self discipline
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: us
Posts: 12
self discipline
Hi everyone-I've been on here a few times and love the forums. I am a beer drinker 15-30 a night every night. I've tried everything and have been an alcoholic since my teens. I'm now 40. I can keep a job, but have had some bad things in the past..duis, fights etc. That was all over 15 years ago. Doesn't drinking all go back to a simple action? Don't pick it up and don't drink it. I am having a hard time associating my choices with a disease. I know it's not easy but doesn't this boil down to a choice? Thanks all for listening.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Posts: 21
Hello kelkal. Posting here and reading the forums will help a lot. I haven't been here very long, but I've found that people like us have a lot in common. You will find a lot of similar stories here, as well as support from people who will not judge you or make you feel ashamed.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Ireland
Posts: 25,826
Welcome back Kelkal!! 
Choices and decisions are essential to my Sobriety, choosing what activities to get involved in or what people to hang out with to keep me Sober.
The difficulty though I found was when my addiction sold me a few myths and fairytales about how good a drink would be, and in isolation without any support it was a tough ask, when the ol' endorphins began to flow, so support became another key factor in my plan to give me a second opinion on things!!
Choices and decisions are essential to my Sobriety, choosing what activities to get involved in or what people to hang out with to keep me Sober.
The difficulty though I found was when my addiction sold me a few myths and fairytales about how good a drink would be, and in isolation without any support it was a tough ask, when the ol' endorphins began to flow, so support became another key factor in my plan to give me a second opinion on things!!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,941
Welcome, kelkal, to SR.
Whether alcoholism is a disease, or not, is controversial. If alcohol is causing problems in your life, it is something which needs to be addressed regardless of its causes or roots.
Sobriety entails abstinence; recovery involves a new lifestyle - discovering sober activities, avoiding drinking situations and drinking friends until you have attained confidence and strength in your sobriety and sober convictions, defining your alcoholic triggers and finding healthy ways to deal with them, learning to truly appreciate and cherish your sober life.
Have you considered joining a class on SR? Here is the link to the Class of August:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...15-pt-2-a.html
Whether alcoholism is a disease, or not, is controversial. If alcohol is causing problems in your life, it is something which needs to be addressed regardless of its causes or roots.
Sobriety entails abstinence; recovery involves a new lifestyle - discovering sober activities, avoiding drinking situations and drinking friends until you have attained confidence and strength in your sobriety and sober convictions, defining your alcoholic triggers and finding healthy ways to deal with them, learning to truly appreciate and cherish your sober life.
Have you considered joining a class on SR? Here is the link to the Class of August:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...15-pt-2-a.html
Guest
Join Date: Jun 2015
Posts: 444
Welcome Kelkal,
I've decided not to bother with whether I have a disease or don't. I finally just decided that enough was enough and quit. Disease or no, drinking was ruining my potential, my spirit, my health etc...
When you ask if is as simple as a "choice" I would tend to say yes. The choice is to not drink today and follow that up with choosing not to drink tomorrow etc...
Best of luck to you. Visit this site and ask anything you want to. It has been invaluable to me this summer during my quitting drinking journey.
Jonathan
I've decided not to bother with whether I have a disease or don't. I finally just decided that enough was enough and quit. Disease or no, drinking was ruining my potential, my spirit, my health etc...
When you ask if is as simple as a "choice" I would tend to say yes. The choice is to not drink today and follow that up with choosing not to drink tomorrow etc...
Best of luck to you. Visit this site and ask anything you want to. It has been invaluable to me this summer during my quitting drinking journey.
Jonathan
Re-Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 7,912
I feel like I have a choice up until I take that first drink. It might be a very difficult choice with all the rationalization and sweet talking that my addiction can give me, but ultimately, yes, it is my decision when I do let my addiction talk me into taking that drink.
