Piggyback...
Blue Belt
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Soberville, USA
Posts: 4,174
Piggyback...
Reasons not to go to an AA meeting....thinking out loud here...not kidding.... brain storming...looking for feedback...
In turn....
Busy w sober life.
Scared.
Don't want to be the new guy in the room that is supposed to listen.
I don't want people to know I have a problem. My car in the parking lot will be a give away.
I will never drink again. These last 118 days have been a living hell.
I have lost 25 pounds and am starting to look pretty good for a 50 year old ex drunk. Who needs AA?
I will never drink again. I am now educated on the effects of alcohol....
I will never drink again, I don't want to die....
What can I get from AA that I can't get from all of you here in SR. Many of you attend AA so can't I learn from you?
I've listened to an online AA meeting recently, and listening to a kid talk about the 12 steps for 36 minutes didn't do it for me...I made it through about 6 minutes...could take it..
That pretty much sums it up....
Spears please..
..
In turn....
Busy w sober life.
Scared.
Don't want to be the new guy in the room that is supposed to listen.
I don't want people to know I have a problem. My car in the parking lot will be a give away.
I will never drink again. These last 118 days have been a living hell.
I have lost 25 pounds and am starting to look pretty good for a 50 year old ex drunk. Who needs AA?
I will never drink again. I am now educated on the effects of alcohol....
I will never drink again, I don't want to die....
What can I get from AA that I can't get from all of you here in SR. Many of you attend AA so can't I learn from you?
I've listened to an online AA meeting recently, and listening to a kid talk about the 12 steps for 36 minutes didn't do it for me...I made it through about 6 minutes...could take it..
That pretty much sums it up....
Spears please..
..
EndGame
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 4,677
Most of us focus on all the bad things that can happen if we go to an AA meeting. I was hoping for a way out before I went to my first meeting in 1983. Though initially horrified that there was someone I knew at the meeting, I was pleasantly surprised that I'd found what I was looking for, even though I may not have been able to adequately put that into words at the time.
Millions of people use AA, and our reasons for doing so are not prioritized in the same exact order. Unless most of us are masochists, then we're probably getting something from our participation that brings relief. Maybe strength, courage...even lasting sobriety. For me, it was also a life that I could only imagine and one that I dreaded to risk before I got sober.
My participation in AA never turned me into a drone or a True Believer. It doesn't turn fine minds into oatmeal. On the contrary, it nurtures our thinking and our imagination around who we've been, who we are, and what we can become. I recently celebrated four years of sobriety at an anniversary meeting following an extremely destructive three-year relapse. My former sponsor spoke, and told those in attendance, and reminded me, that immediately after I asked him to be my sponsor, the first thing I said was, "What do I need to do?"
I don't have any investment in anyone using AA or any other form of recovery in order to get sober. I don't care enough to debate recovery methods. After twenty five years of sobriety, the first half of which I was involved in AA, I knew it was the only thing that was going to work for me.
The worst thing that can happen if you go to a meeting is that you might hear something that can save your life.
Millions of people use AA, and our reasons for doing so are not prioritized in the same exact order. Unless most of us are masochists, then we're probably getting something from our participation that brings relief. Maybe strength, courage...even lasting sobriety. For me, it was also a life that I could only imagine and one that I dreaded to risk before I got sober.
My participation in AA never turned me into a drone or a True Believer. It doesn't turn fine minds into oatmeal. On the contrary, it nurtures our thinking and our imagination around who we've been, who we are, and what we can become. I recently celebrated four years of sobriety at an anniversary meeting following an extremely destructive three-year relapse. My former sponsor spoke, and told those in attendance, and reminded me, that immediately after I asked him to be my sponsor, the first thing I said was, "What do I need to do?"
I don't have any investment in anyone using AA or any other form of recovery in order to get sober. I don't care enough to debate recovery methods. After twenty five years of sobriety, the first half of which I was involved in AA, I knew it was the only thing that was going to work for me.
The worst thing that can happen if you go to a meeting is that you might hear something that can save your life.
