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Old 02-09-2016, 11:40 PM
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Get well soon Zelda
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Old 02-10-2016, 05:16 AM
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Hump day is here again and it's the start of day 25. I woke up feeling nice and refreshed this morning. I never get tired of that feeling! I packed a morning and afternoon snack and I think I'm going to venture out for a sandwich today for lunch. I need to get out of the office for a bit this afternoon to break things up. Here's to a sober and enjoyable day! Be well all!
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Old 02-10-2016, 08:25 PM
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Day 25 was another one of those somewhat uneventful days that you just need sometimes. Work was slow with only a few tasks to handle so I spent a lot of the day walking around the office just to get some exercise and to chat with people. My coworker was in a bad mood today so I steered clear of her as much as possible, haha. She actually said my positivity was annoying her and she didn't know where it had come from suddenly. She's well aware I have issues with alcohol and can tell I've been sober so she knows. I'm her manager so when I used to disappear for days at a time and come in looking terrible and smelling of booze it was no mystery what was going on. She just doesn't want to say the words out loud.

I'm beginning to think she enjoyed the hungover and shut-in version of me better. She better get used to the more outgoing and cheerful version because I intend for it to stick around. I have no time for negativity anymore so I decided to chat with the fun people today in my free time. I will say that I can see now how being in a relationship that started when you were drinking can be difficult when you sober up. While mine may be a working relationship, I still spend a great deal of time with this person and my sobriety has changed the dynamic of how we interact. I can only imagine how it could be extra tricky in a romantic relationship.

I was talking with a friend who I use as a resource to keep me on track today. She asked me how many days I had now and I told her 25 and counting. We chatted awhile about how I feel and where my head is at near the one month mark. She said she can really tell I'm committed this time more than ever. I told her that I've been keeping a journal on a recovery site that I post to with a short post in the morning to start my day and a longer post in the evening to reflect on how the day went and to find things to be thankful for each and every day.

She was surprised by this and asked how I find the time to do it daily. I told her that taking 30 minutes to an hour out of each day to put my thoughts into words to share with others sure beats losing days at a time to being drunk. The energy used to share here gives me the freedom to be sober the other 23 hours of the day and hopefully gives others some perspective on the journey as well. She said she may actually start doing the same thing just for her own personal reference. I highly encouraged it. It was a nice talk and felt great to have someone so encouraging to lift me up and keep me on track.

When I got home, I made a burrito out of some leftovers for dinner and it was surprisingly tasty. It's super cold here again so I spent most of the rest of the evening in front of the space heater with the cat watching Netflix and just staying warm. When it was time for me to go to bed, kitty wasn't happy when I turned off the heater as he was enjoying it as much as I was. Now he's walking around the house meowing in protest, haha.

When I first got sober, I was really concerned that I wouldn't be able to find enough things to occupy my time. I couldn't have been more wrong about that. The days seem to fly by and I can't believe I've been sober for almost a month now. I'm so thankful to actually be enjoying my time and to be doing so sober. My AV kicked in a few times today but I immediately shut it down as I have been doing. I simply tell myself "I don't drink and I will never drink again" and it goes away. I wouldn't even call it a craving so much as someone knocking at the door and me telling them to leave. It comes and goes in a matter of about 10 seconds and then I carry on with what I was doing. Each time I practice this, the easier it becomes and it's becoming second nature to just deny the urges and go about my day. It's taken practice and discipline to get to this point but it's working.

So today was one filled with lots of interacting with others, some work and enjoying my time to myself. It was a day 99.9% free of any thoughts of alcohol use and overall just very enjoyable and peaceful. Each day like this is a gift and I cherish them. It would be impossible to feel this way drinking so it just makes my sobriety that much more precious to me.

