELY alcohol related.
- social situations - that was such a big fear of mine. How do I ever go out and not drink? I can't tell you how much better socializing is sober. Without the constant 'where's my next round', 'why is this person I'm talking to drinking so slow', 'this buzz is not good enough I need more!' Take all this out of a situation and it's a different dimension of interacting with people.
-reward/pleasure/relaxation - one of the biggest lies we tell ourselves is how much we DESERVE a drink. There's so little benefit to getting drunk. Nothing compares to waking up sober, clear headed, without the impending doom of 'what did I do last night'
- living life on life's terms -it's not all unicorns and rainbows, there's bad days, there's challenges, there's LIFE. But I show up these days. I do my part. I don't cancel last minute, I don't hide in a bottle. Just by doing that, I feel good about myself. This is truly rewarding way of living.
- PAWS/Kindling - both very real. PAWS can be really tough and discouraging but one of the golden lessons is 'this too shall pass'. Recovery is a process. Kindling... I'm actually glad I experienced it - the anxiety after one night binge in a relapse lasting for days on end is possibly the main thing that made my decision to stay in recovery stick
- SPIRITUALITY - I could write a book about it. By far the best thing about recovery is discovering this completely new side of life. It's beyond words.
- it's all for myself - people, places, things. Triggers, reasons, excuses.
No one and nothing can make me take that first drink. It's always my own choice
- other people - I heard somewhere that the opposite of alcoholism is CONNECTION. One year in, this rings so true. My relationships with everybody around me have changed. Deepened. I'm less and less self centered and selfish. What a relief that is.
- self respect, dignity, confidence - still work in progress for me. But I am starting to see that there's forgiveness and there's redemption. There's hope.
- gratitude - that was a new word for me as well. Now I get to experience it everyday, multiple times.
I could go on. I'll simply sum up by saying: Recovery is the best thing that has ever happened to me.
Thank you, SR community, for being a huge part of it.
If you're new and struggling, don't give up. You have it in you, we all do. Keep at it and one day you'll get it.
Grateful
IfYouCanDream
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Toronto, Canada
Posts: 378
Originally Posted by soberwolf 
Amazing job reaching a year congratulations IfyoucanDream
To clarify - I have 46 days of continuous sobriety - I did relapse several time since I started. Today marks my 1 year since the beginning of recovery.
You can have reasons, or you can have results, but you can't have both.
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Syracuse, NY
Posts: 1,232
This was inspirational to me, because I'm new here, and my quit date is January 11. And I'm soooooo nervous about what I'll find on the other side!!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Toronto, Canada
Posts: 378
Thank you all for your kind words!
I don't post a ton, but I read everyday and I can't say enough about this wonderful community. It's been vital in my recovery and a crucial part of my plan (top three along with my 12 steps program - AA and holistic approach to living well)
May we all have a sober 2016. ONWARDS!
I don't post a ton, but I read everyday and I can't say enough about this wonderful community. It's been vital in my recovery and a crucial part of my plan (top three along with my 12 steps program - AA and holistic approach to living well)
May we all have a sober 2016. ONWARDS!
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