How do I find a sponsor?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: West Coast - USA
Posts: 81
How do I find a sponsor?
First week out of therapy and back to the grind. This weekend went by well. No cravings or triggers. Went to a meeting on Saturday. The topic was sponsorships. Now it's Monday and I'm concerned because I don't know how to really ask or what to look for in a sponsor....
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: ohio
Posts: 3,615
Hi delta, congrats on your new sobriety!
Yeah it's a good idea to get a sponsor and do steps if you are doing aa. I'll tell you what I was told in looking for a sponsor.... Look for someone who has what you want. Serenity? Peace? Happiness? Whatever. But look for that person and ask them. The right person for me was someone who had their **** together and a couple years sober, but wasn't smug about it. I needed someone kind, because I beat myself up. But many of us respond better to the tough love approach.
It helps if you see the person share in a meeting, and you respect what they say.
They say we should pick a sponsor of the same gender to avoid any weird dynamic. I'm a gay girl and ended up with a straight lady and it worked just fine.
Just pick someone in the program you admire. And if that person can't do it, they can probably recommend someone. Don't agonize over it, you can always change sponsors if you need to.
Feel free to pm if you have any other questions. Good luck!!
Yeah it's a good idea to get a sponsor and do steps if you are doing aa. I'll tell you what I was told in looking for a sponsor.... Look for someone who has what you want. Serenity? Peace? Happiness? Whatever. But look for that person and ask them. The right person for me was someone who had their **** together and a couple years sober, but wasn't smug about it. I needed someone kind, because I beat myself up. But many of us respond better to the tough love approach.
It helps if you see the person share in a meeting, and you respect what they say.
They say we should pick a sponsor of the same gender to avoid any weird dynamic. I'm a gay girl and ended up with a straight lady and it worked just fine.
Just pick someone in the program you admire. And if that person can't do it, they can probably recommend someone. Don't agonize over it, you can always change sponsors if you need to.
Feel free to pm if you have any other questions. Good luck!!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
good on ya for wanting a sponsor!to start, theres a pamphlet titled" questions and answers on sponsorship" that can be found online to learn what a sponsors roll is.
so, to find a sponsor i find it works good to pray on it- ask to have one put in your path. then listen and watch at meetings. get there early and talk to others. look for someone that has what you want.
when ya find someone you feel would be good to be your sponsor, get some courage and ask.
how to ask....welp....it could be something like this:
" i listen to what ya say and like it. i want to work the steps and want a sponsor to guide me. are you able to sponsor me?"
now, if they say they cant, dont get discouraged. ask them if they know someone who can.
so, to find a sponsor i find it works good to pray on it- ask to have one put in your path. then listen and watch at meetings. get there early and talk to others. look for someone that has what you want.
when ya find someone you feel would be good to be your sponsor, get some courage and ask.
how to ask....welp....it could be something like this:
" i listen to what ya say and like it. i want to work the steps and want a sponsor to guide me. are you able to sponsor me?"
now, if they say they cant, dont get discouraged. ask them if they know someone who can.
Trudgin
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 6,348
Originally Posted by tomsteve 
good on ya for wanting a sponsor!to start, theres a pamphlet titled" questions and answers on sponsorship" that can be found online to learn what a sponsors roll is.
so, to find a sponsor i find it works good to pray on it- ask to have one put in your path. then listen and watch at meetings. get there early and talk to others. look for someone that has what you want.
when ya find someone you feel would be good to be your sponsor, get some courage and ask.
how to ask....welp....it could be something like this:
" i listen to what ya say and like it. i want to work the steps and want a sponsor to guide me. are you able to sponsor me?"
now, if they say they cant, dont get discouraged. ask them if they know someone who can.
so, to find a sponsor i find it works good to pray on it- ask to have one put in your path. then listen and watch at meetings. get there early and talk to others. look for someone that has what you want.
when ya find someone you feel would be good to be your sponsor, get some courage and ask.
how to ask....welp....it could be something like this:
" i listen to what ya say and like it. i want to work the steps and want a sponsor to guide me. are you able to sponsor me?"
now, if they say they cant, dont get discouraged. ask them if they know someone who can.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: Midwest
Posts: 346
In these parts if someone identifies as a newcomer at a meeting a packet is passed around and signed (w/phone#'s) by those with some sobriety under their belt and given to the person at meeting's end by chairperson. That's a good start as those on the list are willing to talk if the goin' gets tough (call someone before you drink). Trouble is it's hard to put a face with the name on those lists lest one attends regularly. I kept going back and observing. Eventually I picked a guy that I now consider as close as family (closer than some even
. It took me making the move tho and that can be done in the informal mingling, handshakes and hello's that happen everywhere I've been to date when the meeting closes.
. It took me making the move tho and that can be done in the informal mingling, handshakes and hello's that happen everywhere I've been to date when the meeting closes.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: East Coast
Posts: 108
I'm really surprised that's some good advice sponsorship is gotten water down over the years many people only want to take hostages be the puppet master tell a person they're working with what to do what not to do what they can do what they can't do be there relationship expert marriage counselor therapist... Simply a sponsor is a person who will guide you through the steps help you build a relationship with a higher power not become people dependent or sponsor dependent and like the others have said if you believe you're an alcoholic in your life is unmanageable and you know that just being sober is the beginning in the 12 steps are necessary to recover and you're ready to go on through with the process simply say will you guide me through the steps if they're unable they should guide you to someone else it's not about call me everyday 90 + 90 don't drink go to meetings carry around on a silk pillow patting you on your back telling you it's going to be ok it's about are you an alcoholic and are you willing to get down to business can they simply give you directions and walk day by day in the path of spiritual progress so good for you listen at meetings at people that carry the message not the mess and simply for me it was the hardest thing I had to do ask another man for help but I was ready to do anything to quit feeling the way that I felt I didn't want to die I do anything to get my drink or my drug and when I came into recovery this last time back in 99 I knew I was done and I did anything it took to get better and as soon as I asked for help honestly the teacher appeared I took the steps I recovered and now I help many alcoholics to go through the process if you could ask how do I get a sponsor online I have faith you can walk through your fear and ask her human being face to face cuz theres no one that can help an alcoholic then another alcoholic although they must be properly armed with the facts about themselves in order to guide you through the steps de should have done the steps themselves and it kind of makes a difference the directions on how to take the steps are in the pages of the book Alcoholics Anonymous that would be my best advice there's lots of ways to do the steps but the book shows us precisely how to recover how to take certain steps how to find a power greater than ourselves which will solve our problem
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