Disaster
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Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: Purgatory
Posts: 42
Originally Posted by helpimalive 
Okay, ouch. That's awful. I'm so sorry.
You do need a plan. The more concrete actions you can take, the better.
( But I also feel compelled to say, the police abusing you is not your fault, whether you were drinking or not. That guy should be punished by his department. He is a bad cop. That ****'s not okay to do to anybody. I know this isn't about recovery necessarily, but I just couldn't not voice my opinion on this. Maybe you'll even feel better if you do what you can do to make it known that he behaved unacceptably. I know I would. He does that to you, you know he does it to other people. I know this kind of thing happens all the time, but that doesn't make it okay. End rant. )
You do need a plan. The more concrete actions you can take, the better.
( But I also feel compelled to say, the police abusing you is not your fault, whether you were drinking or not. That guy should be punished by his department. He is a bad cop. That ****'s not okay to do to anybody. I know this isn't about recovery necessarily, but I just couldn't not voice my opinion on this. Maybe you'll even feel better if you do what you can do to make it known that he behaved unacceptably. I know I would. He does that to you, you know he does it to other people. I know this kind of thing happens all the time, but that doesn't make it okay. End rant. )
I see that now, it's so true. Before I stopped drinking, but I wasn't really doing anything 'tangible' that could be measured or could be felt that I was contributing to my sober goal. Yes I was working on self-development but there was no "connection" as such with breaking a drinking life and creating a sober one....
I'm ready to do it now. Even if I was to lose my job or get sent down this has to be my main priority: my health and wellbeing, both phsycal and emotional. And sobriety takes care of my health and wellbeing.
I can see now sobriety must be the foundation from which the rest of my life is built from. I've put other things first...
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Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: California
Posts: 1,428
Originally Posted by AlHowSoonisNow
I'm shattered. I've not eaten in more than twenty four hours. I need sleep. I've not got much in the house. I'm going to try to eat some pasta now and probably sleep.
The image of going to a movie theater and losing myself in a flick with total piece of mind sounds very appealing. My peace of mind is wrecked. I want it back.
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Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: Purgatory
Posts: 42
Originally Posted by tomsteve
you have the strength. dont let that lie stop ya from going to a meeting.
you can also search the www for "big book online" ,read it online, and learn what the prgrams about and how life can change as a result of following the suggestions.
one day atta time.
you can also search the www for "big book online" ,read it online, and learn what the prgrams about and how life can change as a result of following the suggestions.
one day atta time.
This can be done
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Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: Central Coast, CA
Posts: 26
Originally Posted by AlHowSoonisNow
Thanks. Yeah I'm looking forward to a new chapter. A sober life is my only option now.
what I'm feeling right now is just not worth it. for what? an alcoholic beverage? so dissappointed in myself right now. I feel like my heart has been broken. I suppose it has been, by me.
Thinking of making a video diary of my sober journey. The progress starts from now with my big, black, swollen lip....
what I'm feeling right now is just not worth it. for what? an alcoholic beverage? so dissappointed in myself right now. I feel like my heart has been broken. I suppose it has been, by me.
Thinking of making a video diary of my sober journey. The progress starts from now with my big, black, swollen lip....
I called my parents and if you have someone you love dearly, much like my parents, getting it out there and showing yourself and your vulnerability to them and accepting their help really takes a weight off of you. It is up to you to make this journey, but you have help!
It has been one month for me and I can honestly say I am so happy already with my sobriety. Not saying it does not have it's challenges, but there is so much more out there and to live for.
Just have someone you can bounce your thoughts off of... because if anything I can tell you, my wife, the most amazing person I know and a normal drinker, does not understand a lick of what it is to be an alcoholic or the way our minds work.
These forums have greatly helped me and just keep posting! And do try the movies when you need to lose yourself. It works!!
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Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: Purgatory
Posts: 42
Originally Posted by teatreeoil007
Welcome to the board alhowisnow...sounds like you've had a very rough time of it. Sorry to hear about that and hope that brighter days are ahead. Keep checking in here and take care!
FreeOwl's mantra : drink=trouble. I need it tattoo'd on my forehead
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Join Date: Oct 2015
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Originally Posted by Crete211
The shame and disappointment will fade. I know they are so strong right now and you think you can kill the feelings... but they will be right there next time you are sober. Those will not go away unless you are sober.
I called my parents and if you have someone you love dearly, much like my parents, getting it out there and showing yourself and your vulnerability to them and accepting their help really takes a weight off of you. It is up to you to make this journey, but you have help!
It has been one month for me and I can honestly say I am so happy already with my sobriety. Not saying it does not have it's challenges, but there is so much more out there and to live for.
Just have someone you can bounce your thoughts off of... because if anything I can tell you, my wife, the most amazing person I know and a normal drinker, does not understand a lick of what it is to be an alcoholic or the way our minds work.
These forums have greatly helped me and just keep posting! And do try the movies when you need to lose yourself. It works!!
I called my parents and if you have someone you love dearly, much like my parents, getting it out there and showing yourself and your vulnerability to them and accepting their help really takes a weight off of you. It is up to you to make this journey, but you have help!
It has been one month for me and I can honestly say I am so happy already with my sobriety. Not saying it does not have it's challenges, but there is so much more out there and to live for.
Just have someone you can bounce your thoughts off of... because if anything I can tell you, my wife, the most amazing person I know and a normal drinker, does not understand a lick of what it is to be an alcoholic or the way our minds work.
These forums have greatly helped me and just keep posting! And do try the movies when you need to lose yourself. It works!!
Parents is not an option, but I get your point. It would be fantastic to have someone to bounce stuff off....right now I'm kind of alone with this. I did kind of call my so called friend who was been a dick about me drinking soda water when we were out last week and told him what happened.....and told him that's why I wanted to stop drinking......his response was "you never mentioned that part to me...." I suppose the lesson there is I may just need to say "it doesn't agree with me" to any "enquiries......not really that it's anyones' business, but in a social/friend situation people are going to ask....."it doesn't agree with me" is the total truth...
maybe I could get that bouncing off with the aa thing....I didn't have the will to leave the house today. Mouth is all black and I was weak but with no appetite. It's coming back now.....just ordered in Chinese food.....
my mother called me tonight actually. She's to ring back. Haven't spoken to her in about a month. But I won't be saying anything...she'd only view it in how it would affect her. So, pointless really...
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Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: America
Posts: 4,136
Originally Posted by AlHowSoonisNow
Thanks!! Yeah it wasn't the most pleasant of evenings that's for sure...I really cannot afford to let that repeat again....I'm just drained from it. It's time to move on, move forward..
FreeOwl's mantra : drink=trouble. I need it tattoo'd on my forehead
FreeOwl's mantra : drink=trouble. I need it tattoo'd on my forehead
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Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
Originally Posted by AlHowSoonisNow
I've downloaded it at least and know where there's some meetings. Limited amount but there are some.
This can be done
This can be done
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