CaliMusician

Today was just a bad day. Something in me this morning knew I wouldn't make it..and it's only been a week since quitting (again). Next thing I know, I'm at the liquor store. Next thing I know, I'm on my way home with the whiskey.

Not only that, I dropped the bottle and broke it. As if that weren't a second chance to turn back, I ended up buying a 2nd bottle.

I only drank probably 5 or 6 shots worth. But it got me pretty drunk. Enough to take a nap at least.

I screwed up. But tonight I put the bottle outside and set my house alarm so I won't go back out there and wake roommates up by undoing the alarm.

Trying to not be depressed and tell myself it was once and I won't do it again....

Dee74

Beating yourself up too much will only deplete your self esteem and send you back into the clutches of the bottle.

Think about what happened and why? what could you do differently?
what else do you need to add to your recovery programme?

D

Mags1

Hi Cali, you did well to come here. Chuck your drink down the sink then you can't get tempted.

If you can come and talk to us before you drink we can give you the support.

Ruby2

Starting out telling yourself it's a bad day, that you're not going to make it, is giving yourself permission to drink later on. Don't beat yourself up but change it up next time. I've found thst I largely choose my mood. If I'm having a bad day I can be mindful of that and work to change it. I think to myself that this too shall pass. I reach out here and in real life to my support network to tell them how I'm feeling. If I wait long enough, things usually improve.

You can do it. Post here first next time, right when you start feeling down about the day.

CaliMusician

My self-esteem in life pretty much can't be depleted any lower. Thanks though.

Dee74

I understand the feeling but so you get my point? If you see no value in yourself it's much easy to say screw it and drink again.

You know you can be sober - now you just have to work on the staying sober - you're not back at the beginning - this can be recovery 2.0

D

Soberwolf

Precisely what Dee74 said

No one gets sober first time round my life was non existent drinking & alcohol was only worsening alcohol has no remorse

The best decision I ever made in life was getting sober we'l be here for you all the way

teatreeoil007

We're behind you!

hpdw

Cali I can tell you that I slipped and binged for 4 days and when I sobered up and came back here the depression was overwhelming but I kept going and kept reading and believing SR posts . The depression did lift slowly and God only knows how hard it was not to reach for the bottle . I had to work very hard at changing my thinking. I know how hard it is but you can do it .

ccam1973

Dee always finds a way to make perfect sense... You've got to take small steps and find value in yourself. You are worth staying sober, we all are. You aren't alone in this and I guarantee, most of us here have been where you are at today.

You know how to be sober, now you've got to work on staying sober. Use the past as a learning experience, grow from what you now know so you don't repeat the mistakes again tomorrow.

Bottom line, you can do this. We are stronger than our excuses.

Lean on us as much as you need.