I hope everyone out there is doing well. As the weekend fast approaches, if this will be your first sober weekend it's time to make a plan. Getting that first weekend behind you is a huge step and we are only a few days away. I'm very much looking forward to the weekend and it's no longer a scary thing to me. I'm sending positive energy out there to everyone just starting out to make this a good one. If you really want to quit, you can do it and now is the time. Let's all make this a great sober end to the week and weekend! As always, thanks to everyone who continues to inspire me with comments here and in other threads and for encouraging me to keep this journal going. It's been such a great tool. You are all wonderful!
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Old 02-11-2016, 05:33 AM
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Day 26 and the weekend is almost here! Slept great last night and really, really didn't want to get out of my warm bed this morning. It's a cold one out there today! Lunch is packed and I'm ready for another productive day. I'm going to have to find something new to watch on Netflix tonight since I finished up Better Call Saul last night. Maybe I will hunt for something over lunch to be prepared. Here's to a good Thursday and I hope everyone is well!
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Old 02-11-2016, 05:38 AM
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Congrats on the 26 days ZeldaFan!
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Old 02-11-2016, 05:44 AM
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Old 02-11-2016, 09:40 PM
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Day 26 has come and gone and it's now technically day 27 since I'm making this entry so late. Today was wonderful. I woke up feeling great and in a good mood and I carried that with me throughout the day. My coworker was in better spirits today as well. Perhaps I am rubbing off on her. My taxes were accepted by the IRS and the State today so that's something I can officially check off my list for the year and I finished up the last of the items I had to take care of for an upcoming conference next month. I'm sending my coworker in my place since I know there is a lot of drinking and after parties at this conference. This early in my sobriety, if I don't have to put myself in a difficult situation then I'm not going to take the chance. No need to push things when I'm still getting my permanent sober legs. She's excited to go since she hasn't gone to one without me or someone from marketing before and it will be a good experience for her so it's a win-win all around.

The workday went by fast and before I knew it 5:30 had rolled around and it was time to head home. When I arrived, I decided to use what was left of my pulled BBQ chicken in an omelette for dinner. It actually turned out delicious! I love stumbling upon new recipes from using up leftovers. I started watching The Blacklist on Netflix and then I got a call from a friend I hadn't spoken to in a couple of years. When I saw the phone ring I was shocked to see her name come up.

She is one of those friends I just lost touch with during my heavy drinking years. We went to college together and were good friends by the end so I'm glad she reached out. We talked for hours and I told her about all the struggles I've been through since 2009 when I last regularly spoke with her and she talked about her issues with an engagement she's unsure about. It was great for both of us to have an outlet and to reconnect after all these years. When the call was over, I felt so thankful to have gotten sober when I did so I could actually be engaged in the call and enjoy being able to catch up and know I will remember the phone call and know I didn't say anything stupid.

That pretty much took up the remainder of my night and now I'm tucked away in bed on another cold February night late. I will likely be tired tomorrow but that's fine since it's Friday and I will be able to sleep in Saturday and catch up on my sleep. My AV apparently took a vacation today as I didn't hear from that nasty beast once. It can stay wherever it went off to forever as far as I'm concerned but I know it will return. With no souvenir no doubt other than trying to get me to drink since that's what it wants. So rude. That's why we broke up forever so I will tell it to go away when it comes back around.

The weekend is almost here and I'm ready to make this sober weekend number four. I'm really looking forward to this weekend and I'm not feeling anxious about it at all. I'm just excited to know I have two full day to do whatever I want sober and enjoy my time off. I'm really hoping to see as many people as possible joining in on the weekender thread and posting that they are enjoying a sober weekend as well. There are lots of first time sober weekends coming up for people it would seem so I'm sending positive sober energy out into the SR digital world for all those taking that journey. Once you get one under your belt, the next is so much easier. By my third weekend, I was starting to really enjoy it. Be strong, post here often and reach out if the AV starts to try to break your resolve. Let's do this sober weekend thing! Be well everyone and happy Friday!

