Hello
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Mobile, AL
Posts: 2
Hello
I've spent the day reading postsnon this website. I am here because my 31 yr old daughter has begun using needles.she moved in with us along with her daughter, now 8 five yes ago. They moved out a few months back when tensions over missing money and medications, (full disclosure: I suffer from lupus, sjogrens, fibromyalgia. And chronic pain and take opioids to controll my pain) her not working, and having questionable friends at our home when we were gone.
She and her daughter moved out va few months back. Within two months, she had a new boyfriend living with her and called me to comentobher apt b\c he had died of an overdose.
Since then, her daughter has been living with usvandbher drug use has escalated to the point that we rarely sees her daughter and when she does visit, she sleeps through the visit and only stsysvs short while.
My granddaughter seems to be doing fine. She's happy and doesn't nd has ask about her mom at all.
I'm lost and heartbroken. She refuses to discuss rehab and says she plans on living this life until she dies. I've cut off all help with money. I've taken the keys and garage door opener and keep my meds locked up. I'm considering filing for custody of my granddaughter so I'll have control over her visits with her mother and can be sure I can get medical help for her. I don't know what to do at this point.
Thanks for listening.
She and her daughter moved out va few months back. Within two months, she had a new boyfriend living with her and called me to comentobher apt b\c he had died of an overdose.
Since then, her daughter has been living with usvandbher drug use has escalated to the point that we rarely sees her daughter and when she does visit, she sleeps through the visit and only stsysvs short while.
My granddaughter seems to be doing fine. She's happy and doesn't nd has ask about her mom at all.
I'm lost and heartbroken. She refuses to discuss rehab and says she plans on living this life until she dies. I've cut off all help with money. I've taken the keys and garage door opener and keep my meds locked up. I'm considering filing for custody of my granddaughter so I'll have control over her visits with her mother and can be sure I can get medical help for her. I don't know what to do at this point.
Thanks for listening.
Behold the power of NO
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: WA
Posts: 7,764
Welcome to SR
I am so sorry for what brings you here but I am glad you found us. You will find a lot of support here. I cannot even start to imagine the kind of pain you are in as a mom.
Thank god for grandmas and I definitely think that doing whatever it takes to protect your granddaughter including filing for custody is good.
Two other sectionsof SR where you will find other parents dealing with their child's addiction are here
NEW! Family Members of Addicts and Alcoholics - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
and here
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...tance-abusers/
You probably feel very alone but just know that you have us now
I am so sorry for what brings you here but I am glad you found us. You will find a lot of support here. I cannot even start to imagine the kind of pain you are in as a mom.
Thank god for grandmas and I definitely think that doing whatever it takes to protect your granddaughter including filing for custody is good.
Two other sectionsof SR where you will find other parents dealing with their child's addiction are here
NEW! Family Members of Addicts and Alcoholics - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
and here
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...tance-abusers/
You probably feel very alone but just know that you have us now
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 9,029
I'm sorry that you're going through this. It's so painful. It's so important that your granddaughter have kind, loving, stability in her life. Please reach out here for support. You aren't alone even though you probably feel that way. If you can see an attorney, I'd suggest doing so to find out what your options might be with regard to custody.
Hang in there
Hang in there
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 6,902
It sounds like you are doing lots already, and that you are doing everything you can. Unfortunately, no-one will recover on the strength of others wanting them to. She needs to want it for herself.
What you can do, and are doing, is looking after yourself, and your granddaughter. I know she has not spoken much about her mother, but that doesn't mean that the effects of her life with your daughter, and things she has seen and experienced aren't still with her. It might be worth looking into some counselling for her at some point. Have you explored support for yourself as well? Somewhere you can speak to others who have lived with the pain of an addicted loved one, and how to manage the feelings and practicalities that this situation throws at you? I know many get a lot out of AlAnon and similar.
It might be worth posting your thread in the Friends and Family area as well to get more responses.
The Alcoholism and Addictions Help Forums- by SoberRecovery.com
What you can do, and are doing, is looking after yourself, and your granddaughter. I know she has not spoken much about her mother, but that doesn't mean that the effects of her life with your daughter, and things she has seen and experienced aren't still with her. It might be worth looking into some counselling for her at some point. Have you explored support for yourself as well? Somewhere you can speak to others who have lived with the pain of an addicted loved one, and how to manage the feelings and practicalities that this situation throws at you? I know many get a lot out of AlAnon and similar.
It might be worth posting your thread in the Friends and Family area as well to get more responses.
The Alcoholism and Addictions Help Forums- by SoberRecovery.com
Member
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: NSW - Australia
Posts: 14,596
I am so sorry too for what you are going through and though I do not know the full circumstances think that gaining custody of your granddaughter is a good idea. She needs the stability. Sometimes when a mother is faced with the loss of a child it has them do something about their addiction. Operative word 'sometimes'. Stay posted and talk with others who understand and have the lived experience. 
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