What do YOU do , I'm lost
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Auckland, New Zealand
Posts: 165
[QUOTE=OpenTuning;5690956]Hi,
I also found Allen Carr's How to Control Your Drinking really useful. He effectively demolished all the reasons my AV was using to try and get me to drink.
Definitely going to check this out - thanks
Sounds like exactly what I need.
Snoozy, I am on day 3 (but have tried quitting before). This is my plan this time around: use SR as much as possible because it is convenient and I actually really find online support and communities effective; I am a creative person so I must engage creatively every day - this usually means journaling everyday, taking photos, writing, blogging, and I do a bit of art journaling which I find incredibly theraputic; I do go to regular psychotherapy sessions so will be keeping that up in the New Year because we must address the reasons why we drink (for me I know it's a childhood trauma and family loss and on-going feelings of a lack of self-worth); I will practice mindfulness and I also really want to experiment with meditation.
I hope that helps... 
I also found Allen Carr's How to Control Your Drinking really useful. He effectively demolished all the reasons my AV was using to try and get me to drink.
Definitely going to check this out - thanks
Sounds like exactly what I need. Snoozy, I am on day 3 (but have tried quitting before). This is my plan this time around: use SR as much as possible because it is convenient and I actually really find online support and communities effective; I am a creative person so I must engage creatively every day - this usually means journaling everyday, taking photos, writing, blogging, and I do a bit of art journaling which I find incredibly theraputic; I do go to regular psychotherapy sessions so will be keeping that up in the New Year because we must address the reasons why we drink (for me I know it's a childhood trauma and family loss and on-going feelings of a lack of self-worth); I will practice mindfulness and I also really want to experiment with meditation.
I hope that helps...
Member
Join Date: May 2015
Location: USA
Posts: 740
I changed my life. Got rid of people and activities that might lead to drinking and replaced them with other activities. I always have a non alcoholic drink available for times when I have to drink something. The ritual, you know. And everything Melina does too. Lots of quit lit. Whenever I get an idea to drink I come here and read and read and read. It chases away the cravings. I'm only at 5 months but it's working thus far.
Keep at it!
Delfin
Keep at it!
Delfin
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,445
some really good responses here Snooz - I still say the bottom line of any recovery plan is saying no to that next drink
Originally Posted by Dee74 
I think most folks know my story.
The turning point for me was acceptance - acceptance that I was an alcoholic - and the acceptance that I could not drink 'like everyone else'.
So I stopped drinking. I did everything I could to maintain that commitment. I still do, nearly 3 years on - every day.
I nearly died, so fear played a large part in that - I also spent a lot of time here@ SR reaching out, and a lot of time tossing and turning, kicking the walls and deliberately not going out when all I wanted was to run down the road and get a bottle.
It's not easy but I believe it is possible to do that and not give in to the inner voice. The folks here helped me immensely by giving me faith in myself when I had none.
But yeah, not drinking only got me so far. I see not drinking as only the first step in a long journey. I had to change the person I was too.
My alcoholism *became* all pervasive but I believe I *started* to drink for definite reasons - mostly to fill a void within myself.
To heal my 'void', the first step is to stop poisoning myself with drink. I then had to get into what the void was, and how best I could start healing it.
It was a paradox for me to discover that the way towards that was not by thinking more about it, but actually thinking less, and doing more.
I did a lot of service work here, and still do because it helps me to be of service and to give back after many years of taking. It also helps keep me grounded and in perspective.
I also rediscovered my spiritual side - my initial recovery was secular - just don't drink...but it's hard to ignore the wonder in this world when you really start to recover.
It's hard for me to drink when I'm connected to the world in a more than a material way, and when I'm humble and grateful for the blessings I get everyday.
You know I could go on, but that's enough really LOL.
I'm not looking to start a school - I hope my experience helps others but I'm just a guy who found what he needed because he really wanted to quit and he looked hard enough for the way that worked for him.
I encourage everyone to do that. Start the process right away tho - don't wait for 'your way' to fall into your lap - you'll only find 'your way' by going out looking for it, trying a bunch of stuff - and not drinking.
I learned from every single step on my journey - successes and mistakes, friends and foe alike.
But I always kept walking forwards, not backwards
D
The turning point for me was acceptance - acceptance that I was an alcoholic - and the acceptance that I could not drink 'like everyone else'.