Member
Join Date: May 2015
Location: UK
Posts: 1,042
What about Rational Recovery? AVRT. That's another way people get and stay sober, no meetings needed apparently. I'm just reading the book now, so not an expert (or even know very much at all), but seems a good alternative if AA is not for you.
Good luck x
Good luck x
Member
Join Date: Jun 2015
Posts: 2,580
Hi Di22y --
No spears from me!
I got sober in AA, but I've learned from SR that AA is not the only way, and people have been successful with other methods. So I guess like all of us, you get to decide for yourself what's working, and what you plan to do to maintain your sobriety.
My personal take on what AA has to offer, has to do with the "living hell" part. For me, there's two parts to this thing -- getting sober, and then finding a way to enjoy my life and be comfortable while being sober. AA has an answer to that second question, and teaches it to those who want to learn the methods. (Again, it's not the only answer, but an answer that has worked for many).
I don't want to repeat my early weeks/months of sobriety either, but they actually weren't a living hell for me. They were a time of amazing discovery and a lot of good feelings, along with the challenging and uncomfortable feelings. AA helped me tremendously during that time, and continues to help me be happier in sobriety.
Congratulations on your 118 days, and best wishes with whatever methods you decide are right for you!
No spears from me!
I got sober in AA, but I've learned from SR that AA is not the only way, and people have been successful with other methods. So I guess like all of us, you get to decide for yourself what's working, and what you plan to do to maintain your sobriety.My personal take on what AA has to offer, has to do with the "living hell" part. For me, there's two parts to this thing -- getting sober, and then finding a way to enjoy my life and be comfortable while being sober. AA has an answer to that second question, and teaches it to those who want to learn the methods. (Again, it's not the only answer, but an answer that has worked for many).
I don't want to repeat my early weeks/months of sobriety either, but they actually weren't a living hell for me. They were a time of amazing discovery and a lot of good feelings, along with the challenging and uncomfortable feelings. AA helped me tremendously during that time, and continues to help me be happier in sobriety.
Congratulations on your 118 days, and best wishes with whatever methods you decide are right for you!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 10,912
Hi D122y,
I was also "scared" of going to AA meetings in the beginning. Why? For me, it wasn't any sort of belief-based reservation or antagonistic stance (I think I'm one of the most open-minded individuals I know in this context), more in the area of getting out there with my all my dirty secrets, getting "naked" with these things that I was hiding for so many years, and mingling with people in 3D reality. Intellectually, rationally, I knew very well that everyone at the meetings would have similar secrets, but somehow emotionally I had strong blocks. Some of my fave excuses were: (1) what if I meet someone I know (worst of all, perhaps a work colleague)? (2) how could I possibly have time to participate and attend regularly with my schedule and all the other things I wanted to explore in sobriety?
Well, answer to (1) was first unpleasant and then easy. I did manage to run into familiar faces. What dreadful things happened? None. I actually became good friends with a colleague I never much noticed at work, when we met in AA.
(2) has been more complex. I have never ended up being a strong and very regular participant of AA. I have also never worked the 12-step program "officially", as prescribed. But I did study the literature, discussed it with members, and took what I thought was helpful for me at a given time. I use AA and its meetings "as needed", this style ended up working well for me and never interfered with my involvement in SR (which has been my main sobriety support system and community) or other areas of life. In my experience, it is possible to use AA as a supplementary tool. What's good about it? For me, the actual meetings, going to someplace being with people who share my journey in everyday flesh and blood reality, and occasionally arranging other activities with a select few I met through AA. I tend to go to meetings in clusters, typically a few for a couple weeks or so when I am feeling particularly unsteady and in need of a boost to my recovery regime. I find myself providing the same to others in AA: sometimes intense support and interaction when needed, but I have never been available all the time or very regularly. I have been doing the latter more on SR and in other areas of service work.
I think that it is possible to use AA (and SR, or any other recovery method) in many different ways -- the thing to do is to tinker for a while and figure out what works best. Why eliminate something without ever experiencing it?
