ZeroNowhere570

Awhile ago, I posted my first thread here, ever, months ago, maybe even approaching a year. Since then, my addiction has gotten worse. At the time of my first post, I thought THAT was rock bottom... Boy was I wrong.

Since then, I'm drinking until I blackout everyday. Mostly Monday through Friday, as I come home with stress. Believe it or not, I drink less on the weekends than I do during work weeks. Anyway...

Me and my girlfriend of almost 3 years share an apartment. She works 2nd shift, 3-11, and I work 1st, 6-230. When she comes home, im blacked out, hammered drunk. This is everyday. In th past 5 months I've urinated on our bedroom carpet twice, once in our second closet (all over her work clothes thinking I was in a stall at my job; yeah THAT drunk) and once in our bed, a queen size mattress, gorgeous bed. Since then, I've been sleeping on the floor, she still sleeps on the pissy bed. I feel so bad.

I don't know how to fix me. I feel so bad for my girlfriend, she works herself stupid... And she comes home to sleep on a pissy mattress 7 days a week. Idk what to do about my addiction. Sometimes I feel like I deserve to die, to atleast escape everything....but I'm afraid of that. We had such a good life, a little cute apartment until my addiction took a turn for the worst.

I'm begging you all, please.... As a 24 year old man, how do I go about fixing all of this? Because I don't want this anymore, or my life............

Angelsmiln

Call your Dr. They can help you with withdrawals and to find a therapy that's right for you.

IOAA2

WELCOME BACK.

Actually the process is simple though far from easy for most. We don’t have the first drink one day at a time in a row. As the expression goes ”YA GUTTA WANA.” I needed the only help available at the time, the program of AA and the people there who support each other so we use the tools given at meetings.

There are other ways also but I’m really an advocate of what worked for me and millions of others world wide.

BE WELL

Anna

I hope that you're ready to make the decision to stop drinking. It's a good idea to have a plan and know that you have support here from us:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...at-we-did.html

sva777

I have been in a similar situation. All the blackout stuff I did it is a wonder my wife stayed with me. Thing us I am pretty sure she would have left if I kept in doing it.

First it took me a few trys but once I was sick and tired of being sick all the time I realized how much better it can be. Been over half a year and it's great being able to do stuff together and remember things. It is also great to not always feel ashamed of some dumb thing I did.

Make a plan, stick to it and you will feel much better.

NestWasEmpty

Zeronowhere , Your not alone in doing some off the wall things Drinking , don't beat yourself up !! Sounds like you do have a wonderful GF , your only 24 whole life in front of you
People here in SR will help , but you have to do the work . Make an appointment with your Dr . see how he/she can help . Than make a plan & stick with it . Things will get better with time . You will be surprised what just a few weeks Sober or days even can make you feel .
Toss out the old - start with the New

BringingBackB

Yep, I've done most of those things myself.

Staying sober isn't easy, but it is worth it. It might be an idea to go see a doctor who may be able to give you something to help with the withdrawal. That would be the first step. Have you any idea of a plan to keep you sober? There are lots of support systems out there nowadays other than AA if it's not your bag, there's pretty much something for everyone be it SMART, SOS, Refuge recovery, Ratonal Recovery etc etc. Check them out There is also a tonne of support here on SR, it's my main support tool!

Buggirl

I am 35 and I wish I had posted here when I was 24! You have a better life waiting. You just got to not drink for today. Do you know what triggers you have? I know you mentioned work, but what specifically? Post here instead of drinking and get a plan. You can do this! I am nearly 11 months sober and whilst I am not going to say it is easy going, life is better without alcohol!

Dee74

I think you do really. Stop drinking is the aim, its just the method you have to sort out.

Anna's link is great for seeking out meeting based recovery groups, dealing with cravings and making recovery plans.

Do give it a read...and become a regular contributor here. It all helps

D

OnMyWay7

Ditto what the others said - you have too much to live for

thomas11

Based on your OP, I think the first step is a medical detox, then as people have mentioned getting involved in a plan. If any of those plans do not suit you, then I would seriously consider 30 day inpatient if you can't do it on your own. Sounds like you are drinking 7 days a week, 5 of those days until you pass out/blackout. You are very young, please try and use that to your advantage. You don't want to live the remainder of your life like this, correct?

Hevyn

I'm so glad you joined us, Zero. You certainly don't deserve to die - you deserve a great life without all the drama and misery drinking causes.

At 24 I knew (like you do) that I didn't drink like normal people. Each time it got in my system it led to unexpected consequences. I never meant to do all those stupid, irresponsbile things - but I kept insisting I could control myself. As a result, my life turned into a nightmare. This doesn't have to happen to you. You're wise enough to reach out for help, and you can turn this thing around. Let's do this.

PurpleDan

I was 24 when I got sober. I went to an AA meeting. I've not picked up a drink since that first meeting almost 17 years ago. I did 90 meetings in 90 days, I got a sponsor, I got phone numbers and used them, I got a big book and read it and I started working the steps. So to answer your question, get your ass to the next AA meeting near you.

skipper123

Please make tomorrow the first day of your sober life. Just don't drink tomorrow don't worry about anything else but that day. I know you r probably sick of hearing it but one day at a time is all that I can think about and I have made it 60 days tomorrow. I am a lot older than you so you have the gift of time on your side. Make the most of it!!!

Soberwolf

If your arm is reaching out my arm is reaching out too brother

Please make a point of coming here every second if it keeps you sober IOAA & D make a very valid point you gotta want it

I know you do I can tell please don't give in breaks the chains here if you want to talk