Macali

Hi, I tried to post earlier but somehow my post got lost. I joined SR last year and continued to drink on and off until nearly 5 months ago and have remained sober since. I had a strange happening that convinced me there is more to this life but that is for another time. I have read as many books on alcohol and addiction as I could, I have managed concerts, celebrations and a two week holiday in the sun without alcohol. I had the initial withdrawals and along the way anxiety, mood changes and anger. One minute I am loving life, the next I am numb.I thought I would have nailed the cravings by this time but know I have a way to go. Reading and learning from the posts in SR I now know this is all part of the journey to a sober and happier life. I have been helped by my OH giving up the day I did. I still have not fully convinced myself that my sobriety is forever but know that I need to at some point. Today really tested me. The teenage son of a close friend of 20 plus years took his own life last night. I got the call this morning, and the first thought I had
was to drink. I needed something to take away the horror and the pain. I didn't. I need to be present and sober and strong for my friend when he needs me. I haven't logged on in a long time but have been reading posts more recently which have helped hugely in my recovery. Thank you to SR.