So I stopped drinking. I did everything I could to maintain that commitment. I still do, nearly 3 years on - every day.
I nearly died, so fear played a large part in that - I also spent a lot of time here@ SR reaching out, and a lot of time tossing and turning, kicking the walls and deliberately not going out when all I wanted was to run down the road and get a bottle.
It's not easy but I believe it is possible to do that and not give in to the inner voice. The folks here helped me immensely by giving me faith in myself when I had none.
But yeah, not drinking only got me so far. I see not drinking as only the first step in a long journey. I had to change the person I was too.
My alcoholism *became* all pervasive but I believe I *started* to drink for definite reasons - mostly to fill a void within myself.
To heal my 'void', the first step is to stop poisoning myself with drink. I then had to get into what the void was, and how best I could start healing it.
It was a paradox for me to discover that the way towards that was not by thinking more about it, but actually thinking less, and doing more.
I did a lot of service work here, and still do because it helps me to be of service and to give back after many years of taking. It also helps keep me grounded and in perspective.
I also rediscovered my spiritual side - my initial recovery was secular - just don't drink...but it's hard to ignore the wonder in this world when you really start to recover.
It's hard for me to drink when I'm connected to the world in a more than a material way, and when I'm humble and grateful for the blessings I get everyday.
You know I could go on, but that's enough really LOL.
I'm not looking to start a school - I hope my experience helps others but I'm just a guy who found what he needed because he really wanted to quit and he looked hard enough for the way that worked for him.
I encourage everyone to do that. Start the process right away tho - don't wait for 'your way' to fall into your lap - you'll only find 'your way' by going out looking for it, trying a bunch of stuff - and not drinking.
I learned from every single step on my journey - successes and mistakes, friends and foe alike.
But I always kept walking forwards, not backwards
D
Member
Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 5,785
I make sure I am occupied and have support. I've built in a lot of activities, so I don't have time to drink. I also am accountable here (with the 24 hour thread) and to mr. strat. I also do service here, such as doing the 24 hour thread and sometimes chair the chat meetings. I also go to the chat meetings on SR.
I have incorporated AVRT and done a lot of working on my thinking as well.
If you are interested in doing service here, I'd be happy to turn over doing cake of the day to you on the 24 hour thread to celebrate people's accomplishments. It's pretty fun to look at cakes. If you are interested, please PM me.
I have incorporated AVRT and done a lot of working on my thinking as well.
If you are interested in doing service here, I'd be happy to turn over doing cake of the day to you on the 24 hour thread to celebrate people's accomplishments. It's pretty fun to look at cakes. If you are interested, please PM me.
p***enger
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: NYC
Posts: 19,044
I started here and still post here daily.
I did AA daily for about 9 months. I really did a lot in the program for quite a while, & I still have a sponsor. It helped me a whole lot.
I sought mental health help, which also helped me a lot.
I'm honest with a few people who really think it's a really bad idea for me to drink again. They help.
I accept my alcoholism, my mental instability, my destructiveness, and the consequences they've had and will have to an even greater degree if I drink again. All that's been a hard course of lessons, so I try to be a little kinder to myself than I used to be.
I did AA daily for about 9 months. I really did a lot in the program for quite a while, & I still have a sponsor. It helped me a whole lot.
I sought mental health help, which also helped me a lot.
I'm honest with a few people who really think it's a really bad idea for me to drink again. They help.
I accept my alcoholism, my mental instability, my destructiveness, and the consequences they've had and will have to an even greater degree if I drink again. All that's been a hard course of lessons, so I try to be a little kinder to myself than I used to be.
Life Health Prosperity
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Louisana
Posts: 6,752
SnoozyQ, I believe the bottom line way I haven't drank in 5 years plus some months is, I still tell myself NO when the thought, "to drink" pops into my head. It has made my path, whatever that is, a whole lot simpler. I still get annoyed with it all but I stay sober because I can accurately say I'm better off without it. Sobriety hasn't solved nowhere near all the problems I've got and that's ok. Rootin for ya . 
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 316
I wrote down why I want to be sober in the first place. Before I stopped drinking I was having stomach pains, heart palpitations, panic attacks and was generally miserable. I think about that and reread my reasons when I have an urge or feel like it's "not fair" that I can't drink.
