Resetting my sobriety date
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Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
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Originally Posted by bookmaven 
I had over 15 months clean and sober before this one night.
Your future is a wide-open and clean slate; you can make it a totally sober one.
Examine what went wrong; identify the situations and mindset that led to the relapse; shore-up the holes in your plan and move forward into a healthy, happy and promising future.
Glad that you came right back, bookmaven,
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Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 831
Originally Posted by Saskia
I believe it helps to talk with people but disagree with the person who wanted you to disclose all to your family. That is a situation each of us must navigate. There is a line between lying and telling too much to people who don't understand and are unlikely to respond in a helpful way. The former is abhorrent but typical for an active alcoholic, the latter can have a bad outcome that's not necessary and hurts, not helps, everyone involved.
He said that he would tell them if I didn't, and I said I'm not going to do that. He believes that in keeping the details a secret that it will hold me back from getting better, and then the conversation started to get all mixed up with him bringing up other things from the past and me getting defensive.
At this point I just have to breathe and let the situation simmer down for a while.
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Location: ohio
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Book maven,
Great posts, congrats on getting honest and back to sobriety!
I agree with everything my friend saskia said. It's extremely important to be honest in recovery, our addiction thrives on dishonesty and darkness and secrecy. That said, being honest does not require baring all in excruciating detail. That can often hurt more than it can help.
I believe your (so?) is in pain, and he's bound to blow off some steam as he navigates his own hurt at your relapse. I think if you stay honest, open, willing to do what it takes to make it right, he'll probably simmer down. He latched on to what he thinks is important, as is his right, but it doesn't mean it's necessarily what is best for your situation.
Great posts, congrats on getting honest and back to sobriety!
I agree with everything my friend saskia said. It's extremely important to be honest in recovery, our addiction thrives on dishonesty and darkness and secrecy. That said, being honest does not require baring all in excruciating detail. That can often hurt more than it can help.
I believe your (so?) is in pain, and he's bound to blow off some steam as he navigates his own hurt at your relapse. I think if you stay honest, open, willing to do what it takes to make it right, he'll probably simmer down. He latched on to what he thinks is important, as is his right, but it doesn't mean it's necessarily what is best for your situation.
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