badger257

Well,
I made it 5 days (longest in 3 years). But at what point do alcoholics forget basic math? Would you trade $48 for $4 at any point in your "real" life? Yet, that is what I have done. 4 hours of "fun", and now I know I will be paying for it for the next 48 hours. I don't remember who said it, but this is the "REAL" definitions of insanity! (Doing the same thing over and over, and KNOWING the result, but doing it anyway!) Guess tomorrow is a new day. I am done w/ calling it day 1. That label hasn't changed a damn thing...

Sorry for the rant. This forum keeps me hopeful, so for that I am extremely thankful!

Anna

Badger, I know you're feeling frustrated right now, but you can get through this. What happened after the 5 days sober? What can you do to prevent that happening again?

badger257

Thanks Anna. That is the thing I can't figure out. Nothing particular happened (just boredom I guess?) And I haven't figured out a way to beat the AV. I sat for 2 hours arguing with "myself", and then caved. I don't get it. again, INSANITY!

PennyLane76

Next time, don't argue with yourself. Post here first. Remember HALT? Be mindful of being hungry, angry, lonely (or bored ) or tired.

soberclover

Maybe you could make a list of 25 (or more!) things you will do when you get a craving to drink next time. Hopefully your list will get you motivated, tired, unbored, and so busy that you will change your mind about drinking Don't give up on sobriety....it really is possible.

badger257

Sadie1... Thank you. I took care of the H A T part. But the lonely/bored is the one that always gets me. I should post more often, instead of just being a lurker every day.

LexieCat

There's always AA. When I first got sober I went to 90 meetings in 90 days. It sounds like a lot, until you figure in those hours you spent planning to drink, drinking, recovering from drinking.

I found it great to have a place to go every evening (took care of the lonely/bored thing) at the time I would otherwise have been drinking, and doing something positive/proactive to support my sobriety every day. I also met a lot of awesome people, who were dealing with the exact same problem I had--how cool is THAT?

PurpleKnight

There's a part to this that is the sharp end of addiction, it's real and so we keep doing what we know is a bad choice, round and round the alcohol merry-go-round I went for years.

That's were support comes in, or basically changing things up, nothing changes if nothing changes, I needed to take some proactive steps to short circuit my own thought processes, give me a second opinion on things, because in isolation my addiction could sell me all the fairytales it wanted to.

Even if it's checking into SR daily to keep focused on the task at hand, whatever it is, change up your plan, you can do this!!

Soberwolf

You beat the AV by reaching out & exposing it & silencing it also with gratitude

Ultimately you crush the AV by not drinking no matter what !!! at first it takes an absurb amount of willpower you got to want it lock in on your acceptance

How bad do you want it

Nonsensical

Starve it.

It can't be reasoned with. It can't be negotiated with. It can't be educated. It can't be intimidated, shamed, coerced, bribed, flattered, or seduced. Arguing with it is a waste of time.

It must be starved.

Next time it starts a debate get up and do something else. Plan for that NOW. The next time I feel like drinking I will _____________ instead. Then get up and do it.

You can do this.

newpage119

Find something you really like to do and keep a treat waiting for when you need it. If you like to read, buy the current bestseller and keep it for the weekend when you know you will have extra time and be bored.
Or a good Netflix movie, yoga DVD- or better yet attend a yoga class!
Take a course at the local community college, nothing serious, something that will be fun and hold your interest......volunteer, Holidays coming up, lots of help needed......Paint the kitchen. Re-do your closets.....make something artsy!

Get a puppy, I am never bored with three! Caution...this option is not for everyone!

Alynn

Hugs! AV makes us forget just how insane it is.

sva777

I wish you the best on this attempt.

bodymindheart

Good luck on your attempt and thanks for sharing your hope.

badger257

Thanks everyone. Feeling hopeful again today. Even tho I am miserable. It doesn't help that I am not working right now, and up to my neck in the repercussions of the damage my drinking has caused.