thomas11

So, in addition to my hunting trip this past weekend, I get some phone calls and text messages from people I hadn't heard from in quite awhile. The first was from a guy who I knew through my BB career and just started talking to him again a few months ago. He has been through treatment and apparently has stayed sober, but he switched to doing some drugs, and he has always been high drama. In talking to him he seemed "off". Then he starts whispering (weird) and tells me he thinks his roommate has tapped his cell phone. I first told him that whispering will not help if his phone is tapped, and second, he acting irrationally and needs to probably stop taking whatever it is he is taking. He denied he had been using anything. Then I get a voicemail that was left at 1:39AM the previous night. Its a couple guys I went to college with and apparently they still get together on occasion on the weekends. Both single, in their 40's and never "grew up", although both have pretty successful professional lives. Haven't talked to either one of them in years. The voicemail was practically unintelligible because they were so drunk. After I listened to it, I just thought "that was weird". Next comes text messages from the guy that was helping me at the end of this last year. He's obviously wasted, misspelled words, sentences that were out of character for a sober person etc....so I text back and ask him if he is ok. He's not. His thing is to get blind drunk and then wonder downtown to find crack. He told me the withdrawals were just setting in, he was out of money and it was going to be hell. I simply texted him to be good to himself and that he was too young to die. Wished him the best. Then, my alcoholic brother in law in California starts hunting me down. Finally my wife says "please call Oscar he's bugging the heck out of me for you to call him". I call him, HE IS WASTED. He starts talking about things I know nothing of, I can't understand half of what he says because of his accent, and he wants us to change Mexico plans. I specifically told him last week its best we don't talk when he's been drinking heavily. Apparently he forgot. I wrapped up the phone call a little upset because its such an utter waste of time. To top it off (and I hate to even write this), my Dad comes over yesterday and he needs to borrow my battery charger, so I go out in the garage and get my batter charger and put it in his truck, he says he needs to use my bathroom. I come back in the house and he's walking out of my office/computer room. Strange. So I check my oxycodone prescription and it looks low. I call him and confronted him about being in my room (and not the bathroom). He plays it off, and I accept it. He shows up an hour later, crying, and admitted he stole from me. It was terrible. What do I do? Its my father. He gave the pills back and apologized profusely. I simply said "Dad, you are my father, we don't steal from each other and we don't lie to each other, that's not how we do it, and you know better". And that was that. So anyway, very eventful lately.

ScottFromWI

A lot going on to be sure. Dealing with addicted friends and family is difficult, but as you say there isn't much you can do about most of it.

How do you feel this relates to your sobriety? I assume that you didn't just bring this all up randomly did you? Your sobriety is the one thing you CAN be in charge of.

Soberpotamus

So sorry, Jeff. That last part about your father is sad. It also reminds me a little of my mom's behavior in the past.

My next thoughts are these -- guard your own sobriety and guard it well. Sounds like you are surrounded by drinkers and users. That has to be tough on some level.

I think you're going to have to get brutally honest with yourself about what your goal is for your own drinking and sobriety.

There needs to be a line drawn. And I'm afraid if you don't do it right now, we're going to eventually be reading posts from you that will be heartbreaking.

Soberwolf

What's your new plan Jeff

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ful-links.html

EndGameNYC

"This was interesting, yet kinda sad."

I had a similar reaction to your most recent thread. Comparing ourselves to others who are "worse off" in their drinking and drug use is not an effective plan for sobriety.

thomas11

You and Scott nailed it, it was a post of "I'm the least of my problems". But we know that's not true. I can't control what these people do. I think "some" of them call me because while not perfect, they know I have changed significantly, and probably want to change as well, but can't. I also posted because any one of these communications/events would have been odd, but they all happened in a 3-4 day period.

SoberLeigh

I am so sorry about the interaction with your father, Jeff.

Addiction destroys us in so many ways.

ScottFromWI

So how about posting a little about you and what your plans are? That's what SR is about...helping you help yourself. But you have to let us.

thomas11

All of the non-family members that I spoke or texted to are all still considered friends, and I will always listen to them. But I think about them and its a good reminder/tool. I thought to myself "I'm so glad I'm past that sh**." Regarding my father, I think yesterday we agreed that that the rubber met the road so to speak. He has a problem he needs to address, and if he can't do it on his own, he needs professionals.

Now, as far as me. I will be fine, but California and Mexico will be tests. When I got home I had no desire to drink "a couple". I can honestly say I didn't feel alcohol pulling at me. In the past it would have. I will have some challenges regarding my brother in law. I think he is almost resentful that I am attempting to quit completely. We have not had a drunken conversation in roughly 7 months. I am a completely different person sober. Probably not as much fun. And I am private. No one else out there will pressure to me to drink....he will. And he will do it for selfish reasons. He will do it because we laugh a lot when we are drunk together. I don't think he believes I am serious about what I am trying to accomplish. I will have to show him. I'm actually hoping I can help him out a little, but I doubt it. He's getting worse, not better.