Honest post: how to be sober and not boring as heck
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2015
Posts: 76
Honest post: how to be sober and not boring as heck
hello all - sorry for the blunt title but here goes.
How the heck do I get sober and not be super boring? Alcohol and drugs make me fun! I'm am so uncomfortable being the boring one ordering a cranberry soda. I can't deal.
I work in an industry that is very social. Can I never go out for happy hour again? Do I just sit there like a tool? I'm so in my shell.
I'm also very identified with his behavior. It's who I AM. I'm mischievous. I'm the one who looks innocent but has these insane secrets. I like it - it thrills me. I don't wanna be innocent and angelic. That's so boring.
Can someone tell me how awesome you are now that you're sober? I realize part of the problem is that I believe in boring and nothing.
Thanks for any insight!
SB
How the heck do I get sober and not be super boring? Alcohol and drugs make me fun! I'm am so uncomfortable being the boring one ordering a cranberry soda. I can't deal.
I work in an industry that is very social. Can I never go out for happy hour again? Do I just sit there like a tool? I'm so in my shell.
I'm also very identified with his behavior. It's who I AM. I'm mischievous. I'm the one who looks innocent but has these insane secrets. I like it - it thrills me. I don't wanna be innocent and angelic. That's so boring.
Can someone tell me how awesome you are now that you're sober? I realize part of the problem is that I believe in boring and nothing.
Thanks for any insight!
SB
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,445
I was convinced sober would be boring....but it's really not.
I do more now than I ever did as a drinker and dope fiend.
There's a transition phase - and it's not easy...but support helps.
Get through that and you'll be amazed at how free you feel and how not boring life is.
I get the sense you're looking for guarantees?
I thought drinking defined me too. I worked in the music industry.
I actually re-discovered a me I'd forgotten about when I got sober. I like this guy a lot more.
Until you experience it yourself, It's just something you're going to have to take our word on Sour.
Its a leap of faith...but we have no reason to lie
D
I do more now than I ever did as a drinker and dope fiend.
There's a transition phase - and it's not easy...but support helps.
Get through that and you'll be amazed at how free you feel and how not boring life is.
I get the sense you're looking for guarantees?
I thought drinking defined me too. I worked in the music industry.
I actually re-discovered a me I'd forgotten about when I got sober. I like this guy a lot more.
Until you experience it yourself, It's just something you're going to have to take our word on Sour.
Its a leap of faith...but we have no reason to lie
D
Guest
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: Michigan
Posts: 772
My family and friends are joyed by the fact that I am sober and no longer have to watch me drink and drug myself on a daily basis. I was never much fun drinking...I woud get too drunk and make a fool out of myself and make the party unenjoyable for everyone else. Maybe your different...but my life is wonderful today because I stopped drinking and drugging and am taking the necessary steps to be the best person I can be. Alcohol was holding me back in life. My friends would say I am much more fun today than I have ever been. I'm rambling. I just don't see the glamour in drinking. I consume alcohol like an alcoholic...uncontrollably. Where's the fun in that?
Member
Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: Madison, WI
Posts: 793
Originally Posted by sourbaby1986 
I'm also very identified with his behavior. It's who I AM. I'm mischievous. I'm the one who looks innocent but has these insane secrets. I like it - it thrills me. I don't wanna be innocent and angelic.
SB
Welcome!!!!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Earth
Posts: 607
My first post was about being bored. Still working on that but it's getting better now that my fear of being in social situations and not being tempted have subsided.
As far as being boring, At least now I can be sober and know I'm boring and not be a redundant, drunken bore and think I'm the life of the party.
If you are mischievous, think of the devious stuff you can come up with your brain at full capacity.
All good things take time.
Good Night.
As far as being boring, At least now I can be sober and know I'm boring and not be a redundant, drunken bore and think I'm the life of the party.
If you are mischievous, think of the devious stuff you can come up with your brain at full capacity.
All good things take time.
Good Night.
Do your best
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 67,047
Originally Posted by Dee74
I was convinced sober would be boring....but it's really not.