But once I take that first drink, I feel my power to choose what happens next is gone. I might only have one more drink, I might drink everyone else in the entire bar under the table. I never know where my drinking is going to lead me once it starts, but I do know there's a good chance it's somewhere I don't want to be. Once I take that first drink, my addiction is in almost complete control of the situation.
That's why I choose not to take that first drink anymore. No matter what. I don't drink when I'm happy. I don't drink when I'm sad. I don't drink when I'm angry. I don't drink when I'm lonely. I don't drink when I'm jealous. I don't drink when I'm bored. I don't drink when I'm tired. I don't drink when I'm resentful. I don't drink when there's good news in my life. I don't drink when there's bad news in my life. I don't drink.
I also choose not to put myself in situations where taking that first drink is an easier option. That involved removing some people, places and things from my life and also involved adding some new ones as well.
The longer I stay sober one day at a time and work on the real problems in my life that I was masking with 16 years of drinking, the easier it is to say no to that first drink. That's where recovery starts.
Wishing you the best today...
But once I take that first drink, I feel my power to choose what happens next is gone. I might only have one more drink, I might drink everyone else in the entire bar under the table. I never know where my drinking is going to lead me once it starts, but I do know there's a good chance it's somewhere I don't want to be. Once I take that first drink, my addiction is in almost complete control of the situation.
That's why I choose not to take that first drink anymore. No matter what. I don't drink when I'm happy. I don't drink when I'm sad. I don't drink when I'm angry. I don't drink when I'm lonely. I don't drink when I'm jealous. I don't drink when I'm bored. I don't drink when I'm tired. I don't drink when I'm resentful. I don't drink when there's good news in my life. I don't drink when there's bad news in my life. I don't drink.
I also choose not to put myself in situations where taking that first drink is an easier option. That involved removing some people, places and things from my life and also involved adding some new ones as well.
The longer I stay sober one day at a time and work on the real problems in my life that I was masking with 16 years of drinking, the easier it is to say no to that first drink. That's where recovery starts.
Wishing you the best today...
Trudgin
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 6,348
[QUOTE=kelkal;5508382 I know it's not easy but doesn't this boil down to a choice? Thanks all for listening.[/QUOTE]
I lost the power of choice a long time ago. My will power simply does not work - and once I started I typically would not stop till all the liquor was consumed or I pass out.
I had to get enough sober time for the obsession of the mind - the first drink - to be removed. Then I could learn to deal with the underlying issues.
Many "hard drinkers" can choose to stop if circumstances are right - new job, marital issues etc. Alcoholics need help - some kind of support. A kinship of suffering if you will, imo. I tried many, many, many, many times to quit on my own.
I am of the school alcoholism is more than just a moral failure.
keep coming back
I lost the power of choice a long time ago. My will power simply does not work - and once I started I typically would not stop till all the liquor was consumed or I pass out.
I had to get enough sober time for the obsession of the mind - the first drink - to be removed. Then I could learn to deal with the underlying issues.
Many "hard drinkers" can choose to stop if circumstances are right - new job, marital issues etc. Alcoholics need help - some kind of support. A kinship of suffering if you will, imo. I tried many, many, many, many times to quit on my own.
I am of the school alcoholism is more than just a moral failure.
keep coming back
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Posts: 21
I don't think that alcoholism is a disease in itself so much as it is a symptom of a diseased or otherwise dysfunctional personality style. People who drink often have similar problems with other drugs, or exhibit behaviors that are similarly compulsive, addictive, or stimulus-seeking. There are some people who just drink and nothing more, but even then it is boiling down to a mindset, a coping mechanism. Alcoholism may also seem to be hereditary, but to say "it runs in the family," begs the question of nature vs nurture. I personally grew up in a family where addictive, compulsive personalities run like a big red streak across a black canvas, and while alcohol was present and sometimes abused, I know that I am the only one who developed a serious relationship with the stuff. I think that some people like to say that alcoholism is a disease because it empowers them to think of it as an unfortunate birth defect which they are obligated to treat, rather than something they do to themselves by choice, thereby removing a layer of shame.
