The Downward Spiral
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 3,550
P.S. You may encounter some folks, some doctors, even some counselors, who suggest that you might be able to drink "moderately", that "maybe it would be a good idea if you try to cut down on your drinking a bit". They may have some "statistical" data to back this up. They may say that AA perhaps doesn't help very much. I'll bet your AV has been agreeing with them for a long time and suggesting that you might "give this a try" ("You're all right. Maybe had a bit too much to drink last night, huh?").
Well here's a question worth thinking about, probably more than just "thinking about". From all that's gone on in your life do you still even consider the possibility that you might be able to drink "moderately"? And even more important, Do you even want to take the terrible risk of trying to do this after all these years?
Do you? Or isn't it time to start getting sobriety by "giving up" poison, disaster and eventually a painful death?
W
Well here's a question worth thinking about, probably more than just "thinking about". From all that's gone on in your life do you still even consider the possibility that you might be able to drink "moderately"? And even more important, Do you even want to take the terrible risk of trying to do this after all these years?
Do you? Or isn't it time to start getting sobriety by "giving up" poison, disaster and eventually a painful death?
W
Left the bottle behind 4/16/2015
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: NC
Posts: 1,416
Hello vinylfever, from a fellow Carolinian. 
I enjoyed your post and am glad to read the followup about your first AA meeting. I drank for the better (or worst) part of 28 years and didn't start going to AA until the past year. I knew of the steps and knew long ago I was powerless over alcohol but, like you, I thought I could muscle my way through it with willpower. I also longed for dire consequences, whether it be from friends, family, employers, law enforcement, anyone, to get in my face and make me stop!
Not to worry. Over time, I got all that. In the last 4 months of my drinking, all the things I'd always said I never did, I did. I, too, thought I was different from other alcoholics. I had never gotten a DWI, never crashed my car because I was driving drunk, never lost a job due to my drinking, never experienced a blackout. Between mid-December '14 and mid-April '15, I started having blackouts, lost friends I didn't even remember speaking to, forgot days I was supposed to have custody of my kids, drove drunk with them in the car, passed out frequently while they were in my care, lost my job because I was drunk, totaled my car the very next day, breaking my neck, and getting my first DWI. In one fell swoop, I did all the things I'd never done...yet. I wasn't quite as fortunate as you when it came to the outcome of the DWI. I've lost my license for a year, but at least I have a restricted license that allows me to go to work.
It's a long, steep, uphill climb to try and rebuild my life now. Anytime you catch yourself thinking again that you're possibly not an alcoholic because you haven't experienced what some others have, just add the word "yet." Alcoholism is insidious. It doesn't get better, it is progressive, meaning it gets worse if we continue to drink. That's the important part.
I am finding a lot of help in AA and actually working the steps. When I first started going to meetings, I mostly went just to be around people who understood me. That wasn't enough, as I relapsed several times before I had my wreck. That woke me up. It is a miracle I wasn't killed, and an even bigger miracle no one else was involved, as I was in a blackout the whole time.
I enjoyed your post and am glad to read the followup about your first AA meeting. I drank for the better (or worst) part of 28 years and didn't start going to AA until the past year. I knew of the steps and knew long ago I was powerless over alcohol but, like you, I thought I could muscle my way through it with willpower. I also longed for dire consequences, whether it be from friends, family, employers, law enforcement, anyone, to get in my face and make me stop! Not to worry. Over time, I got all that. In the last 4 months of my drinking, all the things I'd always said I never did, I did. I, too, thought I was different from other alcoholics. I had never gotten a DWI, never crashed my car because I was driving drunk, never lost a job due to my drinking, never experienced a blackout. Between mid-December '14 and mid-April '15, I started having blackouts, lost friends I didn't even remember speaking to, forgot days I was supposed to have custody of my kids, drove drunk with them in the car, passed out frequently while they were in my care, lost my job because I was drunk, totaled my car the very next day, breaking my neck, and getting my first DWI. In one fell swoop, I did all the things I'd never done...yet. I wasn't quite as fortunate as you when it came to the outcome of the DWI. I've lost my license for a year, but at least I have a restricted license that allows me to go to work.
It's a long, steep, uphill climb to try and rebuild my life now. Anytime you catch yourself thinking again that you're possibly not an alcoholic because you haven't experienced what some others have, just add the word "yet." Alcoholism is insidious. It doesn't get better, it is progressive, meaning it gets worse if we continue to drink. That's the important part.
I am finding a lot of help in AA and actually working the steps. When I first started going to meetings, I mostly went just to be around people who understood me. That wasn't enough, as I relapsed several times before I had my wreck. That woke me up. It is a miracle I wasn't killed, and an even bigger miracle no one else was involved, as I was in a blackout the whole time.
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