Back after ruining a friendship, the lowest I've ever been
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Posts: 507
Hi Goblet,
The real beauty of sobriety is knowing that I can take full ownership of everything I say and do from now on. I'll know what I said and why I said it. I may still say and do dumb things, but I'll understand where they came from and why they made sense to me at the time.
But when drinking, I used to find that at the point blackouts would kick in, I said or did things that just made no sense. To take one random example, someone told me I was telling everyone my mother is fat. She isn't. Where the Hell did that come from?
And believe me, I said, or did, many much, much worse things than that. But equally non-sensical.
The one thing I would say is that of all the horrible, humiliating things you could do, telling someone you love them isn't the worst. Awkward, yes. But your confusing brotherly love with romantic love while incredibly drunk (assuming that's more or less what happened) is something your friend can hopefully deal with.
I'm a straight male and had what I thought was a straight male friend tell me his cross dressing alter-ego was in love with me. Now that was a tricky one to process. But much to my surprise, after I said I was a bit uncomfortable about that, we just set it aside and carried on being friends.
The world is an interesting place to live in.
The real beauty of sobriety is knowing that I can take full ownership of everything I say and do from now on. I'll know what I said and why I said it. I may still say and do dumb things, but I'll understand where they came from and why they made sense to me at the time.
But when drinking, I used to find that at the point blackouts would kick in, I said or did things that just made no sense. To take one random example, someone told me I was telling everyone my mother is fat. She isn't. Where the Hell did that come from?
And believe me, I said, or did, many much, much worse things than that. But equally non-sensical.
The one thing I would say is that of all the horrible, humiliating things you could do, telling someone you love them isn't the worst. Awkward, yes. But your confusing brotherly love with romantic love while incredibly drunk (assuming that's more or less what happened) is something your friend can hopefully deal with.
I'm a straight male and had what I thought was a straight male friend tell me his cross dressing alter-ego was in love with me. Now that was a tricky one to process. But much to my surprise, after I said I was a bit uncomfortable about that, we just set it aside and carried on being friends.
The world is an interesting place to live in.
Sober Alcoholic
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 3,539
Shame, it's insidious and destructive. There is an interesting book that I believe you may find quite beneficial. It's called "Power vs. Force" by David Hawkins.
I take that back. I don't think you will find it beneficial, I know that you will.
I take that back. I don't think you will find it beneficial, I know that you will.
EndGame
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 4,677
When I'm drinking, I am what I do, which is equally true as when I'm sober. It's not a demon that takes over or a false self. Who and what I am when I'm drinking is who and what I'm capable of being, and when being that way was no longer acceptable for me, I needed to stop drinking. I needed to make peace with this in order to make progress in my sobriety, in my life.
You want to make things right with your friend and with your other friends who stopped inviting you out? You want to sleep at night with a clear conscience? Get sober, and stay sober. No matter what.
You want to make things right with your friend and with your other friends who stopped inviting you out? You want to sleep at night with a clear conscience? Get sober, and stay sober. No matter what.
Guest
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: Michigan
Posts: 772
I am 25 and have been sober a few years. Some people drink on occassions but most people don't drink the way I did. The way I drank is very much like the way all of you drink, uncontrollably. Anyways what I am trying to say is all of the relationships I have damaged in the past have been rebuilt because I wanted to stay sober more than I wanted to drink and I did my best to be the best person I can be by trying to do the right things. You may not be able to fix those mistakes but you can try, and it all begins with putting down that drink. You should consider going back to AA and getting a sponsor. I tell people the answer lies in the steps, and a sponsor will help you work them. You can meet a whole group of new sober friends. That's one of the greatest parts about AA, the support that comes from the fellowship. Goodluck!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Canada
Posts: 7,837
Awww ( (((hug)))
Oh boy.... I've done some pretty humiliating and dangerous things during a blackout, my favourite was when I slept with a local man on a trip in an HIV endemic zone without a condom and had to get tested for HIV for 6 months after that to get a clear negative- that was awesome....
If you quit drinking these things stop happening
Xoxo
I also lied constantly in my blackouts too, for no reason, even dumb things like lying about my zodiac sign- why lie about that haha
Oh boy.... I've done some pretty humiliating and dangerous things during a blackout, my favourite was when I slept with a local man on a trip in an HIV endemic zone without a condom and had to get tested for HIV for 6 months after that to get a clear negative- that was awesome....
If you quit drinking these things stop happening
Xoxo
I also lied constantly in my blackouts too, for no reason, even dumb things like lying about my zodiac sign- why lie about that haha
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