Hendrix

I don't know why but I've been really down and moody lately.
A week tomorrow I would have been a year sober but for a stupid binge a couple of months ago.
I should be feeling pleased with myself but still feel resentment that I can't have a drink to unwind occasionally.
Its not like I feel that much better really - still overweight as I'm eating more instead of drinking and having to take tablets for medical conditions. I might as well just drink and be happy!
Mrs Hendrix is still drinking every night though nowhere near as much as I did, but I still resent that.
I'm sure if she didn't do that I'd find it less miserable.
It just seems that everything I do turns to crap lately and I just want a little drink now and again to escape the world for a little while........

mecanix

Hendrix ,
life has it's up and downs , drinking don't make them any better just worse in my experience .
What can you do to shake up your sobriety ? add something , find some fun and life ?

Have a read of this thread here :-

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...er-forget.html

stay strong , get busy living sober

m

JD

You're going to have to get over that and surrender to the fact that you'll never drink again. Having thoughts of why can't I drink and others can will only get you to a relapse. Also, stopping drinking isn't going to solve any of your other problems. It'll certainly help them and help you take care of them. But sobriety is not a magic pill the cures all your ills, life is still life. Hang in there, I've had many of your same thoughts in the past.

entropy1964

Hi Hendrix

I know how you're feeling. I have had a lot of dry periods in the last 10 years and I can remember many 6 month, 9 month periods where I was so fricken irritable. For me I know my 'serenity' in recovery is equal to my complete acceptance of the fact that I cannot drink. When I'm not completely at peace with that, I fight and fight and fight. I too would think , ****it, why not just drink. But of course drinking will only make matters much worse. So, its back to surrender.

I won't minimize the difficulty of trying to quit when one's partner is still drinking, and everyday no less. I was in the same situation years ago before my hub passed. Have you asked her to stop? Or at minimum drink outside the home? Frankly, and I'm sure others will disagree with this, but I don't think its asking for the moon. Drinking daily is very unhealthy, particularly for women. Significantly raises risks for breast cancer, amongst other things. Anyway, its just a thought. If I weren't an alcoholic I'd have no problem supporting my spouse by not drinking.

Hendrix

Thanks folks..
Mecanix - I usually hate people throwing my words back at me but this time it helps

JD -Im not expecting life to be hassle free because I've stopped drinking - I'm just missing the escapism that drinking gave when things go wrong!

JD

I get the escapism. But you said "Why can't I drink and just be happy" Would you be happy? And when things go wrong they'd still be there after you drank. You've got to get that nonsense out of your head. I know, easier said than done.

Hendrix

I know, I'm just whining instead of manning up . And yes, frickaflip, you'd think a non alcoholic would stop to help their partner wouldn't you............but that's another story......

I'm even starting to dread Christmas already! I don't normally think of it till December but I'm worrying about how miserable it will be already without a drink! I just don't understand it - everything seemed to be getting so much better a few months ago and I was really thriving and loving my sobriety - now I feel trapped and miserable.

Anna

Hendrix, it does sound like you've hit a lull in your recovery and that's okay. You can begin to move forward again. Don't focus on 'it would have been a year but' - you had a slip, it's okay. You've moved on and you've learned a lot. Be proud of how far you've come. And, I'm sorry your partner isn't more understanding, but if you know she's drinking every night, then hopefully you can be in a different room or part of the house? And, it's good that you're aware Christmas will be a challenge. This gives you lots of time to make plans to avoid pitfalls. Maybe you can plan to get away for a few days, just for a change of scenery. Another great idea is to volunteer. There are so many shelters that need help preparing for and serving clients their Christmas meals. Maybe there is a Food Bank in your area where you could help to fill baskets for people who were struggling financially.

Kaily

I am yet to be sober so not really in a place to advise BUT I did attend an AA meeting today where there was a lot of talk of dry drunks..sober but resenting it, from what I could gather was working the 12 steps, acceptance that drink isn't for you and helping others recover brings people sober contentment.
Stay strong

Soberwolf

Completely 2nd Mecanix & Anna's post try not to beat yourself up too much, plan ahead were going to be sober at Christmas this will be my 3rd & honestly it gets better

I think you think your missing out on drinking or something but you know your not as you see what happens when ppl get drunk it's not pretty its not glamorous

Have you been to AA Hendrix I think you would gain much more from sobriety with support you always have us but lately I hardly see you post & its a shame as you have good advice & a wise head on your shoulders that many ppl could benefit from

My advice is ramp up your recovery, get a hobby or increase it & try either AA or Smart

& you could ask Mrs Hendrix could you have have a couple sober nights ? explain how you feel speak from the heart

Stick close to us because your not alone we get it & I for 1 like having you around here

Spk soon bud

Dee74

Some great advice here Hendrix

I had to work had to build a sober life I loved. A life you love doesn't need to be perfect but it's one you never want to escape from.

D

Hendrix

Thanks for all the wise words as usual folks
I totally agree with you SW - maybe not about AA (I tried that some time ago and it wasn't for me I'm afraid) but to look for more support.
I suppose I'm in a bit of denial - I just want it to go away and for me to not want to drink again and be constantly happy with it. I've been ignoring the advice that folk need to work at recovery - constantly.

I've made a decision to come back on here and read and post and be more accepting of how stuff is rather than wishing it was how I want it to be.............

......and I will take an opportunity to sit Mrs H down and tell her how I feel.

Soberwolf

Sounds like a excellent idea Hendrix, I really meant it when I say you have a wise head on your shoulders

Hope today was ok, have a good day tomorrow & hopefully spk soon

ccam1973

Good plan Hendrix. I was feeling a bit the same right around my 12 month mark back in July. I actually bought a bottle of whiskey for a trip I took over the summer. Luckily, one of my friends who knew I wasn't drinking talked me out of opening that bottle... best decision I could have ever made.

I still find it helps me tremendously to spend as much time here on SR as I can.

Hang in there, you're doing great.