I wanted a drink badly yesterday...
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Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 1,355
I wanted a drink badly yesterday...
It was awful. I had a hard day at work. It was stressful, it was busy, it was unproductive at times. All I wanted was a drink. Just one, not two, not three, not four... I got in my car twice to go run to the gas station to get beer. And twice I sat there. Once I even started the car and backed down the driveway. All I wanted was one drink, to relax with, while I made dinner.
But then I got that sinking feeling in my gut. "Who are you kidding? Just one? More like that six pack that you guy will be gone in less than 2 hours. Then you'll want more, and probably will go get it. Then guess what? Guess how you will feel tomorrow. Guess how miserable you will be until you fall asleep or go get more beer tomorrow to chase the hangover."
Somehow, some way, I didnt go get beer. I drank a bottle of water. I think I am starting to hit that turning point. In my other attempts at getting sober, I never really had the desire to drink until I was months sober. Then I would get that desire and drink. This time the desire came sooner than usual, but I didnt drink.
Maybe this AVRT thing is working. I thought to myself, well only you can walk to the car, open the door, start the car and drive to the gas station. There is no one else making me do this.
It was a hard day and next week wont be any easier at work. Then finally things should start to calm down and go back to status quo. I hope I can make it. I want to make it. I NEED to make it.
But then I got that sinking feeling in my gut. "Who are you kidding? Just one? More like that six pack that you guy will be gone in less than 2 hours. Then you'll want more, and probably will go get it. Then guess what? Guess how you will feel tomorrow. Guess how miserable you will be until you fall asleep or go get more beer tomorrow to chase the hangover."
Somehow, some way, I didnt go get beer. I drank a bottle of water. I think I am starting to hit that turning point. In my other attempts at getting sober, I never really had the desire to drink until I was months sober. Then I would get that desire and drink. This time the desire came sooner than usual, but I didnt drink.
Maybe this AVRT thing is working. I thought to myself, well only you can walk to the car, open the door, start the car and drive to the gas station. There is no one else making me do this.
It was a hard day and next week wont be any easier at work. Then finally things should start to calm down and go back to status quo. I hope I can make it. I want to make it. I NEED to make it.
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Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,874
Really great job, jryan. That is the power of recovery at work. YOU hold the key; YOU are in control.
The power will grow stronger with each success.
Playing the tape forward is a great tool, too.
Power on.
The power will grow stronger with each success.
Playing the tape forward is a great tool, too.
Power on.
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Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Indiana
Posts: 1,472
Originally Posted by jryan19982 
Maybe this AVRT thing is working. I thought to myself, well only you can walk to the car, open the door, start the car and drive to the gas station. There is no one else making me do this.
quat
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: terra (mostly)firma
Posts: 4,823
You have made it, feeling urges, cravings, wanting or thinking you want to drink aren't signs of not having made it or that you may not be quit. They are the AV and by starving it out by not giving into the feelings , not taking the actions required to put it in your mouth the weaker they will become and the less they will show up. Keep going with your badass nondrinking self!
"one to relax" lol what bs, I've had that thought too, though not so much when I was a drinker, but certainly as a stinking lie from my AV after making the decision to be a nondrinker. Good catch, you got this
"one to relax" lol what bs, I've had that thought too, though not so much when I was a drinker, but certainly as a stinking lie from my AV after making the decision to be a nondrinker. Good catch, you got this
Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 4,251
Awesome job thinking it through and getting through such a tough craving. You should really be proud of yourself!
One thing that has helped me in some pretty severe craving situations is drinking a full glass of fruit juice. I think a part of our cravings are psychological, certainly, but also a part are physiological. I have found that a glass of fruit juice (or more appropriately the sugars in the juice) have at times wiped out a craving nearly instantly. Just an idea to try, I hope it works for you as well as it has worked for me. I now keep an endless supply of pineapple and coconut juice on hand.
One thing that has helped me in some pretty severe craving situations is drinking a full glass of fruit juice. I think a part of our cravings are psychological, certainly, but also a part are physiological. I have found that a glass of fruit juice (or more appropriately the sugars in the juice) have at times wiped out a craving nearly instantly. Just an idea to try, I hope it works for you as well as it has worked for me. I now keep an endless supply of pineapple and coconut juice on hand.
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Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 1,355
It was one of the worst cravings if not the worst I had at any time being sober. It was such a crap-tastic day but I didnt make it anymore crappy by drinking. That would have carried over into today- glad it didnt.
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