Roxyblues

Lol, no when you are an alcoholic because an alcoholic mind is stuck in a negative feed back loop driven by self centered fear . . . fear of what can go wrong tomorrow, what others are thinking, what others are saying, what so and so is going to do and on and on and on.

It is amazing how that which once sucked is now okay or even pretty cool when my attitude changes and I am centered spiritually.

This is why they say no changes early in sobriety. Our minds tell us things that ain't true. The problem is us, not our jobs or the people around us. Change ourselves first and then evaluate the situation objectively.

BixBees505

Owl, touché.
Teatreeoil, I had to look up what you were EVEN talking about with the "bought the field" reference. Nice. Still mulling.

matilda123

Great point. And drinking will definitely make any job stressful!

FreeOwl

yes!!!!

Incontrol15

Hey scram. Hope all is well.

I have a bit of an odd look at that situation.
See, I had a robust career with frequent advancements and recognitions. Then I became indifferent about my job. I started caring less. And obviously I was losing interest. I was not happy at all. Before long, I was taking short cuts and cheating the system when I could. I received a demotion as a result and then got fired later for cheating again.

What's odd, is the same pattern happened with my marriage. That ended with me cheating. I was not happy.

I learned something and recognized a pattern in my life with that experience. My drinking was getting heavier and heavier along the way. Now, one has to ask...which is the chicken and which is the egg? Was I not happy with my job and drank as a result, or was my drinking making me depressed and unhappy.

Now that I'm sober for over 5 months, the answer is clear to me now. And looking back with 20/20 vision, my drinking most definitely negatively impacted my outlook on life and made me unhappy in general. I looked blamed my job and my wife, when in reality it was the alcohol.

My "odd" take on it all is this. I believe alcohol wants one thing.....for you to drink it ALL the time. I've come to believe it wants you jobless, alone, and homeless so it can have ALL your attention. It's got a self preservation system in place to ensure you always come back to it.

I think the best advise given was to stop drinking and see how it goes. Your outlook WILL improve.

tursiops999

Hi Scram -- I can certainly relate and empathize with your dilemma.

I had a similar situation -- worked a high stress job (accounting-related) with long hours, but was successful and made good money. I would work long stressful days, then come home and drink wine to "unwind".

My work has seasonal variations. I got sober during the "quiet" season last fall. That extra time really helped me get a good start on sobriety, with plenty of time for meetings and step work.

A few months later the busy season kicked in to high gear and I was back to long hours. I could feel my recovery work really suffering ... I didn't drink, but I could feel that the long hours on the job would not be compatible with long-term sobriety. It's not only the time needed for recovery work, but I just can't afford to build up that much stress each day from overwork (I should emphasize that in my field it is normal to work 65 hours a week for months on end).

I finished out the busy season fulfilling my obligations to my employer. Then I negotiated a new arrangement, with limited hours (no more OT). The agreement includes less money, but that's OK as I have to protect my sobriety no matter the cost.

So for me, the answer was that I had to make changes to my career. I'm fortunate that I didn't have to change jobs, just negotiate a new agreement. All jobs have stress, and part of my recovery is learning how to manage and cope with stress, but I think some jobs are really over the top and not tolerable. Maybe someone with better sober muscles than me could handle it .. but I gotta know my limitations.

SportsFan15

I needed to read this....especially the line about the alcoholic mind. Thanks Roxy!!!

😊😊😊👍👍👍

Roxyblues

Yep, my friend tells me not to believe anything I am thinking when I atressing out because it ain't true. Pretty sad that this is spot on.

MythOfSisyphus

Great thread! I have spent the bulk of my adult life working as a chef, a job with lots of stress, intense pressure and sometimes very long hours. There was a ten or fifteen year period when I never worked less than 55 hours a week and usually far more. Booze seemed like a miracle drug, a magical solution to the stress. Just twenty minutes and two or three beers/wines/drinks into the night I could feel all the stress disappear. Of course, it only seemed to vanish. Mostly booze just kicked the can down the road, usually to the next morning. As my drinking habit grew the hangovers got worse and worse. I drank to deal with the stress (or so I thought) but I'd feel so bad the next day that the entire day was terrible, leading me to drink even more.

My new job is still Executive Chef, and since I'm new to the restaurant I'm putting in 60+ hours to get caught up, but I will probably get it down to 48 hours per week soon. And truthfully I don't bring home much of any stress at all.

The OP is really framing two important but separate issues; is sobriety compatible with a stressful, time-intensive job and is such a job a workable way to live one's life. Both are potent questions! I will say that as to the latter, you will have to make that determination for yourself. But personally I don't think it's worth it. You have only one life, and it's not worth squandering it on a job that is inherently meaningless that also makes you miserable. What good is money if you're completely unhappy? Your answer to that second question will inform the first. If you hate your job and feel it renders your life meaningless it will make sobriety much more challenging.

Sobriety is really important, critical really. I will opine that it's more important than any job you could have. Do what gives you the best odds of staying sober, and beyond that take a long hard look at what you think is meaningful in life.

dcg

Jobs aren't stressful; working a job that you hate is stressful.

FreeOwl

I guess what I meant is that very, very few people are blessed to have a 'job' they actually love and that comes without stress. Even jobs that we do love come with stress - because they are jobs and life involves stress.

Jobs are by nature somewhat consuming. They consume a large chunk of our lives.

True enough if we are able to see meaning in our work, if we see our work as aligned with our purpose, then the stressful parts are easier to roll with and the consuming parts equate to a certain intrinsic reward. But in an age where so many of us work at jobs we sort of feel we have to do, while longing for something more, this is a real challenge.

Sobriety has enabled me to see the value in my work and to see its place in my life in a different light. Sobriety has enabled me to better deal with the stress and to create boundaries to keep my work from consuming me. Yet still I long for something more. Something with deeper purpose.

thomas11

Hi Scram, as you can see there is no shortage of viewpoints regarding job stress and alcohol. I can't offer you any advice other than I have heard many a story of people in the financial industry and the legal industry that work themselves to the bone, make really good money and develop a substance abuse problem. You guys are warriors. I believe the most important thing to try and figure out is whether or not the job is ruining your happiness or if the booze is ruining your happiness. Sometimes that is difficult to dissect.

SportsFan15

This literally happened today at work. I stressed. I called a friend and said "what I'm about to say is a major reaction to a not major thing"....and yet my friends still believe I should look for a different job. I'm kinda lost still on this decision

TroyW

Honestly, I can't really relate, because I would have drank no matter what. Wouldn't have mattered if I was stressed out or not, I still would have drank.

There's definitely been times where I was heavily stressed out, but thankfully I'm self employed, so was usually able to take care of it within a few months. Whether that was develop a training program and hire people, or partner with another company and leverage their personnel / resources, just straight up sell the company, etc. One time I bought a second phone, and gave my (soon to-be) husband my primary phone, and let him screen my calls. He had no idea about my work, which was good, because it kept the calls short, otherwise he would have been on the phone 90 hours a day, which obviously wouldn't work. Poor guy had people breaking down crying to him, and screaming at him, and... uggh.

Personally, I would have drank regardless of what period in my life I was in. Stress or no stress, I was going to be drunk.

I do right now. I can make it as stressful as I'd like, if I wanted to earn more money. Just don't have the ambition these days though, plus I have no worries about finances really. Ain't rich, but not worried about the bills.