Just my opinion.
Just my opinion.
Trudgin
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 6,348
Originally Posted by lssnheer 
I don't think that alcoholism is a disease in itself so much as it is a symptom of a diseased or otherwise dysfunctional personality style. People who drink often have similar problems with other drugs, or exhibit behaviors that are similarly compulsive, addictive, or stimulus-seeking. There are some people who just drink and nothing more, but even then it is boiling down to a mindset, a coping mechanism. Alcoholism may also seem to be hereditary, but to say "it runs in the family," begs the question of nature vs nurture. I personally grew up in a family where addictive, compulsive personalities run like a big red streak across a black canvas, and while alcohol was present and sometimes abused, I know that I am the only one who developed a serious relationship with the stuff. I think that some people like to say that alcoholism is a disease because it empowers them to think of it as an unfortunate birth defect which they are obligated to treat, rather than something they do to themselves by choice, thereby removing a layer of shame.
Just my opinion.
Just my opinion.
Regardless, I have a lifetime to "figure that out" - If I don't drink today.
However, it is a huge mistake to let it stand in the way of sobriety - and potentially deadly.
keep coming back
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
Originally Posted by kelkal
I know it's not easy but doesn't this boil down to a choice? Thanks all for listening.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: UK
Posts: 927
Originally Posted by CaseyW
I feel like I have a choice up until I take that first drink. It might be a very difficult choice with all the rationalization and sweet talking that my addiction can give me, but ultimately, yes, it is my decision when I do let my addiction talk me into taking that drink.
But once I take that first drink, I feel my power to choose what happens next is gone. I might only have one more drink, I might drink everyone else in the entire bar under the table. I never know where my drinking is going to lead me once it starts, but I do know there's a good chance it's somewhere I don't want to be. Once I take that first drink, my addiction is in almost complete control of the situation.
I also choose not to put myself in situations where taking that first drink is an easier option. That involved removing some people, places and things from my life and also involved adding some new ones as well.
The longer I stay sober one day at a time and work on the real problems in my life that I was masking with 16 years of drinking, the easier it is to say no to that first drink. That's where recovery starts.
Wishing you the best today...
But once I take that first drink, I feel my power to choose what happens next is gone. I might only have one more drink, I might drink everyone else in the entire bar under the table. I never know where my drinking is going to lead me once it starts, but I do know there's a good chance it's somewhere I don't want to be. Once I take that first drink, my addiction is in almost complete control of the situation.
I also choose not to put myself in situations where taking that first drink is an easier option. That involved removing some people, places and things from my life and also involved adding some new ones as well.
The longer I stay sober one day at a time and work on the real problems in my life that I was masking with 16 years of drinking, the easier it is to say no to that first drink. That's where recovery starts.
Wishing you the best today...
Sober since 10th April 2012
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Perth, Western Australia
Posts: 6,047
Hi Kel, self-discipline didn't come into sobriety for me, or at least SD just on it's own. I almost always failed if I was white knuckling it.
What did help was developing the motivation to want to stop, and of course a bit of SD to support that. Once I'd worked out my reasons for sobriety, it became relatively easy compared to the time when I thought I just 'should' without believing it deep down.
What's your reasons for wanting to stop drinking? Is it to do with your health, self-esteem, family? Try focusing on reasons to choose sobriety and then put in practical measure to deal with cravings and temptation. All the information you need is here.
What did help was developing the motivation to want to stop, and of course a bit of SD to support that. Once I'd worked out my reasons for sobriety, it became relatively easy compared to the time when I thought I just 'should' without believing it deep down.
What's your reasons for wanting to stop drinking? Is it to do with your health, self-esteem, family? Try focusing on reasons to choose sobriety and then put in practical measure to deal with cravings and temptation. All the information you need is here.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
