Starting again for the last time
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 27
Starting again for the last time
Hi,
Back in May I decided I was sick & tired of being sick & tired and promised never to touch drink or drugs again. This lasted a couple of weeks, then I slipped back into the same destructive spirals with alcohol, weed & coke.
The last 4 months have flown by, a roller coaster of being high as a kite, in the gutter, lying to my wife, my family, my self, spending money I haven't got, driving to buy coke when drunk, smoking weed in the morning, missing days off work & generally speeding head on into a relationship breakdown / losing my driving licence / losing my business / financial ruin / worse.
Luckily, I still have my marriage, my business & no criminal record, but the sensible me inside my head is crying out to the addictive destructive me to stop now before it's too late.
So I'm back, with 100% commitment not to ever drink or take drugs again. I plan to go to Smart recovery meetings, & check in here every day, to get support & to support others.
I was going to create a new profile and start again here, due to the shame of failing last time, but this journey is about facing up to truths, and no more lies, so it's the same profile admitting I slipped.
NOTHING is going to get in the way of this wonderful new life of sobriety now, & I've never been more excited about the future as I am now!! Thanks for listening, speak soon X
Back in May I decided I was sick & tired of being sick & tired and promised never to touch drink or drugs again. This lasted a couple of weeks, then I slipped back into the same destructive spirals with alcohol, weed & coke.
The last 4 months have flown by, a roller coaster of being high as a kite, in the gutter, lying to my wife, my family, my self, spending money I haven't got, driving to buy coke when drunk, smoking weed in the morning, missing days off work & generally speeding head on into a relationship breakdown / losing my driving licence / losing my business / financial ruin / worse.
Luckily, I still have my marriage, my business & no criminal record, but the sensible me inside my head is crying out to the addictive destructive me to stop now before it's too late.
So I'm back, with 100% commitment not to ever drink or take drugs again. I plan to go to Smart recovery meetings, & check in here every day, to get support & to support others.
I was going to create a new profile and start again here, due to the shame of failing last time, but this journey is about facing up to truths, and no more lies, so it's the same profile admitting I slipped.
NOTHING is going to get in the way of this wonderful new life of sobriety now, & I've never been more excited about the future as I am now!! Thanks for listening, speak soon X
Sober since 10th April 2012
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Perth, Western Australia
Posts: 6,047
Hi snoop, do you have a plan for when the cravings hit or the old habits kick in? You're motivated, that's great, but some strategies for those moments in the future when it would be easy to pick up a drink will increase your chances of success.
When you first start you're disgusted with yourself and have a clear idea of why you don't want to drink, but also plan for the times when motivation isn't so strong.
When you first start you're disgusted with yourself and have a clear idea of why you don't want to drink, but also plan for the times when motivation isn't so strong.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 27
Hi FeelingGreat,
Thanks for the reply,
Yes,I realise it can be easy to come steaming in here on day one in a blaze of glory about how great everything is going to be, but the more I read these forums the more I realise how important a long term plan is.
I plan to go to a weekly SMART group, & use this forum regularly. I have also been reading a lot about the psychology of addiction, and now whenever the thought of having a drink arises, instead of thinking only of the immediate pleasure that a drink brings, I need to think beyond, to the losing control, the going off to buy drugs, the hangover, the money, the shame - instead of just the first pleasure of the drink. I think this is CBT thinking.
Apart from that & having just signed up to 2 new evening classes I don't really have much more of a plan.
You must see so many day 1's / week 1's come & go so thanks for the advice I'll work on the plan
Thanks for the reply,
Yes,I realise it can be easy to come steaming in here on day one in a blaze of glory about how great everything is going to be, but the more I read these forums the more I realise how important a long term plan is.
I plan to go to a weekly SMART group, & use this forum regularly. I have also been reading a lot about the psychology of addiction, and now whenever the thought of having a drink arises, instead of thinking only of the immediate pleasure that a drink brings, I need to think beyond, to the losing control, the going off to buy drugs, the hangover, the money, the shame - instead of just the first pleasure of the drink. I think this is CBT thinking.
Apart from that & having just signed up to 2 new evening classes I don't really have much more of a plan.
You must see so many day 1's / week 1's come & go so thanks for the advice I'll work on the plan
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: C.C. Ma.
Posts: 3,697
Hi.
A good positive outlook is very helpful in overcoming this addiction we have and bring it under control, I didn’t say cure it. Most who fail have a habit of forgetting how bad things were along with the pain and misery we endured. Recovery is for a lifetime and with an alcoholics ego, memory and fragility we need a lot of help people wise and attention to work and changes to fill the vacuum alcohol filled.
An old timer at a meeting I attend often says caution is the word as alcohol will grab us back in a heartbeat. After a lot of sober years I still go to 3-5 meetings because I know the difficulty it is to recover after a relapse and I’m grateful to say I haven’t had a desire to drink in a lot of years.
BE WELL
A good positive outlook is very helpful in overcoming this addiction we have and bring it under control, I didn’t say cure it. Most who fail have a habit of forgetting how bad things were along with the pain and misery we endured. Recovery is for a lifetime and with an alcoholics ego, memory and fragility we need a lot of help people wise and attention to work and changes to fill the vacuum alcohol filled.
An old timer at a meeting I attend often says caution is the word as alcohol will grab us back in a heartbeat. After a lot of sober years I still go to 3-5 meetings because I know the difficulty it is to recover after a relapse and I’m grateful to say I haven’t had a desire to drink in a lot of years.
BE WELL
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: US
Posts: 5,095
Hi Snoop
Welcome back. For me denial is really amazing. Even when I'm sober, feeling like I'm admitting everything, I'm usually not. I've been sober since June but I still see denial in my thinking all the time. Its such an elaborate construct for me.
You can do this!
Welcome back. For me denial is really amazing. Even when I'm sober, feeling like I'm admitting everything, I'm usually not. I've been sober since June but I still see denial in my thinking all the time. Its such an elaborate construct for me.
You can do this!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,874
Welcome back, snoop.
Congratulations on your decision to lead a sober life. SMART recovery meeting and posting and reading often sounds like a good beginning of a plan.
don't be afraid to add additional tools to your sobriety toolbox to help you deal with cravings, urges and triggering situations.
there are a couple of good links here; I'll find and post them in a moment.
Congratulations on your decision to lead a sober life. SMART recovery meeting and posting and reading often sounds like a good beginning of a plan.
don't be afraid to add additional tools to your sobriety toolbox to help you deal with cravings, urges and triggering situations.
there are a couple of good links here; I'll find and post them in a moment.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,874
These links are great for cravings and urges:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-cravings.html
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...e-surfing.html
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-cravings.html
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...e-surfing.html
day 2 here we go (isn't it nice getting up without a hangover)
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