I do more now than I ever did as a drinker and dope fiend.
There's a transition phase - and it's not easy...but support helps.
Get through that and you'll be amazed at how free you feel and how not boring life is.
I get the sense you're looking for guarantees?
I thought drinking defined me too. I worked in the music industry.
I actually re-discovered a me I'd forgotten about when I got sober. I like this guy a lot more.
Until you experience it yourself, It's just something you're going to have to take our word on Sour.
Its a leap of faith...but we have no reason to lie
D
I do more now than I ever did as a drinker and dope fiend.
There's a transition phase - and it's not easy...but support helps.
Get through that and you'll be amazed at how free you feel and how not boring life is.
I get the sense you're looking for guarantees?
I thought drinking defined me too. I worked in the music industry.
I actually re-discovered a me I'd forgotten about when I got sober. I like this guy a lot more.
Until you experience it yourself, It's just something you're going to have to take our word on Sour.
Its a leap of faith...but we have no reason to lie
D
That bell or bike person
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: london
Posts: 4,978
jay leno , bob hope , david letterman , noel coward ,
4 people i'd love to meet at a party sober .
I was deluded into thinking i was a witty bon viveur when i was drunk.
I wasn't, I was just some deluded drunk , everyone else was just wallpaper to the big event going on in my body chemistry and brain centres .
These days i can actually make people laugh in good humour rather than in bafflement ..
Spread your sober wings and soar , don't let the old thinking hold you back ..
Bestwishes, m
4 people i'd love to meet at a party sober .
I was deluded into thinking i was a witty bon viveur when i was drunk.
I wasn't, I was just some deluded drunk , everyone else was just wallpaper to the big event going on in my body chemistry and brain centres .
These days i can actually make people laugh in good humour rather than in bafflement ..
Spread your sober wings and soar , don't let the old thinking hold you back ..
Bestwishes, m
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Ireland
Posts: 25,826
To be just as blunt . . . it means getting a life!! 
For years all I did was sit and drink, whether in front of the TV, in the pub, at all social occasions, whether at work, with friends etc etc
When I quit drinking I realised I didn't have many other interests, nothing else to talk about, no real hobbies, hadn't read a good book in years, what projects were going on in my life, what was I working towards, and the reality was life was coasting along on a wave of alcohol.
The reality it dawned on me was Sobriety didn't create boredom, my life was already boring as alcohol created an illusion.
The way to be interesting is to have things gong on in your life, to have conversation, to have your life balanced and together, none of the things that alcohol brought to the table.
We can build whatever life we choose, and it doesn't have to be boring, we just need a little more imagination than the limit alcohol tries to convince us of!!
For years all I did was sit and drink, whether in front of the TV, in the pub, at all social occasions, whether at work, with friends etc etc
When I quit drinking I realised I didn't have many other interests, nothing else to talk about, no real hobbies, hadn't read a good book in years, what projects were going on in my life, what was I working towards, and the reality was life was coasting along on a wave of alcohol.
The reality it dawned on me was Sobriety didn't create boredom, my life was already boring as alcohol created an illusion.
The way to be interesting is to have things gong on in your life, to have conversation, to have your life balanced and together, none of the things that alcohol brought to the table.
We can build whatever life we choose, and it doesn't have to be boring, we just need a little more imagination than the limit alcohol tries to convince us of!!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2015
Posts: 309
Purple makes an excellent point, when we get sober it can make us realise that we don't have hobbies etc because we spend so much time and energy on drinking! It's like carving out part of a new life, for me at least and that's exciting.
I went to a big wedding sober very recently and it was weird initially being sober. The outcome was that I actually spoke to loads of people that I wouldn't have ever introduced myself to before and could make real connections. I met someone from the US (I'm in the uk) and we swapped numbers so she can give me tips on where to go when I go on holiday next week! That would never have happened when I was hammered. I also actually tasted the food rather than shovel it down and went exploring outside with my husband when people got super drunk and boring.
