hpdw

We held an unexpected family pre Christmas gathering of our clan .
Myself ,Mrs , 3 grown up kids . I made some savouries and Christmas pies ( I can rustle up some nice food as I worked in a bakery fr many years ) .
Anyway the young family members made a big pot of mulled wine and the setting was lovely but out of the blue I had a horrible panic attack which persisted for well over 2 hours then began to settle down but left me exhausted . I participated in most of the chat and good cheer albeit with white knuckles at times due to the inner feelings that would now and then engulf me with a feeling of pure fear and foreboding .

I did not drink alcohol and had no desire to either . *

I believe my subconscious triggered this episode of anxiety , did the old and not so old memories of a performing alcoholic rise and scare me . Did my flight or fight mechanism kick in to prepare me for battle flooding my system with cortisol and adrenaline and whatever other stress hormones are involved to either have you defeat the enemy or flee from it .

I am no stranger to these attacks although its been quite some time since I had one so intense . I used tactics I learned over the years such that I rode it out , accepted it for what it was . I did not recoil or hide or sit in another room although I found it extremely difficult .
I was aware of the fist clenching and shoulder hunching and that hyperventilating wasn't doing me any good so I worked at correcting my breathing while during all of this still trying to be sociable . *
Don't get me wrong ! the thought of a big swig of that mulled wine would have brought instant relief and that thought was just a thought which I let pass .Its a thought that has been a habit for many years and habitual thinking takes time to change .
Anyway 2 , I got some food and tea in me and did slowly get back to relative calm except for some soreness and weakness .

Its still early days for me so i'm treating this as a training exercise which I believe will build my psychological muscles to better serve me in future situations .

Its hard bloody work but I want a sober life so badly I am prepared to endure these anxiety episodes as they throw what ever they dam well want at me .

Everyone gone now and i'm sitting with some iced water and a box of chocolates !!!!! I deserve a little treat don't you think !!

Thanks

Anna

It sounds like you hosted a really nice gathering for your family.

Good for you for getting through the panic attack! It sounds like you did everything right. And, enjoy the chocolate.

Dee74

I'm glad you had some knowledge of what to do Thomas. Panic attacks are never fun.

Rest assured tho, it won;t always be this way when you find yourself confronted with alcohol. It will get easier - I think you did really well though

D

Soberwolf

hpdw

Thanks ,

Sometimes my writing style doesn't get the correct message across ,maybe I sound like " Ive got it all sorted " but in fact I did really struggle with this today and do feel rather worried about this happening each time in a social setting .
I was never good with company unless I was half sloshed .
Dee I take on board what you say .

Hevyn

Very proud of you for getting through it, Thomas. It's definitely true that it changes & becomes less intense as we get some sober time behind us. We're learning to live again in a different way - it's bound to be challenging, especially at the holiday season. You're doing this!

teatreeoil007

Awesome coping Thomas !

MIRecovery

I still avoid drinking situations. My family has accepted the fact that I will be there until I go.

I go to places to enjoy myself not to have panic attacks. If the booze bothers me I just leave no more complicated than that

Mountainmanbob

I handle them a little differently.
I also suffer from these feelings and thoughts from time to time
and simply break away from the crowd and take a walk outside.
It works best for me and no one ever seems to miss me.

This guy needs to regroup his thinking from time to time
best for me when alone.

MB

PurpleKnight

Fantastic Thomas!!

hpdw

Its what ever works best for each individual , I have also done disappearing acts in the past even to the point of not going back .
Even while I was boozing I never felt comfortable in large groups.

I think thats why I work night shifts and in a job where the most people I have to talk to is 2 ( me and the other guard ) .

I,m now practicing non avoidance techniques as Dr Claire Weekes suggests but its not easy .

Thanks

teatreeoil007

I'm not real crazy about large crowds either, and my husband gets claustrophobic ( seriously ) when in a crowd unless he it located in a place where there is a door/exit...and he prefers to sit at the end of an aisle.

Having said that....if I have to be somewhere in a large crowd, I can handle it; some people are obnoxious though.