Notices

Day 27

Old 11-21-2015, 02:12 PM
  # 1 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
secretchord's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 469
Day 27

For the most part I'm doing good. I get some bad cravings at time. I get irritable and agitated like I've never felt before mostly when someone invites me out for wine, or when I avoid wine. There are days when I'm mostly calm and then days I'm extremely agitated. Its very hard not to crave when I'm feeling this way. i notice that I get really cranky when people put pictures of themselves drunk and pictures of wine on Facebook. I'm angry that other people are drinking and I'm not. I feel like I'm boring and old and I'm missing out on all the fun. I think this will get better with time?
secretchord is offline  
Old 11-21-2015, 02:16 PM
  # 2 (permalink)  
Administrator
 
Anna's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,675
Congratulations on Day 27.

Yes, I think it will get better in time, but I also think you might have to make some changes too. If you feel you're boring and missing out on the fun, what can you do to change that? Can you find activities that you enjoy and things to do that don't revolve around alcohol.
Anna is offline  
Old 11-21-2015, 02:19 PM
  # 3 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
secretchord's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 469
Well, I started painting. I'm not good but I liked it. I'm also a singer so I've been doing karaoke. Karaoke is at a bar but I'm hanging out by myself without the drinking crowd. I don't feel triggered strangely. I think it helps that no one drinks wine at this particular place. So I've been singing and want to continue that.
secretchord is offline  
Old 11-21-2015, 02:22 PM
  # 4 (permalink)  
JD
You're not shackled to not drinking, you're free from drinking
 
Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 1,406
I think you need to find a way to let go of that anger of everyone else drinking and you're not. That's a dangerous place to be for your sobriety. Do you really want to be drinking again? Was that such a good spot to be? And you're not boring by not drinking. Would drinking really make your life better? If you're like me, drinking would not make my life better, more fun, and I'd be more boring.

27 days is fantastic, keep it going!
JD is offline  
Old 11-21-2015, 02:26 PM
  # 5 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
secretchord's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 469
Originally Posted by jd1639 View Post
Do you really want to be drinking again?
Yes.
secretchord is offline  
Old 11-21-2015, 02:28 PM
  # 6 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
secretchord's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 469
I need to change my outlook. I know this. My attitude is messed up. I just don't know how to change this.
secretchord is offline  
Old 11-21-2015, 02:32 PM
  # 7 (permalink)  
JD
You're not shackled to not drinking, you're free from drinking
 
Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 1,406
It comes with acceptance that drinking will not make your life better, you wont be less boring, and you'll have more fun. You're fine just the way your sober self is.
JD is offline  
Old 11-21-2015, 03:00 PM
  # 8 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: US
Posts: 5,095
Originally Posted by secretchord View Post
For the most part I'm doing good. I get some bad cravings at time. I get irritable and agitated like I've never felt before mostly when someone invites me out for wine, or when I avoid wine. There are days when I'm mostly calm and then days I'm extremely agitated. Its very hard not to crave when I'm feeling this way. i notice that I get really cranky when people put pictures of themselves drunk and pictures of wine on Facebook. I'm angry that other people are drinking and I'm not. I feel like I'm boring and old and I'm missing out on all the fun. I think this will get better with time?
Hey SC
Again, I think you are really trying to understand yourself. That is great so early on. You are being honest and what you are feeling is normal. Many people when they get sober are simply so excited to actually not be dying that they are elated by what really is simply normal. "Wow, I'm not puking my guts out" isn't life great!

My guess is you are a high bottom alcoholic.....your life hadn't completely fallen apart YET. So you're not experiencing the pink cloud effect. That's actually not a bad thing. You're just facing resentments and anger earlier on, rather than 90 days down the road. What you do with this anger and how you handle this new way of 'being' is what counts. Alcohol is a beverage. It's not a personality, it's not a friend, it's not a hobby. It just lowers you inhibitions and allows you to relax (or if you're me, become a sociopath). I think the trick for me is getting to know the real me and accepting completely exactly who that person it. Then I can start to enjoy life without booze. I can do anything sober that I did drunk (just probably wouldn't.....hmmmmm). But I can't do anything drunk that I can do sober (as much as I tried).
You are doing great. Be proud,
entropy1964 is offline  
Old 11-21-2015, 03:38 PM
  # 9 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
secretchord's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 469
Lol @ sociopath. You are correct I'm a high bottom. Never really had consequences resulting from my drinking. I think that makes it more difficult. But I can see the progression and what would happen if I continued. The real me, eh? That's going to be tough. I hate that I am shy. I don't like that I have a very thin filter and offend people easily without even trying. I am extremely insecure about myself. I always have been. I feel like people don't like me and that they pretend to or just tolerate me. My self esteem is tragic. I know this. But I don't know how to love myself. I don't know how to like being me.
secretchord is offline  
Old 11-21-2015, 03:49 PM
  # 10 (permalink)  
Member
 
Hawkeye13's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 11,476
Well, if you are at all like me, you won't learn to like yourself at the bottom of a wine bottle
You just drown your dislike for awhile.

The "liking" part takes time, work, and honest introspection.
It's actually (eventually) interesting to meet yourself, funny enough

Great job on nearly a full month now!
Give it time and put in the effort, and you will reap great rewards
Hawkeye13 is offline  

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 01:56 AM.