I've also recently started to look at my whole drinking career. I didn't think I was "that" bad because I stopped drinking at 28 but, really, I just started early. I had a DUI at 17 and an uder aged drinking ticket at 20. I DID have my run ins with the law. I was that bad.
I also found sober reading material. I recently finished Under The Influence. I recommend it if you're still struggling with acceptance and your responsibility as an addict.
Wishing you the best!
I've also recently started to look at my whole drinking career. I didn't think I was "that" bad because I stopped drinking at 28 but, really, I just started early. I had a DUI at 17 and an uder aged drinking ticket at 20. I DID have my run ins with the law. I was that bad.
I also found sober reading material. I recently finished Under The Influence. I recommend it if you're still struggling with acceptance and your responsibility as an addict.
Wishing you the best!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: California
Posts: 2,693
I could write 10 paragraphs about my story but I'll just try to keep this as brief as possible.
The fear of dying became greater than the fear of never drinking again. It was really hard for the first few months but then after about a year of one day at a time I actually stopped missing it and it became totally normal not to drink alcohol.
My fear of dying was not some abstract off in the future fear. I was diagnosed with a very serious health problem but possibly reversible directly caused by my alcoholism.
As you can see I still check in here as an insurance policy for my sobriety.
The fear of dying became greater than the fear of never drinking again. It was really hard for the first few months but then after about a year of one day at a time I actually stopped missing it and it became totally normal not to drink alcohol.
My fear of dying was not some abstract off in the future fear. I was diagnosed with a very serious health problem but possibly reversible directly caused by my alcoholism.
As you can see I still check in here as an insurance policy for my sobriety.
Guest
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 7,097
I need peace of mind. If I have peace of mind everything else in my life falls into place. Once I lose my peace of mind everything starts to fall apart and I want to drink, not necessarily in that order. Catch 22 really if I lose my peace of mind I want to drink and if I do drink I lose my peace of mind.
I do everything I can to protect my peace of mind, cutting out toxic people where necessary. Anna's point about balance is a critical one for me too
I do everything I can to protect my peace of mind, cutting out toxic people where necessary. Anna's point about balance is a critical one for me too
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Location: Mare Crisium
Posts: 1,930
No magic answer, Snoozy.
I've fallen hard 1000000000000000000 times. My stupidity
However, I do pray to Jesus for wisdom, strength and humility.
I also ask and thank Him for His grace and mercy to lift me out of the pit.
I don't deserve it. I don't deserve nuthin'
But He saves me. I swear.
I've fallen hard 1000000000000000000 times. My stupidity
However, I do pray to Jesus for wisdom, strength and humility.
I also ask and thank Him for His grace and mercy to lift me out of the pit.
I don't deserve it. I don't deserve nuthin'
But He saves me. I swear.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Strailya
Posts: 8,023
Hey Snoozy
Initially, I took the kitchen sink approach. I tried everything as I had that desperation to get sober. So, that included AA, psychiatrists, psychologists, spirituality, exercise (which I have always done), meditation, but no meds. Eventually I figured out a program and that has stuck with me since. The program has changed in terms of emphasis over time but the key for me is that its a program. I follow it every single day without fail. I had the same experience as Melinda in that I wanted sobriety more than I wanted to drink. That got me through the first 6 months. Then with spirituality, I began to discover solutions to my problem (which was me) which removed alcohol from the equation.
I am a firm believer that its only a reprieve from alcoholism. You have to work at sobriety every single moment. However, it does get easier as time goes by. Now, its simply habit for me. I stay vigilant and I always check in on myself. Oh, and I never take myself too seriously !
Initially, I took the kitchen sink approach. I tried everything as I had that desperation to get sober. So, that included AA, psychiatrists, psychologists, spirituality, exercise (which I have always done), meditation, but no meds. Eventually I figured out a program and that has stuck with me since. The program has changed in terms of emphasis over time but the key for me is that its a program. I follow it every single day without fail. I had the same experience as Melinda in that I wanted sobriety more than I wanted to drink. That got me through the first 6 months. Then with spirituality, I began to discover solutions to my problem (which was me) which removed alcohol from the equation.
I am a firm believer that its only a reprieve from alcoholism. You have to work at sobriety every single moment. However, it does get easier as time goes by. Now, its simply habit for me. I stay vigilant and I always check in on myself. Oh, and I never take myself too seriously !
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