I was also "scared" of going to AA meetings in the beginning. Why? For me, it wasn't any sort of belief-based reservation or antagonistic stance (I think I'm one of the most open-minded individuals I know in this context), more in the area of getting out there with my all my dirty secrets, getting "naked" with these things that I was hiding for so many years, and mingling with people in 3D reality. Intellectually, rationally, I knew very well that everyone at the meetings would have similar secrets, but somehow emotionally I had strong blocks. Some of my fave excuses were: (1) what if I meet someone I know (worst of all, perhaps a work colleague)? (2) how could I possibly have time to participate and attend regularly with my schedule and all the other things I wanted to explore in sobriety?
Well, answer to (1) was first unpleasant and then easy. I did manage to run into familiar faces. What dreadful things happened? None. I actually became good friends with a colleague I never much noticed at work, when we met in AA.
(2) has been more complex. I have never ended up being a strong and very regular participant of AA. I have also never worked the 12-step program "officially", as prescribed. But I did study the literature, discussed it with members, and took what I thought was helpful for me at a given time. I use AA and its meetings "as needed", this style ended up working well for me and never interfered with my involvement in SR (which has been my main sobriety support system and community) or other areas of life. In my experience, it is possible to use AA as a supplementary tool. What's good about it? For me, the actual meetings, going to someplace being with people who share my journey in everyday flesh and blood reality, and occasionally arranging other activities with a select few I met through AA. I tend to go to meetings in clusters, typically a few for a couple weeks or so when I am feeling particularly unsteady and in need of a boost to my recovery regime. I find myself providing the same to others in AA: sometimes intense support and interaction when needed, but I have never been available all the time or very regularly. I have been doing the latter more on SR and in other areas of service work.
I think that it is possible to use AA (and SR, or any other recovery method) in many different ways -- the thing to do is to tinker for a while and figure out what works best. Why eliminate something without ever experiencing it?
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,445
Reasons to go to an AA meeting
* it's an hour long investment - a mere 1/24 of your day
* you can judge the experience on its merits rather than preconceptions
* what have you got to lose?
D
* it's an hour long investment - a mere 1/24 of your day
* you can judge the experience on its merits rather than preconceptions
* what have you got to lose?
D
Guest
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: Michigan
Posts: 772
Reasons to go- Maybe something you say will help someone else stay sober that day. The newcomer is the most important person at an AA meeting. Helping other people stay sober will help you stay sober! Don't let fear rule you! I used to...sometimes you need to step outside your comfort zone.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 1,869
Hello:
You sound like an AVRTer, have you checked it out?
I haven't gone to AA, it works for some but it isn't for me, however I use other methods, in this case AVRT and use SR for interactive support.
Just not drinking really blows! You need to do some self work to get out of the living hell you talk about. You are not alone, others have been where you are. I suggest that you keep educating yourself and getting to know yourself and this will help.
Hope to see you around.
You sound like an AVRTer, have you checked it out?
I haven't gone to AA, it works for some but it isn't for me, however I use other methods, in this case AVRT and use SR for interactive support.
Just not drinking really blows! You need to do some self work to get out of the living hell you talk about. You are not alone, others have been where you are. I suggest that you keep educating yourself and getting to know yourself and this will help.
Hope to see you around.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 873
I don't go to AA so I probably shouldn't be commenting but I think I'd be relieved if I ran into someone I knew.
First off, they're in the same boat you are and are very unlikely to go telling the world. Second, there's someone in your social and/or work circles that has the same problem. I'd be like "whoa it's not just me?" And finally maybe you'd make a friend.
I have other reasons for not going to AA, more power to you if it's your thing. But I wouldn't sweat running into an acquaintance.
First off, they're in the same boat you are and are very unlikely to go telling the world. Second, there's someone in your social and/or work circles that has the same problem. I'd be like "whoa it's not just me?" And finally maybe you'd make a friend.
I have other reasons for not going to AA, more power to you if it's your thing. But I wouldn't sweat running into an acquaintance.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Southern Oregon U.S.
Posts: 1,023
I hit my first meeting at 8 months when I needed some help. It was good. If you feel like you're hitting a rough patch don't hesitate to try one. It felt good venting to a group of people. I met some nice folks, and it helped me through a tough time.
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