Another relapse...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: West Coast - USA
Posts: 81
I have a lot of shame and embarrassment. I recently started to open up again. My family is still heavily involved with a cult. So much that it has wrecked my life in ways that is hard for me to 100% open up about. I recently went through a breakdown....it's hard to admit but I did. I hit bottom. I just couldn’t take it anymore. For the past 7 years I've been living as an outcast in my own home.
Member
Join Date: May 2015
Location: USA
Posts: 740
Delta, I'm so sorry about the shame you feel about your family and about your relapse. But the fact that you're back here is great. I guess now it's time to put together a solid plan to get sober and stay sober. You have our support!
Delfin
Delfin
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: West Coast - USA
Posts: 81
The thing is I just finished a 4 week IOP, was going to AA every day or every other day, and got a sponsor. I just don't understand. I know that there is more to being sober than just "working the program". I feel like I can't stay sober being w/ my current situation. I'm at the tail end of my career and really need a change.
Trudgin
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 6,348
DB - you've taken some admirable first steps. Consider trudging through - I had to take action(step work) without understanding or faith at first and then see results. I couldn't jump ahead, it simply did not work. The same brain that kept me sick couldn't make me well. I had to change and the program did that for me.
From page 98 in our book - He clamors for this or that, claiming he cannot master alcohol until his material needs are cared for. Nonsense. Some of us have taken very hard knocks to learn this truth: Job or no job - wife or no wife - we simply do not stop drinking so long as we place dependence upon other people ahead of dependence on God.
Burn the idea into the consciousness of every man that he can get well regardless of anyone(anything).The only condition is that he trust in God and clean house
I stayed drunk for many years waiting for everything to be in perfect alignment to quit drinking.........It simply never was in my alcoholic mind.
The best time to quit is while we are still alive, today.
Consider calling your sponsor and go to a meeting - ask others about the perfect time to quit, it's a good topic
peace
From page 98 in our book - He clamors for this or that, claiming he cannot master alcohol until his material needs are cared for. Nonsense. Some of us have taken very hard knocks to learn this truth: Job or no job - wife or no wife - we simply do not stop drinking so long as we place dependence upon other people ahead of dependence on God.
Burn the idea into the consciousness of every man that he can get well regardless of anyone(anything).The only condition is that he trust in God and clean house
I stayed drunk for many years waiting for everything to be in perfect alignment to quit drinking.........It simply never was in my alcoholic mind.
The best time to quit is while we are still alive, today.
Consider calling your sponsor and go to a meeting - ask others about the perfect time to quit, it's a good topic
peace
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
Everyone who has been successful in recovery had a last time.
Pretty much everyone who has been successful in long term recovery began that successful recovery with 'another relapse'.
Take the energy you might otherwise use beating yourself up with shame and regret and instead direct it into making this the beginning of your success.
Pretty much everyone who has been successful in long term recovery began that successful recovery with 'another relapse'.
Take the energy you might otherwise use beating yourself up with shame and regret and instead direct it into making this the beginning of your success.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,456
Originally Posted by DeltaBravo 
The thing is I just finished a 4 week IOP, was going to AA every day or every other day, and got a sponsor. I just don't understand. I know that there is more to being sober than just "working the program". I feel like I can't stay sober being w/ my current situation. I'm at the tail end of my career and really need a change.
but is drinking really making any difference to the situation?
It's not for them, and it doesn't look like it's helping you either.
Have you considered counselling at all to try and find some healthy non destructive ways to deal with this?
D
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: West Coast - USA
Posts: 81
Thank you everyone. It means a lot to hear your words. I'm in the process of seeing a therapist and getting some help in my situation with my family. I've been talking and opening up to a lot of people (family/friends) about this situation. For the first time the shroud of me "having it all together" has been removed. I was just too damn proud to expose myself.
Yesterday I went to a function at my job and they had a keg of beer. No cravings or urges....I showed up made an appearance and left.
Yesterday I went to a function at my job and they had a keg of beer. No cravings or urges....I showed up made an appearance and left.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 8,704
Hi DeltaBravo, I admire you strength and courage. I cannot imagine how difficult it must be. I don't have any magical words of advice other than I think you did the right thing by reaching out. And great job showing strength and resolve by making an appearance and leaving. Please keep us posted?
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