P.S. soberwolf, I'm loving the Corgi with glasses photo you are rocking in your signature at the moment. It puts a smile on my face every time I scroll down and see one of your posts.
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Old 02-11-2016, 10:01 PM
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Have a good weekend ZF- congrats on 27 days
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Old 02-12-2016, 05:27 AM
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It's day 27 and it's Friday! I'm a bit sleepy this morning from being up so late last night but the weekend is almost here so I will be able to sleep in and get rested up. I'm really looking forward to this sober weekend and enjoying my time. I have a list of things to do so I know I will keep busy and I'm sure it will fly by. I have an annoying conference call with a group of people that usually ruffle my feathers today so I'm mentally prepared for that. I'm going to make the best of it and avoid any confrontations just to get through. I'm keeping a positive attitude as I close out the week. I'm grocery shopping later tonight for some more crockpot goodness this weekend. Happy Friday everyone at be well!
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Old 02-12-2016, 05:49 AM
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Hope the conference call goes well Zelda just repeat the mantra 'its friday its friday its friday' lol

Were here for you all the way congrats on day 27
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Old 02-12-2016, 06:27 AM
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Thanks soberworlf! I will definitely be repeating that, haha. At least this time I won't be on day 4 like the last time I had to deal with this group. That was particularly trying. I'm far more stable this time around.
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Old 02-12-2016, 10:41 PM
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Day 27 is complete and it's now day 28 and the four week mark since I'm, once again, up late. But, tonight is Friday and I can sleep as long as I wish tomorrow so all is well. I felt great today after I got to work and got the day underway. It took a cup of coffee before I really felt awake but then all was well. Work went smoothly today and the conference call I was worried about could not have gone better. The materials I submitted last week were well received and I think I'm on a good path with the new management group. Looking back a few weeks when I was considering taking the offer to walk seems like forever ago with all I've accomplished since then. I wanted to show that I was a valuable and reliable asset to the company and I feel as if I'm doing just that. I'm glad I decided to stay.

Lunch was a salad and some melon fruit on the side after a snack earlier in the morning of almonds and some low-fat string cheese. I'm starting to notice I'm feeling better and have more energy now that I'm eating better. That, paired with not drinking and not smoking, are starting to show benefits. It's amazing how our bodies really do show appreciation when we make the right choices and how they fall apart when we are being irresponsible. I'm so thankful to have pulled out of my downward spiral to start heading back in the right direction!

I had some downtime near the end of the workday and had been hearing about a game for PS4 called Unravel. I decided to watch some reviews and then ended up buying it on the Playstation Store. I needed something to motivate me to actually reorganize my entertainment center and finally hook up my PS4 from Christmas. Afterwards, I couldn't wait to get home to do just that. I also picked up a digital download code for The Last of Us Remastered on the cheap thanks to Amazon. The last hour of the day went by very slow as the excitement grew in me to get home and get to gaming. I felt like my teenage self again.

I got home, had a quick dinner and then got to work hooking up everything. After the game downloaded, I figured I would play it for an hour or so. That, of course, turned into many hours and at about 1:00 AM I decided it was time to call it a night. I have some other projects planned for the next few weekends involving getting organized and turning my middle bedroom into a storage room with shelves, bookcases and a pullout couch. Right now it's just a dumping ground for random stuff so I need to rent a dumpster and get that cleared out and organized. Between that, my games, my vape hobby, cooking and taking care of the house, I've got my next few weekends booked up. I can't believe I used to just blow weeks at a time doing nothing but drinking and smoking. I have so much I want to do now that the thought of doing nothing seems absurd.

My AV was silent today which is odd for a Friday but I think having so much stuff planned out kept it silent. I even went to the store around 8:45 do to my grocery shopping for the week. Friday night is my grocery shopping time as most people are done at that point and I can get in and out quickly. I'm just so incredibly thankful to actually be excited about the things that used to make me so happy and to feel like my old, pre-drinking life is coming back to me.

At this point, I'm starting to unwind in my warm bed and I'm getting very sleepy. I'm looking forward to the rest of my weekend and getting planning started for my projects tomorrow. I hope a lot of people are making this a sober weekend. If you are struggling, keep trying and don't give up. After four weeks, I'm so thankful I got through the first weekend and really got to work on staying dedicated to my sobriety. It's been the best thing I could have ever done. Don't give up and know it really does get better. Let the sober weekend begin!
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Old 02-12-2016, 10:55 PM
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Congratulations on 4 weeks ZF