Take it as it comes :-)
I went to a big wedding sober very recently and it was weird initially being sober. The outcome was that I actually spoke to loads of people that I wouldn't have ever introduced myself to before and could make real connections. I met someone from the US (I'm in the uk) and we swapped numbers so she can give me tips on where to go when I go on holiday next week! That would never have happened when I was hammered. I also actually tasted the food rather than shovel it down and went exploring outside with my husband when people got super drunk and boring.
Take it as it comes :-)
G-Woman
Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: Mississauga, ON
Posts: 979
I always thought I was more social and fun when I was drinking, but the truth is that I was just obnoxious.
The sober version of myself is articulate, intelligent, and has real interests. Drunk version of me was just a sham.
The sober version of myself is articulate, intelligent, and has real interests. Drunk version of me was just a sham.
12 Step Recovered Alcoholic
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 6,613
I was the life of the party too. I thought it was kinda strange when people started thanking me for not coming, or stopped inviting me altogether.
AA talks about a personality change sufficient to overcome alcoholism. That doesn't mean it turns extroverts into shy introverts. If you are naturally an outgoing people person, that is what you will be when you have recovered, only better.
AA talks about a personality change sufficient to overcome alcoholism. That doesn't mean it turns extroverts into shy introverts. If you are naturally an outgoing people person, that is what you will be when you have recovered, only better.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: USA
Posts: 773
what a great thread of good encouragement. Back in 99 i got sober for over two years and struggled big time, felt bored and empty, white knuckled every event i went to. Getting out and doing something no matter how simple it is makes me feel better. In all the years I've had my own place i've never had a Christmas tree, the boy scouts are selling trees right across the street from me, I think I'll take my date there to get one, That will make both of us happy. 
Member
Join Date: Nov 2015
Posts: 108
The challenge : Develop your sober personality
Needed: patience, persistence, consistency.
Why? : be all those things without an artificial chemical crutch
Plant, cultivate, harvest.
We live in a quantum leap society where everyone wants the quick fix.....everyone wants to leap to the harvest. Marketing promises the quantum leap. The guy standing at the microwave shaking his fist saying "c'mon f sake!"
cultivate, cultivate, cultivate...
Having Fun While Sober And How To Develop Confidence - The Anti-MBA
Needed: patience, persistence, consistency.
Why? : be all those things without an artificial chemical crutch
Plant, cultivate, harvest.
We live in a quantum leap society where everyone wants the quick fix.....everyone wants to leap to the harvest. Marketing promises the quantum leap. The guy standing at the microwave shaking his fist saying "c'mon f sake!"
cultivate, cultivate, cultivate...
Having Fun While Sober And How To Develop Confidence - The Anti-MBA
Member
Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: USA
Posts: 701
I drank for a long time and thought I was a very extoverted person. I have discovered over the past 14 months of not drinking that I am really not. I am not an introvert by any means, but I have learned that I am just a little more reserved in *real* life, and I'm kind of happy about that. Me, just unplugged
Member
Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: Anchorage Alaska
Posts: 39
I was afraid of being bored or being considered the boring person in a social work environment that has a lot of heavy drinkers in it. The first few months I stayed away from bars or get togethers that revolved around drinking. There were, what I thought at the time, awkward moments of feeling out of place.
What you find with time is that you really rediscover yourself and enjoy being in the moment. The bars and the drunk gatherings aren't my thing any more. I couldn't tell you that I wasn't afraid of missing it at first, but you'll find out why with time. Nothing is real with alcohol.
Take care of yourself and good things seem to fall into place. You'll start to appreciate what you have with sobriety. Embrace it and you'll have something much more powerful than booze.
What you find with time is that you really rediscover yourself and enjoy being in the moment. The bars and the drunk gatherings aren't my thing any more. I couldn't tell you that I wasn't afraid of missing it at first, but you'll find out why with time. Nothing is real with alcohol.
Take care of yourself and good things seem to fall into place. You'll start to appreciate what you have with sobriety. Embrace it and you'll have something much more powerful than booze.
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