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Old 02-13-2016, 02:20 AM
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Congrats Zelda have a nice day
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Old 02-13-2016, 03:18 AM
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Congratulations of four weeks Zeldafan!!
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Old 02-13-2016, 08:11 AM
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The morning of day 28 is almost over already thanks to a nice long sleep-in. I woke up around my usual time just out of habit but quickly went right back to sleep. Then I didn't wake up until after 10 AM and felt great. I grabbed a shower, made myself a cup of coffee and now I'm ready to fix a late breakfast to get the day rolling. Happy Saturday everyone!
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Old 02-13-2016, 11:39 AM
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Congratulations on reaching the 4-week mark, Zelda!
You're doing great.
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Old 02-13-2016, 11:41 AM
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Congratulations Zelda! You're doing great!
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Old 02-13-2016, 08:44 PM
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Day 28 is winding down and it was a good one. Thanks for all the congratulations and well wishes on my four week mark today around the forums. It feels great to be a month in and already experiencing so many of the wonderful things sobriety brings. I was worried my AV would start to kick in around this point since that's when it usually does but I had no desire to drink at all today. I just enjoyed my day to myself and had a nice peaceful Saturday.

After a nice long night of sleep, I fixed a very late breakfast that carried me through until dinner. I had a turkey sandwich and potato wedges around 7:00 after chatting with my mom for over an hour. I also enjoyed some Netflix and browsing around on the internet as well as planning my upcoming projects. The afternoon flew by so fast I didn't even realize it until the sun started to set. I can't think of the last time that happened to me on a weekend. I had let alcohol make me forget all the things I enjoy and they are coming back to me now. I feel like there just isn't enough time in the day to do everything I want to do now and that's a great feeling.

I dusted off my Kindle and got it charged up today since there are a few books on quitting drinking I would like to read and they are cheaper on the Kindle. I figure you can never read too much on the topic. It will keep me sharp and give me even more tools for when I need to shut down the AV and stay strong. Things have been quiet for awhile now but I know there is going to be a day when I'm going to need to have as much information and tools at my disposal as I can to make sure I stay on the right track. My biggest mistake when I had my nearly eight month sober run was getting complacent and thinking I had kicked the problem. I will not let that happen to me again this time. I have learned from my mistakes.

Tomorrow should be another low key day. It's supposed to snow all day and I have laundry and cleaning to take care of. I also plan to make some bbq ranch chicken tacos with a crockpot recipe I found. I'm really looking forward to that and having the leftovers for lunch on Monday. I also plan to get some quality PS4 gaming time in between chores and probably shoveling some snow. We haven't really gotten much snow this year so I look forward to seeing a few inches tomorrow to make it really feel like winter instead of just being overcast and in the 40s like it has been most of this winter so far.

I'm actually pretty tired tonight even though I slept in and it feels nice. It sounds weird to be excited about being tired but I forgot how wonderful it is to naturally fall asleep and stay asleep the entire night. I used to wake up to a guy starting his truck at 4:30 / 5:00 AM to let it warm up every single morning when I was drinking. Now, I never wake up to it. The drinking just had me in such a light and restless sleep that the slightest things would wake me up. Now, I sleep so soundly I don't wake up to much of anything. I have been having some odd dreams but I know that's just my brain sending strange signals as it repairs itself and gets back to a normal chemistry now that I have removed alcohol from being there to mess up the connections up there.

Tomorrow marks the start of week number five and I'm so grateful to be able to say that. I really didn't know if I was going to pull out of my last relapse and now I feel great about my choice to never drink again. It feels natural and calming to me to know I never have to deal with that again. If you are just starting out, stick with it because it does get so much better as the weeks add up. I'm a completely different person now than I was just four weeks ago. It went by fast but also seems like an eternity has passed since the night I was so sick from drinking that I had uncontrollable hiccups that kept causing me to vomit up blood. That was my lowest point and I will never forget it. So today, I'm incredibly grateful to know I never have to do that again and to be getting back to my old, happy, confident and funny self again. Stay strong, be well and have a great Sunday everyone!
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Old 02-13-2016, 10:54 PM
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Wow just read all your posts ZeldaFan ... what an inspiration...and what a great idea making yourself journal here ... even if no one read it....which obviously heaps of people do....I look forward to more of your posts...(maybe even try it myself)
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